Wed, 30 May 2007
Success Coaching: Do You Have To Be Right?

Do you have to be right?

Welcome back!  Do you or someone you know, have to be right?  If you've never found yourself passionately defending your opinions or beliefs, then I'm sure you know someone who has.  And, if you've ever been lucky enough to have an argument with someone who fits that description, then there's no doubt you know how irritating that can be. But why is self righteous behavior so incredibly aggravating?  Let's explore the answers together.

Being right, particularly when it's a very rigid stance, is yet one more example of the either/or paradigm in which we live.  Asserting your right-ness is, in my opinion, a divisive effort because, in order to be right, another party has to be wrong.

The desire to be right cannot be divorced from your survival instinct.  We all learned conformity at an early age.  We learn how to belong and how to access the benefits of inclusion, often at the expense of our individuality. Those lessons are underscored into adulthood in both social and religious settings where superiority and exclusivity may dominate.

That pattern is so deeply ingrained into our collective psychology that it serves as the basis for most advertising campaigns.  Marketers understand how to stimulate the unevolved part of your brain that manages your flight or fight response.  You've seen the commercials that come right out and say: use our product and you'll be part of the inner circle; by our stuff and the opposite sex will find you irresistible. They want you to believe that what they're offering will lead you to the right job, the right person, or the right pill that makes it all right.  Right?

You're pushed and pulled by a thousand different remedies and the promise of success they offer.  And 9 times out of 10, those who profit from your fear want you to remember one thing... without their latest widget, gizmo or thingamajig, you're not in, but out.  You're excluded from ever finding the prosperity you want: the health, the wealth, or the time to enjoy both before it's too late, so they urge you not to be left behind.

You know what's funny about all that?  You and I can see right through the lies and yet advertisers persist.  They do that because they have proof that it works. So my goal is to get you to think.  I want to broaden the awareness that impacts your choices and actions.  I want you to know, before you invest in another rejuvenating lotion or magical potion, that success is a human construct.  It other words, success doesn't exist outside of the person you attribute it to.

Success is not some THING, but some ONE!  True success is the someone who has aggregated human capital, the resources of valued relationships, and a genuine, priceless peace in any given moment.  But most of all, success is having the great fortune of choice for that's the freedom of self-determination that countless human beings have given their lives to protect.  So what do you choose for yourself?  Who do you choose to be?  I want you to think about how to INclude yourself in success through surrendering the desire to be right.  Because now, now you know that right and wrong are the language of EXclusion.

Being right feels good because we're all conditioned to associate it with approval, survival and love.  We learn to modify what we say and do for fear of being judged as inadequate.  However, the informed mind, your mind, has the ability to move beyond the innate fear response and to apply the knowing within your conscious mind.  That is the premise of self awareness.  That's your unique human ability to know, to expand and evolve beyond the constraints of right and wrong.

Moving beyond judgment means that you hold the key to the invisible door that stands between where you are now at where you desire to go.  Abandoning judgment is to knowingly liberate your self from the limitations of either/or thinking.  It means not having to defend a position or the current definition of self you've become attached to or identified with.

On the topic of surrendering judgment, the Swedish diplomat and second Secretary-General of the United Nations Dag Hammarskjold once said: 

Wed, 30 May 2007
Success Coaching: Do You Have To Be Right?

Do you have to be right?

Welcome back!  Do you or someone you know, have to be right?  If you've never found yourself passionately defending your opinions or beliefs, then I'm sure you know someone who has.  And, if you've ever been lucky enough to have an argument with someone who fits that description, then there's no doubt you know how irritating that can be. But why is self righteous behavior so incredibly aggravating?  Let's explore the answers together.

Being right, particularly when it's a very rigid stance, is yet one more example of the either/or paradigm in which we live.  Asserting your right-ness is, in my opinion, a divisive effort because, in order to be right, another party has to be wrong.

The desire to be right cannot be divorced from your survival instinct.  We all learned conformity at an early age.  We learn how to belong and how to access the benefits of inclusion, often at the expense of our individuality. Those lessons are underscored into adulthood in both social and religious settings where superiority and exclusivity may dominate.

That pattern is so deeply ingrained into our collective psychology that it serves as the basis for most advertising campaigns.  Marketers understand how to stimulate the unevolved part of your brain that manages your flight or fight response.  You've seen the commercials that come right out and say: use our product and you'll be part of the inner circle; by our stuff and the opposite sex will find you irresistible. They want you to believe that what they're offering will lead you to the right job, the right person, or the right pill that makes it all right.  Right?

You're pushed and pulled by a thousand different remedies and the promise of success they offer.  And 9 times out of 10, those who profit from your fear want you to remember one thing... without their latest widget, gizmo or thingamajig, you're not in, but out.  You're excluded from ever finding the prosperity you want: the health, the wealth, or the time to enjoy both before it's too late, so they urge you not to be left behind.

You know what's funny about all that?  You and I can see right through the lies and yet advertisers persist.  They do that because they have proof that it works. So my goal is to get you to think.  I want to broaden the awareness that impacts your choices and actions.  I want you to know, before you invest in another rejuvenating lotion or magical potion, that success is a human construct.  It other words, success doesn't exist outside of the person you attribute it to.

