Joyanne Sloan's Podcast

What Have You Got to Say for Yourself?

Welcome back!  This week I'm putting a humorous spin on the age-old question "What have you got to say for yourself?"  But in this case, I don't ask that question to put you on the defensive and I certainly don't mean to suggest that you need to offer any excuse. The point really is to get you thinking about what you might want to share with the world.  That's not to say that you need to become the next great novelist.  Instead, my wish for you is to engage that part of you, that deep inner wisdom and totally unique perspective, that sets you apart from anyone else you've ever met.

What I want you to know first and foremost is that the knowing that is exclusively yours is both rare and valuable.  In other words, any unwillingness to contribute your insights, constitutes a significant withholding from the greater good.  And when I say "greater good" I mean that in a holistic sense from the simple to the sublime; from changing your life to changing the world around you.  

It doesn't mean that you have to commit to writing a book, even though I know there are many of you listening to me that would love to do just that.  What it does mean is that you have an obligation of sorts to communicate the consciousness that IS you to others.  That might include keeping a journal or just telling your story to your kids in a way that acknowledges and honors the undivided and organic truth of you; the dark and the light, the sour and the sweet and everything in between.

To do that is to facilitate great healing and to cultivate your best expression.  For some many of us, perhaps even you, your authentic voice may exist as a soft whisper.  And if that's so for you, I'd like you to recognize that the volume of that voice may directly correlate to your willingness to have it be heard.  And I mean REALLY heard in undeniable kind of way. 

If when I ask "What have you got to say for yourself?", you find yourself answering "Nothing" then I dedicate this episode to you.  You may have grown up in an environment in which your opinion didn't matter.  You may have been told to keep quiet and to keep the peace by not speaking up for what truly deserved to be said and may in fact, still deserve to be said.  If that statement resonates with you, I want you to see how the unspoken realities of your life may act as roadblocks along the way to what you truly desire. In other words, asking for what you really, really want takes practice!

And if what you want includes truth and integrity and faith then you must speak the truth, speak with integrity and speak from that place in which you express faith in that it's not only OKAY but RIGHT to say what should be said.  And in doing so you'll effectively uncork the bottleneck of what has long awaited expression through you.  That’s a supremely creative act, of not only finding your voice, but of conditioning and strengthening your voice to the point at which others take notice.  The most important thing, however, is that YOU notice.

As an example, it's only after a couple of years of consistently writing that I now identify myself as a writer.  And if you go back and listen to my first couple of podcasts, you'll notice a clear distinction between the power of my voice as I speak to you now in contrast to the much smaller voice apparent in those initial episodes. For me, finding my voice took nearly a year of diligent work and commitment to my writing and podcasting.  That’s a process which doesn't end, it just continues, growing stronger and easier with each subsequent step.

You might be saying "Yes I have something to say but who would care to hear it?"  I've heard this sentiment repeatedly from those who’d like to write but who abandon the process out of judgment before they even get started.  They pre-judge the value of their own wisdom and are therefore prejudice in a way that not only hurts themselves but prevents any possible benefit to others. 

You don't have to BE a writer to write, just as you don't have to be a professional speaker in order to speak.  You just have to get started and let it out.  You only need to work at providing the permission and trusting that the wisdom patiently waiting to be freed, will have a momentum and a force all its own. Ability is a function of willingness. It is not a matter of "if" but "when".

Having something to say for yourself requires having a strong hold on the SELF that says it.  For when you finally speak the truth, it will set things free as only truth can.  It will foster real communication and real growth.  It will set things in motion including you.  It may be new, and perhaps even a little bit scary, but most of all, it will invite you into a realm and a way of being that is absolutely appropriate to the YOU you’re becoming.

So what have you got to say?  What hidden treasures are lurking behind your stories, your family dramas and who you think you are?  How else might you discover or uncover more of yourself without genuine communication from the heart; a critical connection with your self made possible through the power of compassionate communion? 

It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who once wrote:

"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men … that is genius."

