Wed, 24 January 2007  Are You A Perfectionist?
Welcome back! I'm guessing that the theme of this episode will strike a chord with many of you. The question is... Are you a perfectionist? The best way for me to address that is what a confession. Yes, I'm a recovering perfectionist. The wish to be perfect, or at least to appear perfect, is a lifelong affliction as far as I can tell.
My earliest recollections of wanting things in my life to be exactly right go back to grade school. I can remember rewriting an entire page of homework if I made even a single mistake. Why did I do that? I think my drive towards getting everything just so was an attempt to get my father's attention by being the best I could. I was one of five children, and after my parents' divorce, I went to live with my mother. Having any significant time with my dad became very difficult by the age of five. And having his undivided attention was virtually impossible. But I set my sights on getting what I couldn't have in some respects. My father loved me absolutely and yet he was supporting at least seven of us and running a fledgling business at the same time.
Trying to be the "good girl" was a role I unwittingly played into adulthood. In a way, my desire to conform to what I thought he wanted me to be was actually an attempt to control what was essentially beyond my control. And you bet that I carried that behavior on into my other relationships; especially with men. I became who I guessed they wanted me to be and all the pretense only served to delay discovering who I really was.
If you share this affliction, then deep down you know how fruitless the pursuit of perfection really is. Because in truth, perfection is an ideal conceived by the mind, that never manifests itself in reality. It is in fact an illusion that's kept alive in our airbrushed and Photoshopped media.
Illusion refers to deceptive appearance and if you struggle with wanting the perfect body, the perfect lover, or the perfect job, then you're simply perpetuating what is false. In actuality, life is never perfect because life is alive. It's a process rather than a destination. It's a verb not a noun. In other words, I want to dispel the old adage that practice makes perfect. I hereby free you from the prison of perfection by giving you the keys to what's real, to what can be achieved... and that's your potential.
The formula to realize your deepest capacity is simple. You begin with a purpose to which you add practice. Passionate practice gives way to proximity to the YOU you've always wanted to be. There is no perfection, just proximity, just nearness, just real intimacy and acknowledgment of the potential you have only to express. So hang a note to remind yourself... purpose leads to practice that leads to proximity that leads to realizing your potential.
If you still find yourself confronting perfectionism, here's a process that may help: Begin with the decision to stop deceiving yourself and others into believing you're something you're not. Your decision is followed by surrendering the false belief that being perfect is real and instead choosing to BE real yourself.
Only then will you come to understand that people love you as you are. That's when you can begin receiving the love you want beyond the obligation of faultlessness. When the fantasy has been wiped from your eyes, and you consciously choose to stop the pretense of perfection, you extend a compassionate hand to your authentic self. Caring for that person permits others to do the same. Acknowledging the truth of your inherent value then liberates others to finally see and finally love the genuine you beneath a lonely veil.
It was once said: Do what you want to do... But want to do what you are doing. Be what you want to be... But want to be what you are.
As of this broadcast, I'm stepping up the frequency to weekly episodes which will be posted each Wednesday to give you a little midweek inspiration. As with my last podcast, I'll be encouraging you to take important action steps in the form of a seven-day challenge.
This week's challenge is to commit yourself to seven days of authentic communication. Say what's so, but speak the truth with compassion, particularly towards yourself. Keep a record of any communication in which speaking honestly creates upset for you. It's the difficult conversations that require further exploration because beneath the tension lay precious gems simply trying to break free.
Please join me next time as I ask the question "Who are you?"
Until then, I leave you with abundant peace. Comments[0] |
Tue, 16 January 2007 Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed my last episode on unleashing creativity. The guided meditation it offers is a great way to begin inventing your future. As you move toward your intentions for the year ahead, I think it's essential to first take an objective look at just where you've set your sights. And doing that brings me to our question: "Are you putting the emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle?" What I'm suggesting is that there's an alternate but effective way to get from point A to point B in the shortest time possible. However, if you've got your priorities mixed up, the technique I'm about to share with you may have slipped under your radar altogether. I'm guessing you're a lot like me... You want what you want and you want it now! If that's true, this podcast is going to give you a whole new way to have your cake and eat it too. And that's the perfect segue into my next question: "What do you truly want from life?"
As a Prosperity Coach, those who ask what kind of work I'm in falsely assume that my job is to help people get rich. If you've been following this podcast, you know by now that money is only one dimension of true wealth. The point is that where you put your emphasis makes all the difference in the world. Emphasis is the importance you attach to something; something like becoming a millionaire.
For simplicity's sake, let's assume that that IS your goal. Take a second to imagine what having a million dollars might look like. Perhaps your picture includes: -- a beautiful home -- leisure time -- social status or better relationships -- or the wherewithal to make a contribution to society
Any of those ring a bell? I'd like you to consider the following: that none of those outcomes is dependent on getting rich. It's true! The only difference that wealth makes in any of those scenarios is the scale on which you experience them. Here's an example to illustrate my point. Let's say you're driving around in an old car. It's got some dents, the stereo is broken and the fan belt squeaks, but it gets you where you want to go. One day, you trade it in and lease yourself a nice set of wheels that makes you feel more confident, more successful and, perhaps without admitting it, it makes you a little sexier too. Yeah, this car is good for your image so you drive it around for a while until suddenly you lose your job. Living paycheck to paycheck, you're forced to take it back and downgrade to a less expensive car.