Success is not some THING, but some ONE!  True success is the someone who has aggregated human capital, the resources of valued relationships, and a genuine, priceless peace in any given moment.  But most of all, success is having the great fortune of choice for that's the freedom of self-determination that countless human beings have given their lives to protect.  So what do you choose for yourself?  Who do you choose to be?  I want you to think about how to INclude yourself in success through surrendering the desire to be right.  Because now, now you know that right and wrong are the language of EXclusion.

Being right feels good because we're all conditioned to associate it with approval, survival and love.  We learn to modify what we say and do for fear of being judged as inadequate.  However, the informed mind, your mind, has the ability to move beyond the innate fear response and to apply the knowing within your conscious mind.  That is the premise of self awareness.  That's your unique human ability to know, to expand and evolve beyond the constraints of right and wrong.

Moving beyond judgment means that you hold the key to the invisible door that stands between where you are now at where you desire to go.  Abandoning judgment is to knowingly liberate your self from the limitations of either/or thinking.  It means not having to defend a position or the current definition of self you've become attached to or identified with.

On the topic of surrendering judgment, the Swedish diplomat and second Secretary-General of the United Nations Dag Hammarskjold once said: 

"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean."

So, my 7-day challenge to you is to let go of the judgments that define and confine you.  Let go and see what happens.  Discover what lives beyond right and wrong.  Embrace the mystery, the not knowing and be in the exquisite company of possibility.  When you choose the paradigm of what's possible, you step into the realm from which the impossible becomes reality.  It's your pure creative essence, it's magic and it's rightfully yours for the asking.

Please join me next time when we explore the question:

"Are you vulnerable to success?"

 Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

Direct download: Do_You_Have_To_Be_Right.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 1:46 AM
Comments[0]
Thu, 24 May 2007
Success Coaching: Are You An Untouchable?

Welcome back!

I'd like to invite you to join me for the next few minutes as we explore what it means to be an untouchable in modern times. More importantly, I'll be asking you to connect our discoveries to your own self and success. 

The term 'untouchable' refers to members of the lowest social class in India. This classification of social hierarchy is known as the caste system.  Within the Hindu tradition, it's believed that if members of the higher social classes come in to physical contact with the Untouchables, that they're rendered impure.  In fact, the two classes don't actually have to touch each other because it's thought that even treading upon the shadow of an untouchable achieves the same outcome.

Within our culture, the caste system appears to be outdated at best and absurd by modern standards.  And yet, what's truly fascinating about the antiquated notion of being untouchable is that it survives to this day. More amazing still is that even while Western civilization rejects the caste system, it maintains its own concept of social stratification.

Think about it.  Doesn't our culture perpetuate those labels which distinguish one from the other: Rich or poor, have or have not, winner or loser? And, of course, it goes without saying that this kind of polarity exists well beyond the words you use to describe it. In that regard, language holds the power to create and maintain social division based, for the most part, upon the mere evidence you use to evaluate those who you deem "successful" from those who aren't. 

It comes then as no surprise that your basic human need to belong would drive you, even unwittingly, towards a public statement of self-worth through material, intellectual, and social avenues. It's about saying "I matter" by way of what you have, what you do, and who you are. You see belonging is not a desire but a need because interdependence is critical to your survival.  And, in the end, surviving is succeeding. Human history is fraught with the countless and silent stories of those who failed to belong.  That's what it means to be an outcast.

An outcast is a person who's stigmatized or otherwise denied the benefits of a culture, usually for being perceived as being outside the social norms of that culture.  Here's the point, if you're going to survive and perhaps even thrive, it will depend upon your ability to find and secure true acceptance.

Are you ready for the take away?  You don't GET acceptance from others, you GIVE it to yourself.  You learn how to recognize those parts of you that you've labeled as untouchable.  You begin with an intention for clear seeing and proceed to undress the persona you've constructed and speak to the bare truth of you.  It's about the unglamorous, undesirable and unspoken facets of your life that you label and reject; effectively casting out what has failed to bear fruit or to provide you with the necessary sweetness you seek.

This process is initiated by recognizing that words not only hold the power to polarize, but also hold the power to unify.  Language, and the intention it represents, is most important at the internal level.  That's to say that the words you speak to yourself contain the all-mighty capacity for communing with the unseen self in the most profound and impactful way possible. That describes the very essence of communication. And when you're communing with your true nature, you forge a relationship with those formerly stigmatized parts of you. When you connect within, you no longer deny yourself the benefits that once existed beyond your grasp.

My gift to you is about illuminating the often hidden paths within your self; those that reveal your secrets to success. And, in order for that to happen, you must first choose to make contact with your WHOLE being. No longer can you separate what's beautiful from what is not, after committing to being complete and having complete success. That is what it means to live divinely and THAT is what I wish for you.

As inspirational author Mike Dooley once wrote:

"To give beyond reason. To care beyond hope. To love without limit. To reach, stretch, and dream in spite of your fears. These are the hallmarks of divinity - traits of the immortal - your badges of honor, and your ticket home."