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

In the coming week I want you to become cognizant of all situations in which you swallow your words or silence yourself.  You'll notice when this happens because you'll feel uncomfortable.  You'll want to speak honestly, to say "NO!" and mean it, but habitual fear will want to stop you in your tracks.  You'll hear an inner monologue such as "It's not okay" or "I shouldn't".  At that point you have a valuable opportunity to do a pattern interrupt by asking yourself "Why not?"  Discover the why, discover the raw truth and, in turn, your own precious voice.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you make a good first impression?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

What Is Manifest Destiny? 

Perhaps you're like me in that you’ve heard of the expression "manifest destiny" and yet you're not totally sure what it means. Since the release of the much-acclaimed movie ‘The Secret’, there's been a lot of buzz about the process of manifesting great things for your life and with good reason.

We hear a lot of things about positive thinking, the power of intention, and how you play a critical role in affecting the outcomes of your life.  While that's not to say that you necessarily control the outcome, it is to say that you possess far greater influence over your results than you probably realize.

But for now, let's get back to manifest destiny.  The term dates back to the 1840’s.  It's a phrase that expressed the belief that the United States was destined to expand from the Atlantic seaboard to the Pacific Ocean. Advocates of Manifest Destiny believed that expansion was not only good, but that it was obvious or "manifest" and certain or "destined". Manifest Destiny was an explanation or justification for that expansion and westward movement, or an ideology which helped to promote the process.

It's plain to see that that old meaning is, by today's standards, both antiquated and seemingly self-important beyond words.  So, being the creative types we are, let's redefine "manifest destiny" for the new millennium.  And just for fun, let's use the outdated definition as a jumping off point.

Certainly we can arrive at a definition which also justifies and promotes your OWN expansion because, in my humble opinion, your destiny is to experience consistent growth by virtue of the fact that you're a living and evolving being. Your body is constantly undergoing a processing of renewal. Your cells change, your thoughts change and ultimately… YOU change!

Here’s an amazing fact for you: your skin cells are replaced every 35 days. By the time you’re 20 years old you would have replaced your skin cells roughly 200 times. Even more interesting is that you can impact this ongoing growth process by way of what you do.  Say for example that you'd experienced an injury like a cut or scrape.  By taking certain supplements or applying certain emollients to your skin, you'd be directly influencing how that healing process occurs.  You could speed up or slow down your skin’s growth. And, you can  personal growth or hasten personal growth, it’s up to you!

So... to encourage your ability to manifest positive change, and thereby directly affect your destiny, you'll first have to realize one major thing.  And that is that the term destiny in this discussion is not about a predetermined or inevitable outcome.  To believe in that is an act of disempowerment on a grand scale. 

The definition of destiny that I want you to adopt is this: The power or agency that determines the course of events. Agency is the state of being in action or of exerting power. Specifically, it places great privilege and responsibility squarely on your shoulders.

It means that in order to manifest your dreams, or otherwise transform your ideas from concepts to reality, that you must have a fundamental agreement between your INTENTION and ATTENTION. In plain English, I’m saying that what you WANT has to be in alignment with what you DO.  What are you intending to have happen?  And more importantly, does where you put your time and energy support or compromise your intentions?

Here's a really big idea that I want you to pay close attention to.  Manifesting opportunities, relationships, joy or success does not come purely from holding to the mere idea of those things.  The take away is this: the word "manifest" is actually a contraction of two words.  The first half comes from the Latin word ‘manus’ or hand.  The second half comes from the verb ‘festus’ which means ‘to strike’. So, manifesting is the direct result of the actions of your hands.

Isn't that powerful beyond words?  It’s amazing to finally understand that achieving what you want, and reaching your absolute success and ultimate expression, is largely and literally within your hands!

A man by the name of Frank Outlaw is credited with the following saying:

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.�

Here’s my 7-day challenge for you:

This week I want you to take notice of any discord between your INtentions and ATtentions; between your desires and actions.  Such disagreement will become obvious when you more closely examine those areas of your life in which you're not seeing the results you desire.  The goal here is not to put you in the mindset of forcing anything to be.  Instead, I'm encouraging you to take action, consistent action, in the direction of your dreams.  Don't strive for perfection but do your best and do it with great purpose.  Know at the end of each day that you have done your best and willingly let go of the rest.  For in your ability to surrender you're attachment to outcome, you’re necessarily honoring that your universe may have in store far loftier plans and grander ideas than you could conceive of in your wildest imaginings.

