Sat, 26 January 2008  Is It Time To Get A Grip? Welcome back! This week we’ll take a closer look at whether or not it’s time to get a grip on your life. If you feel increasingly out-of-control, if you've got the tiger by the tail and there's no hope of things turning around, then you might very well wish that you did have a better grip; hoping that your life in some way resembled the images you see around you everyday … like the perfectly calm and organized moms and dads on TV whose houses are tidy, whose bills are paid and whose children play in their manicured backyard while Mom prepares a nutritious dinner indoors. Perhaps getting a grip on your life means that you first have to get real. It might mean admitting to yourself that those highly-manipulated images of perfection to which you compare yourself are, in reality, a copious blend of jive, sham, and shuck… in other words, being in that kind of control of your life is a load of B.S. . Getting a grip may very well depend upon repeatedly acknowledging that you are, in fact, human and that any striving on your part to achieve and/or maintain some ideal lifestyle is actually quite UNdesirable. Why, you may be asking, is that undesirable? Because at best, being in control maintains a belief in a way of being that’s not grounded in reality. In the worst-case, pursuing perfection of that kind is not even attainable. And, if you remain focused on maintaining such control, the majority of your time and energy fixes you to that commitment to having it seemingly all together. And the point of being on this planet is NOT to have it all together, but to be fulfilled, joyful and enlightened in a way that allows you contribute your best self for the benefit of the world. You see, to be alive is to be in motion. Living is a verb. It’s fluctuation, action, and reaction. It’s not standing still, maintaining balance or getting things in order and then keeping them that way. The funny thing is, I know you know it's true, but I also know that you’re probably still trying to achieve what is essentially unachievable. For example, have you ever cleaned your kitchen spic and span and then told your family that they were no longer allowed in your fresh, clean kitchen? Did you ever just want to have a situation stay exactly as it was… like savoring the most rich and tender part of a cookie that you save for last or relishing a few moments of deep connection to another that you wish would go on forever? The reality is that, as quickly as these moments come, they also go. That's what it means to go with the flow because the mounting evidence suggests that the more tightly you grasp to the minutiae of life, the more suffering you’ll endure. Eventually, clutching of that sort will strangle the life right out of the wonderful possibility that exists for all of us, even you. The truth is that you’re not living as a separate entity. By virtue of your being human, you’re inextricably connected to an uncontainable and therefore, uncontrollable web of life. When an unforeseen event is introduced to that web, chaos may ensue. One strand pulls and stretches those surrounding it. The interconnectedness simply cannot be avoided. So... the very best you can ever hope to achieve is to hone your skills at coping with and accommodating the never-ending introduction of change. Control isn’t possible but responsibility is. And if what you want is to be responsible for the success of your life, then what you’re obligated to do is exercise your ABILITY to RESPOND to life. That’s true RESPONSIBILITY. What a simple yet powerful awareness! Now that you have that understanding, I’d like you to picture for a moment the beauty of your two hands. Look at them and admire them even with scars or wrinkles or other evidence of what life has wrought. Thank your hands. Honor them for serving you so consistently and well. Recognize them as the powerful tools of creation that they are. Understand that your hands have both great skill and great responsibility for they turn ideas into realities and reach out for that which sustains you and brings you joy. Your hands however, if tightly gripped about the stuff of your current reality, the stuff that is, cannot perform their most vital function. If your hands are indeed grasping the illusion of control, they are precluded from opening, receiving and accepting that which exists beyond your control. Yes my friend, to keep your hands open means letting go and assuming an available, receptive, trusting position. It means saying to your self, perhaps I don’t have to fix this situation. Perhaps all I need to do is observe and see what happens on its own. And just maybe, if you were to do that, were to let go completely, you might create the space necessary for something bigger and better to enter. The juiciest part of this is that you won’t know if you don’t try. Beloved poet Pablo Neruda wrote the following piece that I’d like to share with you because it so beautifully conveys how letting go of control and releasing your grip on life ushers in a void of endless possibility. He wrote: Here’s my 7-day challenge for you: Rather than of getting a grip on your life, I suggest that you get perspective instead. One of the ways that has proven so useful to putting my own life in perspective is to put it on paper. Journaling or other forms of self-expression serve to free your energy by discharging it out of your system and giving it a new form. That new form will then exist outside of you, providing the distance that’s essential to objectivity and ultimately, receptivity. Writing releases and opens; allowing mental, emotional and spiritual energies to flow, letting ideas flow, and prosperity flow. As you invite the details of life to flow outward you are also welcoming the potential of life to flow inward. Therefore, giving up control includes being ready and willing to receive inspiration at any time and in any place. To give you an example, the idea for this essay came to me around 3 a.m. one morning. So instead of resisting it or telling myself I could remember the idea the next day, I got up and grabbed the notebook off my headboard and began to make notes. As I did, seeds for another 10 or 11 essays came through clearly at the same time. It's really just a matter of being absolutely open for the only perfect time and place to receive divine direction is right now. Please join me next time when I ask "What are you waiting for?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace. Comments[0] |