To learn more about Mike's work visit www.tut.com

Here's my seven-day challenge for you:

Learn how to touch success completely and how to let it touch you; entirely, gently, repeatedly, satisfyingly and absolutely!  To do that means not hiding, not fearing or withholding any part of yourself that you have failed to accept.  Seize your rightful authority to bless the bitter and the sweet in everything, for that will provide you with much-needed balance and the grounded foundation upon which to reach out and take in more tenderness, more beauty, more JOY.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you have to be right?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Direct download: Are_You_An_Untouchable.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 4:14 PM
Comments[0]
Wed, 16 May 2007
Success Coaching: Do You Have A Success Handicap?

Welcome back!

This week's episode answers the question "Do you have a success handicap?" I can just hear you saying "What?  What does she mean by success handicap?" In this case, handicap is defined as: A mental disadvantage that when imposed, makes progress difficult.

Here's a little story that beautifully illustrates my point. A while back I was listening to a public radio segment about the remarkable increase in men, women, and even teens who are seeking plastic surgery as a means to self-improvement.

The segment host had assembled a panel of plastic surgeons who told shocking tales of countless clients requesting absolutely unnecessary cosmetic procedures.  The most memorable story went like this...

A middle-aged man came to a particular plastic surgeon in order to improve his looks. Upon examination, the doctor took notice of a pronounced bump protruding from the ridge of the man's nose and felt at once that a surgical procedure would definitely remedy the patient's displeasure with his appearance.

The doctor and patient scheduled the surgery soon after their initial consultation.  A few days after the procedure was completed, the man returned to his doctor to have a first look at the results. The man and his girlfriend arrived at the doctor's office with much anticipation.

The doctor proceeded to carefully remove the bandages from around the man's face.  Quite pleased with the outcome, the doctor handed the patient a mirror with which to admire the results. Upon seeing his nose for the first time, the man erupted in an angry outburst. Confused and alarmed, the surgeon quickly re-bandaged the man's face and told him that perhaps it was too soon to tell.

Another week passed and the patient returned with his girlfriend for a second look. This time the swelling had subsided and the doctor was certain that his patient would be pleased with the new look this time around.

Looking into the mirror, the man once again expressed his anger intensely.  At this point, the man's girlfriend gestured to the bewildered doctor to come into the hallway for a private conversation.  Once they were alone, the surgeon immediately turned to her for an explanation.  "Well" she said, "for years and years he's been struggling to make it as an actor with very little to show for his efforts. He goes on audition after audition, but almost never gets the part.  All this time he's been blaming his lack of success on his nose.  But the truth is that his acting ability is really very average."

The doctor understood at once when realizing that the patient had never expressly requested that his nose be altered.  He understood the man's profound upset at having had his mental crutch taken away from him. No longer could he place responsibility outside of himself.  No more would he be able to rely upon the convenience of blame for his unhappiness.

When I heard this story, I knew it would serve at the poignant foundation for an essay about cause and effect. Because the truth is that there are countless realities in which you may decide to live. But, in the end, those realities basically fall in one of two camps.

The first camp is that of EFFECT.  When you live in that camp, life is a never ending roller coaster with someone else at the controls.  When you live at the effect of external forces, it becomes difficult to escape the role of victim. The victim believes that their circumstances define and limit their lives and when the world is forever doing things TO YOU, the realm of possibility all but ceases to exist.

And yet, there is another way.  You see, we all possess free will and the ability to pack our mental, physical, and spiritual valuables and move them with greater purpose into a different reality.  And that is the camp called CAUSE.

'To cause' means to produce an effect and to live by that principle is paramount to claiming your rightful success. Choosing 'cause' is creating results for you and because of you.  Indeed, triumph depends upon absolute responsibility. And responsibility is an ability. It's the ability to respond to your own needs, your own path, your unique qualities, and that tiny inner knowing that guides on your journey to lasting success.

In the words of St. Francis of Assisi:

"Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

Here's my seven-day challenge for you:

Take an honest look at your life and identify any crutches that you may have come to rely on.  Crutches take countless forms such as lack of time and energy, bad relationships and meaningless jobs. Set your crutches aside, or better yet, ditch them for good with the full knowledge that countless humans have stood mightily in the face of far greater adversity than anything that you or I will ever know.  And as you step towards the unknown and into the great void in which all possibility resides, know with absolute certainty that at the moment you say "YES!" to your life that then, and only then, will your life say yes back to you.

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you an untouchable?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Direct download: Do_You_Have_A_Success_Handicap.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 9:41 PM
Comments[0]
Wed, 9 May 2007
Success Coaching: Are You Sick & Tired of Feeling Sick & Tired?

Are You Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired?

Welcome back!

One of the things that makes coaching really wonderful is the amazing variation of both clients and coaches.  Each client brings their unique history and characteristics to the relationship which makes the coaching process truly dynamic.  By the same token, each coach has their own perspective based on their individual experience and expertise.

One of the elements that I bring to coaching is my skill as a Wise Woman herbalist.  While I'm not in the practice of treating ailments, I absolutely do bring my own understanding of the healing arts into play when coaching.  Knowing that will help you better understand our topic today which answers the question "Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?"

It's no surprise that your energy level has everything to do with success.  Being energetic means having the capacity to undertake the actions necessary to reaching your goals.  My experience has made me acutely aware of how many of you have a real lack of energy on any given day.