Please join me next time when I ask "What have you got to say for yourself?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

What Were You Thinking?

 Welcome back!  Today we're going to take a look at the transformative power of forgiveness by answering the question "What were you thinking?"  We've all been there, it's true.  The desire to assign blame is ongoing as far as I can tell.  Here’s a great example to illustrate my point. A year ago, I bought a pretty shacky little cottage with a leaking roof and a wildly overgrown garden, not unlike a blackberry jungle.  But you know, even with all its problems, even with the more than 2000  pounds of junk I've since hauled from the yard, I love my little house because it has soul.

There are interesting plants in every corner.  Flowers spill out in all directions and fruit falls abundantly from the trees.  It’s at once both a paradise and a pit.  A few months after I bought it, I found myself yet again in line at the hardware store.  The bearings of my furnace motor were blown and a host of furry little vermin had taken up residence in the attic.  As I stood there waiting to buy a space heater and rat poison, I found myself saying "What was I thinking? Why on God's green earth did I pick that house?"  Although the reality was that the house had picked me.

Even though I alternately worked and froze my ass, my little house has turned out to be a wonderful home and an even better investment. But... at the time when I had to quiet the gnawing rodents in order to get some sleep, buying this needful little cottage seemed like a huge mistake.  Mistakes, as you know, come in infinite shapes and sizes.  They come as unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling jobs and unnecessary drama.

Mistakes are necessary hurdles in the way of success.  They’re unavoidable and essential to your progress.  So the take-away of this episode is to encourage you to become conscious of the blame that accompanies anything you define as a "mistake". 

Placing blame is a learned response and can therefore be unlearned.  Blaming is a fruitless method by which we think we are correcting a situation or somehow making up for past mistakes.  Blame is a way of controlling behavior by prolonging a sense of guilt and shame. And what’s the use of that?  What does it really accomplish?  The worst variation of the desire to shame and coerce behavior is when you do it to yourself; such as when you play the dual role of both perpetrator and victim. 

Say for example that you've got most of a left-over chocolate cake sitting at home.  You might begin with the very saintly act of cleaning up the rough edges or what I call the "offending irregularities".  Then, before you know it and much to your chagrin, you’ve managed to whittle the cake down to just about nothing.  The moment you stop enjoying the luscious frosting, your inner critic springs to action; making you feel ashamed and guilty for doing the thing that, just a few minutes ago, felt sooooooooo good!

Lucy Leu who wrote the ‘Nonviolent Communication Workbook’ describes it this way: "There’s a belief in our culture that the suffering of the perpetrator makes up for the loss that victims undergo... an eye for an eye. If I lose an eye as a consequence of your behavior, I know my deep need for empathy, compassion and safety will not be met by your offering me either your self-judgment or your eye."

What's she's saying essentially is that there's a serious risk involved with playing the blame game and that's the risk of becoming tightly lodged between figuring out who’s right and who's wrong.  Even trying to understand the "why" behind a certain outcome is just another attempt to assign responsibility.  The opportunity available in all undesirable circumstances is to actively choose the alternate path of radical forgiveness.

Forgiveness means mourning the choices you've made and then letting go, and moving on.  There isn't a set time in which that has to happen. You can't just build a bridge and get over it without taking the time to honor what’s happened and how, as a result, you're going to proceed to get your needs met.

The Old English origin of the verb "to forgive" means to give, grant, or allow.  In other words, forgiving others and, most importantly, forgiving yourself equates to a green light on the road to success.  Forgiveness is a seriously impactful form of detachment because it allows you to more objectively acknowledge the wisdom to be gleaned from a given situation. Forgiveness empowers you to clearly assess the highest and best methods for applying what you've learned on the road ahead, inch by compassionate inch, step by loving step.

In the words of poet Ranier Maria Rilke:

"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princes who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave." 