Sun, 13 January 2008 Parlez-Vous Prosperity? Welcome back! As I prepare this week's episode, I'm aware that at the outset of an election year, popular media has unleashed its great storm of political coverage including waves of endless, divisive language. The point of using divisive methodologies is to create dissension or discord. In other words, you don't have to look far to see how language, when used destructively, will necessarily divide groups of people by perpetuating the either/or paradigm which you’ve heard me mention time and again. In this case, that paradigm can be thought of as red states versus blue states, Republicans versus Democrats and so forth. The real point of using divisive language is to separate “us� from “them� in a way that polarizes people into specific parties and predictable voting lines. I bring this up because it specifically relates to this episode’s question “Parlez-Vous Prosperity?" In order to answer that, I want to relate a very important, and perhaps transformational, idea to you as it relates to my own conception of what constitutes prosperity or success whether it be political or personal in nature. Some years ago, I had the great fortune of attending a signing of a just-released book entitled ‘The Soul of Money’ by Lynn Twist. With her book, Twist succeeded in fundamentally altering my relationship with money by demonstrating to me that money is ultimately representational. What that means is that money represents value; the value of earth's resources, our collective human resources and so on. I know you understand this because if you're in pursuit of money, chances are that what you actually want is the powerful effect that money exerts in our culture. Ever heard the term ‘money is power’? Of course you have! So you see, when it comes right down to it, money represents energy. And that's clearly evidenced in your experience I'm sure because people with great energy tend to attract their own prosperity whether that takes the form of valuable friends and business connections or it shows up as having great personal or financial influence in one's life. Before I go any further, I want to take you back to an earlier remark about the fact that language can be and is used destructively all around us. However, when you're committed to the and/both awareness, you’re conscious of the fact that language can also be used CONSTRUCTIVELY! And when you use words in a constructive way, you’ll most decidedly begin to speak the language of true prosperity. For many of you listening, speaking prosperity may not come naturally. It may in fact not be your native tongue but something of a second language that you must practice consistently in order to gain any real fluency. Let me give you an example of what I mean. In the past I've mentioned that I consider my true passion to be healing the epidemic of scarcity consciousness. The instrument of that healing for me comes in the form of words. As I set out to share the peace of prosperity with a worldwide audience, I did so with a very clear intent. The intent was to create healing and inspirational content for everyone, regardless of upbringing or circumstances. To accomplish that, I intentionally use those words that are innately inclusive rather than exclusive. It’s language that welcomes and provides sustenance for all through the use of compassionate and constructive communication thereby breaking the pervasive pattern we see throughout popular media. Compassionate communication is that which recognizes the humanity in each and every one of us. Constructive communication is that which builds connections and community in a way that fosters real progress. And if you go back and review all of my episodes, you'll see this strong theme of inclusivity in all that I publish. It's my practice. It's how I'm learning to speak prosperous and life-giving language to myself which then allows me to teach that to you and to everyone who's ready to dramatically alter the status quo. So... will you accept my invitation to speak success? Will you honor the fact that words have meaning, that they represent intent and that words, just like money, have an ENERGY all their own? It's true! The spoken word holds great power. Have you ever had someone do something unkind to you only to turn around and offer an insincere apology like " I'm sorry..."? Don't you always know whether or not someone is being really genuine? Isn't part of growing up learning to distinguish what is authentic from what is not? Here's the big take away: the words you use contain considerable power; the power to create success and the power to prevent success. And this power has particular impact when it comes to the words you speak inwardly, even silently. Therefore, criticizing or condemning yourself in any way will necessarily impact your own ability to affect positive change.
Indeed, your subconscious mind never stops listening to what you have to say to yourself. And it’s that mind that ultimately directs your conscious thought and actions. That being said, it's imperative that you actively choose to speak the language of prosperity in a way that’s absorbed at the cellular level. Yes, when you speak to your SELF, you're speaking to your CELLS! And what you say is what you then embody. It's just like the expression ‘You are what you eat’, Now that you understand that, you're brought to a thrilling new opportunity to express your highest self by practicing the language of prosperity, of compassion, of UNITY! There's a wonderful quote that sums this up perfectly: "People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel." Here's my 7- day challenge for you: Examine all that you say inwardly and outwardly. As you become aware of your own use of polarizing language and its impact, take a moment to understand the energy behind the words. When you recognize your use of such language, begin to create your own personal lexicon, your own vocabulary of unity. And as you incorporate and master this new and prosperous language, notice how the compelling affect of this new way of speaking both creates and maintains a dynamic connection between yourself and success. Please join me next time when I ask "Is it time to get a grip?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace. Comments[0] |
Wed, 2 January 2008 What’s Your Resolution? Welcome back! It's that time again when you might consider making some important changes in the year ahead. So what's your resolution? A resolution is the act of determining a course of action either privately or as a public expression of intent.