One of the definitions of prosperity is to be thriving.  And when all is said and done, can you truly be successful without also being vital and strong? Vitality is the capacity to live, grow and develop. If you're in a day-to-day struggle with simply living, then securing your vitality will be essential to your future progress and growth.  In other words, now is the time to redirect ALL of your energy into a commitment to your health and wellness.

While that may include postponing what you'd hoped to achieve, it's unlikely that you would be able to produce the results you want if your current energy level is low. In the end, even your ability to enjoy what you've accomplished will be directly influenced by your vitality. Your singular focus on this goal is the one thing to which you must commit yourself fully if any of your dreams are ever to come to fruition.

Guess what? Vitality is a choice! No, you can't pick and choose the germs that come your way but you absolutely can choose to prepare yourself for the eventual challenges to your health. This critical step may be the hardest for you to take if you've never developed a habit of making your own needs a priority. Vitality is the reward for choosing yourself again and again in the face of everything else. Life never stops demanding of you so, in order to meet those demands, you must learn how to be self-nurturing in order to claim the prosperity that's rightfully yours. All the medical advice in the world won't help if youre not first dedicated to your own well being.


I can hear you asking: "You want me to put myself first? What about all of my commitments?" My response is, yes what about them? Only when you first honor your obligation to yourself, will you have the fortitude to honor what you are dedicated to.  So many of us have it totally backwards.  We go about life thinking we're obligated to all the things outside of ourselves when the truth is that you're fundamentally responsible FOR and obligated TO your SELF. 

In other words, you are at the center of your own private universe.  You are the sun and if your sun shines brightly, every one that depends on you will benefit.  Conversely, by not honoring or choosing to meet your basic need for wellness, you'll repeatedly compromise your own physical integrity to the detriment of everything orbiting about your sun. So... if you've ever needed permission to give to yourself, I hope you now feel that you have it!


If you're ready to take charge of your health, it would be wise to do so consistently and incrementally. Radical changes are too difficult to maintain but new habits can be forged with repetition over time. Forget resolving to change because 72% of resolutions fail.  Simply set an intention in writing to yourself, knowing that you're human and that rigid adherence to rules will only serve to set yourself up for failure. 

There are simple methods you can use to recharge your basic energy levels. Start by picturing what being truly healthy looks like. To me, vibrant health is like a bouquet of gorgeous flowers that command the attention of anyone in their midst. I like the idea of modeling myself after that which perfumes the air with beauty and energy.


If you'd like to express the qualities of a flower in bloom, start by thinking like one. Ask yourself  "If I were a flower, what would I need?" The answer is simple:. sunlight, water, air, and food or, in terms of the four elements, fire, water, wind and Earth. These are what I call Elemental Energies and they're as critical to your survival as they are to a flower in the garden. Botanists know that there's very little that distinguishes the animal kingdom, which includes humans, from the plant kingdom.

In fact, the only cell that separate humans from flowers is something called a chloroplast. A chloroplast is an organelle that allows plants to collect sunlight through photosynthesis and to store that energy in the form of carbohydrates. Because you lack that ability, you're dependent upon the food energy found in what you eat. Once you understand that basic principal, it�s easy to see why a diet of processed food has little to offer in the way of replenishing the energy your body requires. As you can see, spending your life inside of cars and buildings deprives you of the elemental energies your body depends on.

As singer and songwriter Janis Joplin once said "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." 

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:
Today you have a choice: to re-energize yourself and then your dreams and goals. I recommend that you do that at least once, but preferably three times a day, by setting an intention to eat life-giving foods.  Because food naturally contains all four Elemental Energies, what you eat represents the single biggest impact you can have on your overall health, not to mention the health of entire ecosystems! If you approach your relationship with food as you would a romantic relationship, you'll find that the comfort foods that bring immediate pleasure just don't make for lasting love. Wouldn't you rather have a long-term liaison with what serves you day after day? You can do that by selecting those foods that are colorful, fresh and bursting with the energy that hasn't been lost through processing. Begin by eating locally grown, organic foods just once a day and you'll start to notice that you feel recharged by the abundant power in Earth's endless rainbow of colors and flavors. Like all of life, this is a process of learning to receive the gifts being offered; the more you need, the more you need to practice receiving the bounty that is always available to those with the courage to ask for it.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you have a success handicap?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

Direct download: Are_You_Sick_and_Tired.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 9:18 PM
Comments[0]
Wed, 2 May 2007
Success Coaching: Are Your Dreams Living or Dying?

Welcome back!

This week's topic asks "Are your dreams living or dying?" My question is about recognizing that while you go about living your life that your dreams may feel as though they're dying in the process. So, what can you do to give your dreams the life-giving energy they require if they are ever to become a reality?

Well, if you're like most people, you may already be running full speed ahead and the thought of doing more in hopes of reaching your goal only lends itself to your sense of overwhelm. That scenario is typical of the cycle of negative thinking that's common with coaching clients.

Such cycles begin with a feeling of OVERWHELM which is a symptom of scarcity consciousness that expresses itself as "I cannot do enough, be enough, or accomplish enough". The busyness of life perpetuates the belief that, when you have satisfied others and when you have completed your endless incompletions, that your energy and focus will be redirected toward your dreams. It begins with recognizing that that is not so, and never will be.