My challenge for you this week is to keep a written record of any situations in which blame wants to surface.  Consider how liberating your self from the burden of blame would enable you to freely go about fulfilling your unmet needs. Imagine how a compassionate perspective keeps you connected and focused to the possibilities; how you remain undivided and uncompromised in your pursuit of something better, something alive, something real! 

Please join me next time when I ask "What is manifest destiny?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Are You Separate From Success?

Welcome back!  Let's jump right into answering this week's question "Are you separate from success?"  If you've been a regular listener to this podcast, then you know that one of the things I always try to accomplish is a shift in perspective or to otherwise invite my audience to consider that there are a multitude of perspectives on the topic of success depending on your own personal beliefs.

And one of the ideas I've consistently tried to convey is that success is innately qualitative rather than quantitative.  That's to say that success is an experience, a feeling and a way of being instead of an object or an objective.  The feelings of success can be transient at best. But why? Like a volatile, essential oil, the success you may have experienced this morning can seemingly dissipate and rise up into the ethers, beyond your reach and control.

Hasn't that happened to you?  Haven't you been suddenly derailed from feeling on top of the world with just a tiny change in circumstances?  The point that I'm trying to make is that if you agree that success is, in large part, a feeling that results from your beliefs then it's fair to say that you’re in control of the thoughts and beliefs that produce the feelings of success or failure.

In a recent conversation with a fellow coach and friend of mine, he reminded me that what you believe is not a fact, but a feeling of certainty. For me, what he shared had a strong ring of truth to it.  Life has demonstrated again and again that feelings of certainty have a greater likelihood of determining outcome whether positive or negative. That’s because we make decisions based on what we believe we know. So... if you feel separate from success, as though it's out there in the great beyond or at least beyond you, then what you're effectively expressing is that success is not about self-determination as much as it is about destination.

And, if you're certain that success, in whatever form it may take, is something you have to GET, then you’re actively perpetuating the fundamental belief in duality. Duality is about being separate from the experience of life that you would otherwise choose to have.  It's a belief in the OTHER, and in ISOLATION which necessarily robs you of the all-powerful autonomy so essential to you being the person you desire to be. It robs you of your autonomy by way of forfeiting to others, your right to affirm the success you already know yourself to be. What if nobody else on this planet ever told you that you were a worthy or loveable being? What if you did for yourself instead?

What I'm challenging is the unconscious ways in which you affirm, through action, the either/or paradigm from which duality is born.  Therefore, if you're to successfully erase the illusion of separation, you’ll move ever closer to the deep knowing that what you want and what you need is absolutely and unmistakably within you.  That my friend, is the precious gift of UNITY; to be one with the infinite expressions of success by wittingly joining your seen and unseen selves.

It's a matter of simply acknowledging and acting upon the fact that everything you are capable of being and achieving is contained within you at this very moment.  Of this you can be certain.  Just as it was at the time of your conception when that exceedingly minute entity that held the capacity of who you are today, so too does your current expression hold the capacity for who you will become.  In your hands and in your mind is the power to uncover that truth and the yet invisible facets of yourself awaiting such happy revelation.

As spoken by Dr. John Hagelin:

"I am my atoms, but I'm also my cells.  I'm also my macroscopic physiology.  It's all true.  They're just different levels of truth.  The deepest level of truth uncovered by science and by philosophy is the fundamental truth of unity.  At that deepest subnuclear level of our reality, you and I are literally one."

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Divide a sheet of paper into three columns.  On the column to the left, make a list of the way your life presently is.  In other words, right down the ways of being that are true for you right now.  In the middle column, write down the achievements you’d need to reach in order to change what is into a more authentic expression of who you believe you can become.  In the last column, make a list of the ways you want your future life to be.  The answers you put in each column should correlate to the one beside it. 

The point of this exercise is to remove, one by one, the achievements that maintain the division between who you are and who you truly want to become.  Focus on the center column and ask yourself honestly, are any of the successes you think you SHOULD have in life really a prerequisite to just being that dream version of yourself?  Are you certain?  Remember... believing is seeing.

Please join me next time when I ask “What were you thinking?�

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.