Are you ready to do or be something "different"? Will you strive for self-improvement... to be more fit or more focused, or perhaps more consistent and more organized? Are you one of those people that makes secret resolutions because you're afraid that if you tell somebody what you want to achieve and then don't do it, that you’ll only add embarrassment to the shame you might already feel? One thing's for sure, whatever you do, you're going to do it with real purpose and commitment this time. Right?
But guess what? Yours truly, the ever-reliable source of optimism, is here to share the harsh reality about resolutions. The truth is that 72% of resolutions fail. It's incredible I know but, if you've ever resolved to make changes in your life, then you've probably also fallen short of your goals.
So, in my ongoing effort to shift away from either/or thinking, I’d like you to consider the possibility that you make NO resolutions whatsoever this year. That's not to say that personal development isn't valuable. It is to say that growth and progress are not exclusive to your level of self-control and determination.
I agree that discipline has its proper place. Within this context, I'm suggesting to you that discipline might come in the form of exercising your right to actively avoid resolution making of any kind.
Consider this: Is what you really want for your future based on some form of self criticism? Is moving your goal from ideation to realization just a means to an end? Is it a byproduct of permission-based living? Or could it be a matter of your creating those conditions upon which you allow yourself approval and kindness?
It's a lot to think about I know. But it's important that you consider the source of that which you find undesirable in yourself or otherwise deem worthy of change. Because when you fully grasp the big WHY behind your resolutions, only then can you invite something new with the requisite self-knowledge and self-acceptance that allows change to occur with any permanency.
So... I hope you'll join me this year in making NO resolutions. I hope you'll share my path as I explore the alternatives to inviting positive and lasting change.
A friend of mine recently shared with me that she felt as though her life has no more surprises in store. She said it with a sense of sadness and loss. And my response to her was this: Life is absolutely full of surprises but, if you become hyper-focused on pre-determined outcomes, you'll certainly miss the unexpected opportunities that arise. When opportunity does knock, you might answer the door to discover something that doesn’t at all resemble the image in your mind. How many possibilities have been rejected or altogether thrown away because they don’t match the picture of how it’s SUPPOSED TO look?
So the question then for everyone in my audience is "Are you ready to let go of that perfect picture of what you think life SHOULD be?" Letting go means remaining open and present to the sometimes subtle surprises that make life so exciting! Letting go is much easier when you recognize the critically important difference between surrender and capitulation.
Surrendering can be thought of as giving up whereas capitulating can be likened to giving IN. To give up is to stop trying and acknowledge defeat; an ending of sorts. So it's no wonder that no one wants to surrender because no one wants to believe that their dreams are impossible or that they’re a failure.
On the other hand, when you capitulate, you give in to the natural ebb and flow that IS life! You finally stop resisting and wasting your precious energy on struggle. To give into the ever-present current of life is not an ending but a significant BEGINNING. From that point of beginning, you're consciously positioning yourself as agent of change; a conduit through which the unexpected may now take place. Remember, it's not about making good things happen but letting good things happen.
Letting the good stuff in requires that you give into the power of NOW. Being in the now and achieving that level of presence is to stop dreaming about what could be or trying to figure out what you're supposed to do next. Actually, the true task at hand is to honor curiosity.
Curiosity is defined as being careful and diligent. In other words, it means that you stop for a few minutes and care about what's going on, really going on, in this present moment. It begins with recognizing yourself first then others, and ultimately recognizing the succulent possibilities that become visible to those who are patient enough to look closely.
In the end, it's not really a matter of changing your life but of allowing your life to change YOU! So will you have the discipline to wait and see; to serenely await guidance and goodness to enter in its own form and upon its own schedule? Your answer will most certainly be YES if you first take a moment to imagine the joy that accompanies deep satisfaction of your curiosity. Joseph Campbell, the acclaimed professor and author once wrote “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.� Here's my 7-day challenge for you: Each day for the next week make a list of those areas of your life in which you experience struggle. Instead of engaging the struggle, use your critical thinking and feeling capacity to gain an intimate understanding of what's behind the struggle. What might you be resisting and, if you are indeed resisting, what is that resistance perpetuating? Understanding conflicts allows you to move beyond them and come back to the gift of the present. Look upon every aspect of your life with genuine wonder an intense curiosity. See everything with the unassuming eyes of a child. Take in all the nourishment and knowledge available to you in any passing instant to be enriched, supported, protected and guided to the life that is waiting just for you!
Please join me next time when I ask "Parlez-vous Prosperity?"
Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.
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