If what I'm describing to you rings a bell, it suggests that you have a significant chance to prevent discouragement from turning into the hopelessness related to our growing epidemic of depression. This is an opportunity you definitely do NOT want to miss. Feeling hopeless is just that, a feeling based on your interpretation of circumstances. It's not to say that HOPE doesn't exist for you, but only that your awareness is out of alignment with what's actually possible for your life.

In fact, optimism is a perspective which is critical to keep in mind once you understand that your dreams will either live or die by your own choosing. So, why choose hopelessness when it has such grave consequences?

A study by the American Heart Association shows the direct effects of psychological well-being on our bodies. It identifies hopelessness as 'a strong, independent predictor of cardiovascular disease morbidity and mortality in American populations'. Heart disease, as you know, is a leading cause of death in the U.S. Having said that, you can see that keeping your dreams alive may indeed keep YOU alive! 

So, you ask, what medicine will cure the dying dream? Imagination of course! It's time to return to envisioning your future. Dreams have been described as Sleeping Visions. But dreaming is best accomplished not in a passive way, as while sleeping, but in an active and proactive fashion.  It's what I call Dynamic Dreaming.

So, let's do some dynamic dreaming right here and now by taking the following 7-day challenge quiz:

1. Where have your dreams gone?
Begin by considering the distinction between vacancy and dormancy. That dreams die altogether is an illusion. In other words, you may have allowed them to fade into the invisible realm yet there remain countless opportunities to re-vive your dreams by breathing them back to life. Breathing life into anything is the definition of inspiration. It's a matter of identifying and incorporating those inspirational sources, such a people, books, poetry and art, that literally energize you and your dreams.

2. How have you been willing to compromise your dreams?
What priorities have you been living by? And how have those priorities served you? When answering these questions, it may be helpful to hold your wish list against a list of what you deeply value and notice if there are any apparent contradictions.

3. What dream do you now choose to resurrect?
Start with a single dream. If you're unclear, think first about what you presently desire as old dreams may no longer be valid in your current life. Make certain these dreams originate from you, and not from others whom you wish to please.

4. Where does your desire come from?
Understanding the origin of your aspirations will provide you a stronger grasp of how to bring them to fruition. In truth, it's about getting really intimate with what you desire in a way that forms a never-ending relationship between you and the future experiences you long for. The origins of the word desire (to long for or wish for) are inspiring all by themselves. They point to an 11th century Latin phrase meaning 'to await what the stars will bring'. What a beautiful image to hold as you look skyward and reconnect with what longs to be alive in you.

5. Will you let yourself DESIRE again?
Desire is the quiet song of hope that never completely fades. It's an underlying yet powerful force that motivates you day after day, even when your actions don't answer that desire directly. It's that sound you hear at night, lying in the dark; the voice that, when ignored, begins to hassle and haunt you to take action towards conceiving and eventually birthing what will never be if you don't first choose to it to be.

In the words of former U.S. president Theodore Roosevelt:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat."

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Direct download: Are_Your_Dreams_Living_or_Dying.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 8:26 PM
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"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean."

So, my 7-day challenge to you is to let go of the judgments that define and confine you.  Let go and see what happens.  Discover what lives beyond right and wrong.  Embrace the mystery, the not knowing and be in the exquisite company of possibility.  When you choose the paradigm of what's possible, you step into the realm from which the impossible becomes reality.  It's your pure creative essence, it's magic and it's rightfully yours for the asking.

Please join me next time when we explore the question:

"Are you vulnerable to success?"

 Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

Direct download: Do_You_Have_To_Be_Right.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 1:46 AM
Comments[0]
Thu, 24 May 2007
Success Coaching: Are You An Untouchable?

Welcome back!

I'd like to invite you to join me for the next few minutes as we explore what it means to be an untouchable in modern times. More importantly, I'll be asking you to connect our discoveries to your own self and success. 

The term 'untouchable' refers to members of the lowest social class in India. This classification of social hierarchy is known as the caste system.  Within the Hindu tradition, it's believed that if members of the higher social classes come in to physical contact with the Untouchables, that they're rendered impure.  In fact, the two classes don't actually have to touch each other because it's thought that even treading upon the shadow of an untouchable achieves the same outcome.

Within our culture, the caste system appears to be outdated at best and absurd by modern standards.  And yet, what's truly fascinating about the antiquated notion of being untouchable is that it survives to this day. More amazing still is that even while Western civilization rejects the caste system, it maintains its own concept of social stratification.

Think about it.  Doesn't our culture perpetuate those labels which distinguish one from the other: Rich or poor, have or have not, winner or loser? And, of course, it goes without saying that this kind of polarity exists well beyond the words you use to describe it. In that regard, language holds the power to create and maintain social division based, for the most part, upon the mere evidence you use to evaluate those who you deem "successful" from those who aren't. 

It comes then as no surprise that your basic human need to belong would drive you, even unwittingly, towards a public statement of self-worth through material, intellectual, and social avenues. It's about saying "I matter" by way of what you have, what you do, and who you are. You see belonging is not a desire but a need because interdependence is critical to your survival.  And, in the end, surviving is succeeding. Human history is fraught with the countless and silent stories of those who failed to belong.  That's what it means to be an outcast.

An outcast is a person who's stigmatized or otherwise denied the benefits of a culture, usually for being perceived as being outside the social norms of that culture.  Here's the point, if you're going to survive and perhaps even thrive, it will depend upon your ability to find and secure true acceptance.

Are you ready for the take away?  You don't GET acceptance from others, you GIVE it to yourself.  You learn how to recognize those parts of you that you've labeled as untouchable.  You begin with an intention for clear seeing and proceed to undress the persona you've constructed and speak to the bare truth of you.  It's about the unglamorous, undesirable and unspoken facets of your life that you label and reject; effectively casting out what has failed to bear fruit or to provide you with the necessary sweetness you seek.

This process is initiated by recognizing that words not only hold the power to polarize, but also hold the power to unify.  Language, and the intention it represents, is most important at the internal level.  That's to say that the words you speak to yourself contain the all-mighty capacity for communing with the unseen self in the most profound and impactful way possible. That describes the very essence of communication. And when you're communing with your true nature, you forge a relationship with those formerly stigmatized parts of you. When you connect within, you no longer deny yourself the benefits that once existed beyond your grasp.

My gift to you is about illuminating the often hidden paths within your self; those that reveal your secrets to success. And, in order for that to happen, you must first choose to make contact with your WHOLE being. No longer can you separate what's beautiful from what is not, after committing to being complete and having complete success. That is what it means to live divinely and THAT is what I wish for you.

As inspirational author Mike Dooley once wrote:

"To give beyond reason. To care beyond hope. To love without limit. To reach, stretch, and dream in spite of your fears. These are the hallmarks of divinity - traits of the immortal - your badges of honor, and your ticket home."

To learn more about Mike's work visit www.tut.com

Here's my seven-day challenge for you:

Learn how to touch success completely and how to let it touch you; entirely, gently, repeatedly, satisfyingly and absolutely!  To do that means not hiding, not fearing or withholding any part of yourself that you have failed to accept.  Seize your rightful authority to bless the bitter and the sweet in everything, for that will provide you with much-needed balance and the grounded foundation upon which to reach out and take in more tenderness, more beauty, more JOY.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you have to be right?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Direct download: Are_You_An_Untouchable.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 4:14 PM
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Wed, 16 May 2007
Success Coaching: Do You Have A Success Handicap?

Welcome back!

This week's episode answers the question "Do you have a success handicap?" I can just hear you saying "What?  What does she mean by success handicap?" In this case, handicap is defined as: A mental disadvantage that when imposed, makes progress difficult.

Here's a little story that beautifully illustrates my point. A while back I was listening to a public radio segment about the remarkable increase in men, women, and even teens who are seeking plastic surgery as a means to self-improvement.

The segment host had assembled a panel of plastic surgeons who told shocking tales of countless clients requesting absolutely unnecessary cosmetic procedures.  The most memorable story went like this...

A middle-aged man came to a particular plastic surgeon in order to improve his looks. Upon examination, the doctor took notice of a pronounced bump protruding from the ridge of the man's nose and felt at once that a surgical procedure would definitely remedy the patient's displeasure with his appearance.

The doctor and patient scheduled the surgery soon after their initial consultation.  A few days after the procedure was completed, the man returned to his doctor to have a first look at the results. The man and his girlfriend arrived at the doctor's office with much anticipation.

The doctor proceeded to carefully remove the bandages from around the man's face.  Quite pleased with the outcome, the doctor handed the patient a mirror with which to admire the results. Upon seeing his nose for the first time, the man erupted in an angry outburst. Confused and alarmed, the surgeon quickly re-bandaged the man's face and told him that perhaps it was too soon to tell.

Another week passed and the patient returned with his girlfriend for a second look. This time the swelling had subsided and the doctor was certain that his patient would be pleased with the new look this time around.

Looking into the mirror, the man once again expressed his anger intensely.  At this point, the man's girlfriend gestured to the bewildered doctor to come into the hallway for a private conversation.  Once they were alone, the surgeon immediately turned to her for an explanation.  "Well" she said, "for years and years he's been struggling to make it as an actor with very little to show for his efforts. He goes on audition after audition, but almost never gets the part.  All this time he's been blaming his lack of success on his nose.  But the truth is that his acting ability is really very average."

The doctor understood at once when realizing that the patient had never expressly requested that his nose be altered.  He understood the man's profound upset at having had his mental crutch taken away from him. No longer could he place responsibility outside of himself.  No more would he be able to rely upon the convenience of blame for his unhappiness.

When I heard this story, I knew it would serve at the poignant foundation for an essay about cause and effect. Because the truth is that there are countless realities in which you may decide to live. But, in the end, those realities basically fall in one of two camps.

The first camp is that of EFFECT.  When you live in that camp, life is a never ending roller coaster with someone else at the controls.  When you live at the effect of external forces, it becomes difficult to escape the role of victim. The victim believes that their circumstances define and limit their lives and when the world is forever doing things TO YOU, the realm of possibility all but ceases to exist.

And yet, there is another way.  You see, we all possess free will and the ability to pack our mental, physical, and spiritual valuables and move them with greater purpose into a different reality.  And that is the camp called CAUSE.

'To cause' means to produce an effect and to live by that principle is paramount to claiming your rightful success. Choosing 'cause' is creating results for you and because of you.  Indeed, triumph depends upon absolute responsibility. And responsibility is an ability. It's the ability to respond to your own needs, your own path, your unique qualities, and that tiny inner knowing that guides on your journey to lasting success.

In the words of St. Francis of Assisi:

"Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

Here's my seven-day challenge for you:

Take an honest look at your life and identify any crutches that you may have come to rely on.  Crutches take countless forms such as lack of time and energy, bad relationships and meaningless jobs. Set your crutches aside, or better yet, ditch them for good with the full knowledge that countless humans have stood mightily in the face of far greater adversity than anything that you or I will ever know.  And as you step towards the unknown and into the great void in which all possibility resides, know with absolute certainty that at the moment you say "YES!" to your life that then, and only then, will your life say yes back to you.

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you an untouchable?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Direct download: Do_You_Have_A_Success_Handicap.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 9:41 PM
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Wed, 9 May 2007
Success Coaching: Are You Sick & Tired of Feeling Sick & Tired?

Are You Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired?

Welcome back!

One of the things that makes coaching really wonderful is the amazing variation of both clients and coaches.  Each client brings their unique history and characteristics to the relationship which makes the coaching process truly dynamic.  By the same token, each coach has their own perspective based on their individual experience and expertise.

One of the elements that I bring to coaching is my skill as a Wise Woman herbalist.  While I'm not in the practice of treating ailments, I absolutely do bring my own understanding of the healing arts into play when coaching.  Knowing that will help you better understand our topic today which answers the question "Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?"

It's no surprise that your energy level has everything to do with success.  Being energetic means having the capacity to undertake the actions necessary to reaching your goals.  My experience has made me acutely aware of how many of you have a real lack of energy on any given day.

One of the definitions of prosperity is to be thriving.  And when all is said and done, can you truly be successful without also being vital and strong? Vitality is the capacity to live, grow and develop. If you're in a day-to-day struggle with simply living, then securing your vitality will be essential to your future progress and growth.  In other words, now is the time to redirect ALL of your energy into a commitment to your health and wellness.

While that may include postponing what you'd hoped to achieve, it's unlikely that you would be able to produce the results you want if your current energy level is low. In the end, even your ability to enjoy what you've accomplished will be directly influenced by your vitality. Your singular focus on this goal is the one thing to which you must commit yourself fully if any of your dreams are ever to come to fruition.

Guess what? Vitality is a choice! No, you can't pick and choose the germs that come your way but you absolutely can choose to prepare yourself for the eventual challenges to your health. This critical step may be the hardest for you to take if you've never developed a habit of making your own needs a priority. Vitality is the reward for choosing yourself again and again in the face of everything else. Life never stops demanding of you so, in order to meet those demands, you must learn how to be self-nurturing in order to claim the prosperity that's rightfully yours. All the medical advice in the world won't help if youre not first dedicated to your own well being.


I can hear you asking: "You want me to put myself first? What about all of my commitments?" My response is, yes what about them? Only when you first honor your obligation to yourself, will you have the fortitude to honor what you are dedicated to.  So many of us have it totally backwards.  We go about life thinking we're obligated to all the things outside of ourselves when the truth is that you're fundamentally responsible FOR and obligated TO your SELF. 

In other words, you are at the center of your own private universe.  You are the sun and if your sun shines brightly, every one that depends on you will benefit.  Conversely, by not honoring or choosing to meet your basic need for wellness, you'll repeatedly compromise your own physical integrity to the detriment of everything orbiting about your sun. So... if you've ever needed permission to give to yourself, I hope you now feel that you have it!


If you're ready to take charge of your health, it would be wise to do so consistently and incrementally. Radical changes are too difficult to maintain but new habits can be forged with repetition over time. Forget resolving to change because 72% of resolutions fail.  Simply set an intention in writing to yourself, knowing that you're human and that rigid adherence to rules will only serve to set yourself up for failure. 

There are simple methods you can use to recharge your basic energy levels. Start by picturing what being truly healthy looks like. To me, vibrant health is like a bouquet of gorgeous flowers that command the attention of anyone in their midst. I like the idea of modeling myself after that which perfumes the air with beauty and energy.


If you'd like to express the qualities of a flower in bloom, start by thinking like one. Ask yourself  "If I were a flower, what would I need?" The answer is simple:. sunlight, water, air, and food or, in terms of the four elements, fire, water, wind and Earth. These are what I call Elemental Energies and they're as critical to your survival as they are to a flower in the garden. Botanists know that there's very little that distinguishes the animal kingdom, which includes humans, from the plant kingdom.

In fact, the only cell that separate humans from flowers is something called a chloroplast. A chloroplast is an organelle that allows plants to collect sunlight through photosynthesis and to store that energy in the form of carbohydrates. Because you lack that ability, you're dependent upon the food energy found in what you eat. Once you understand that basic principal, it�s easy to see why a diet of processed food has little to offer in the way of replenishing the energy your body requires. As you can see, spending your life inside of cars and buildings deprives you of the elemental energies your body depends on.

As singer and songwriter Janis Joplin once said "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." 

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:
Today you have a choice: to re-energize yourself and then your dreams and goals. I recommend that you do that at least once, but preferably three times a day, by setting an intention to eat life-giving foods.  Because food naturally contains all four Elemental Energies, what you eat represents the single biggest impact you can have on your overall health, not to mention the health of entire ecosystems! If you approach your relationship with food as you would a romantic relationship, you'll find that the comfort foods that bring immediate pleasure just don't make for lasting love. Wouldn't you rather have a long-term liaison with what serves you day after day? You can do that by selecting those foods that are colorful, fresh and bursting with the energy that hasn't been lost through processing. Begin by eating locally grown, organic foods just once a day and you'll start to notice that you feel recharged by the abundant power in Earth's endless rainbow of colors and flavors. Like all of life, this is a process of learning to receive the gifts being offered; the more you need, the more you need to practice receiving the bounty that is always available to those with the courage to ask for it.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you have a success handicap?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

Direct download: Are_You_Sick_and_Tired.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 9:18 PM
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Wed, 2 May 2007
Success Coaching: Are Your Dreams Living or Dying?

Welcome back!

This week's topic asks "Are your dreams living or dying?" My question is about recognizing that while you go about living your life that your dreams may feel as though they're dying in the process. So, what can you do to give your dreams the life-giving energy they require if they are ever to become a reality?

Well, if you're like most people, you may already be running full speed ahead and the thought of doing more in hopes of reaching your goal only lends itself to your sense of overwhelm. That scenario is typical of the cycle of negative thinking that's common with coaching clients.

Such cycles begin with a feeling of OVERWHELM which is a symptom of scarcity consciousness that expresses itself as "I cannot do enough, be enough, or accomplish enough". The busyness of life perpetuates the belief that, when you have satisfied others and when you have completed your endless incompletions, that your energy and focus will be redirected toward your dreams. It begins with recognizing that that is not so, and never will be.

If what I'm describing to you rings a bell, it suggests that you have a significant chance to prevent discouragement from turning into the hopelessness related to our growing epidemic of depression. This is an opportunity you definitely do NOT want to miss. Feeling hopeless is just that, a feeling based on your interpretation of circumstances. It's not to say that HOPE doesn't exist for you, but only that your awareness is out of alignment with what's actually possible for your life.

In fact, optimism is a perspective which is critical to keep in mind once you understand that your dreams will either live or die by your own choosing. So, why choose hopelessness when it has such grave consequences?

A study by the American Heart Association shows the direct effects of psychological well-being on our bodies. It identifies hopelessness as 'a strong, independent predictor of cardiovascular disease morbidity and mortality in American populations'. Heart disease, as you know, is a leading cause of death in the U.S. Having said that, you can see that keeping your dreams alive may indeed keep YOU alive! 

So, you ask, what medicine will cure the dying dream? Imagination of course! It's time to return to envisioning your future. Dreams have been described as Sleeping Visions. But dreaming is best accomplished not in a passive way, as while sleeping, but in an active and proactive fashion.  It's what I call Dynamic Dreaming.

So, let's do some dynamic dreaming right here and now by taking the following 7-day challenge quiz:

1. Where have your dreams gone?
Begin by considering the distinction between vacancy and dormancy. That dreams die altogether is an illusion. In other words, you may have allowed them to fade into the invisible realm yet there remain countless opportunities to re-vive your dreams by breathing them back to life. Breathing life into anything is the definition of inspiration. It's a matter of identifying and incorporating those inspirational sources, such a people, books, poetry and art, that literally energize you and your dreams.

2. How have you been willing to compromise your dreams?
What priorities have you been living by? And how have those priorities served you? When answering these questions, it may be helpful to hold your wish list against a list of what you deeply value and notice if there are any apparent contradictions.

3. What dream do you now choose to resurrect?
Start with a single dream. If you're unclear, think first about what you presently desire as old dreams may no longer be valid in your current life. Make certain these dreams originate from you, and not from others whom you wish to please.

4. Where does your desire come from?
Understanding the origin of your aspirations will provide you a stronger grasp of how to bring them to fruition. In truth, it's about getting really intimate with what you desire in a way that forms a never-ending relationship between you and the future experiences you long for. The origins of the word desire (to long for or wish for) are inspiring all by themselves. They point to an 11th century Latin phrase meaning 'to await what the stars will bring'. What a beautiful image to hold as you look skyward and reconnect with what longs to be alive in you.

5. Will you let yourself DESIRE again?
Desire is the quiet song of hope that never completely fades. It's an underlying yet powerful force that motivates you day after day, even when your actions don't answer that desire directly. It's that sound you hear at night, lying in the dark; the voice that, when ignored, begins to hassle and haunt you to take action towards conceiving and eventually birthing what will never be if you don't first choose to it to be.

In the words of former U.S. president Theodore Roosevelt:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat."

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Direct download: Are_Your_Dreams_Living_or_Dying.mp3
Category: podcasts -- posted at: 8:26 PM
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