The reality is that having something you judge as being inferior has no bearing on your value to the world... unless you say so. The latest fashions, a bigger house, a richer spouse... none of those things really make a difference if, when they goes away, your pride and identity go along with them. Do you use life's luxuries as evidence to prove something to yourself? Do your possessions have the distorted power to affirm your worth or do you acquire them so you can give yourself permission to experience more of life?
So, let me ask you again. What do you REALLY want? What are the pleasurable feelings you associate with having that possession or social standing? Do you need an estate with a garden and a nice tree to hang your hammock in? Or could you simply allow yourself to sleep in the shade at a local park when your body calls for rest?
Do you need the degree to get the job to make the money to buy the tools to remodel the kitchen to house the fridge that keeps the food? Or could you, just for once, feed your soul what it really needs; learning at last to open the invitation to the long-awaited feast of self-consent you've hungered for in vain?
Yes, to nourish your best self in the most essential way is to choose yourself right now! It means to give yourself the permission only YOU can grant. It requires cutting out all of the unnecessary steps between who you think you are and who you would allow yourself to be once you've finally met all of your conditions.
In the words of Sid Caesar "In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed."
Starting with this episode, I'm going to be inviting you to a 10-day challenge in order to support your prosperity practice. Here's what I'd like you to do:
On a blank sheet of paper, list your starting position at the top (where your life is at now). In the middle, write down your intended goal then fill in steps between where you are and where you'd like to end up. At the bottom, describe how you imagine you'll feel upon reaching your destination.
The point of this exercise is to identify how it is that you can produce the desirable feelings you've associated with your goal without ever reaching that goal in the first place. I hope you find this challenge to be a valuable exercise to having just what you need, right when we need it.
Please join me next time as I asked the question "Are you a perfectionist?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace. Comments[0] |
Sat, 6 January 2007 Welcome back! I'd like to begin this episode by wishing you a wonderful new year; one that I know holds great promise and possibility. New Year is a powerful opportunity to turn inward and reflect upon what's come about in the last year and what dimension of your potential remains in the unseen.
Rather than creating resolutions for yourself, I'd like to suggest that you set a personal and private intention instead. Why? Because resolutions are formal, public declarations about what you've decided to accomplish. Resolutions can be rigid when it comes to reaching a specific goal or not. I'm guessing that you don't need a club to beat yourself up with, if and when you fall short of your ideal. More importantly, resolutions often involve feelings of vulnerability that come from declaring your pledge to others. That aspect alone may make you hesitate to create resolutions in the first place.
So, what's the difference between a resolution and an intention? Intention means 'to have purpose, to be eager or attentively occupied'. I believe that intentions are more fluid than resolutions, and can better accommodate the changing dynamics of your life. Intentions can expand and evolve along with you.
This topic is one I've been very interested in over the years, so I wrote a book that takes an in-depth look at why resolutions so often fail. The book is called 'The Four Most Important Words To Success: Even If You Never Say Them Out Loud' and I'll be giving it a way to a few lucky listeners at the end of this podcast as my personal gift. So keep listening for details on how to receive my book absolutely free.
In my last episode, I told you I'd have a surprise in store to unleash your creativity. The surprise will mean a departure away from my normal question and answer format which I hope you'll enjoy. So let's get started on unleashing YOUR creativity...
Creativity is an essential element to transforming the life it you just live into a life you just love. Creativity is not a thing that you either have or don't have. Rather, it's a capacity; an innate skill that requires frequent use if it's to gain strength.
One technique for tapping into your creativity is to access the power of imagination. You can best imagine by taking a short recess from reality. We'll do that by way of a guided meditation I've prepared for you just ahead. First, if you've never meditated before, I want to mention a couple of things. Meditation isn't difficult or scary. It simply means 'to engage in contemplation' or 'to plan mentally'. And that's just what you are invited to do; plan the life you truly deserve to live.
So, without further ado, I recommend that you find a quiet place to relax away from all distractions. Get into a comfortable spot and close your eyes. A few deep breaths may help you relax as we begin.
I invite you to close your eyes and to open your heart; to take a deep breath of possibility and to allow any doubt or anxiety to dissipate slowly, silently, steadily. And as you inhale, I'd like you to imagine oxygen penetrating deep within you, down to the depths of darkness in which a seed of hope lays dormant. This breath, and every one that follows, will cause this seed to glow as an ember glows, to grow as a seedling grows and to awaken the creative potential within you.
Behold the seed as it swells and ruptures. Take a moment and give this new life a name. Give it the name you've been wanting and waiting for it to have. And breathe. Breathe in the air that causes your seedling to unfurl with force and delight. You are its source of inspiration. You are choosing to provide a home and to give nourishment to what is now alive inside of you. You're feeding this small form with intention; watching the roots develop and take hold; seeing the ways in which the energy surrounding and filling you now cause the leaves to open, to reach and twist and become more.
Imagine for a moment your favorite flower and notice how this embryonic creation transforms itself into that flower. Envision its exquisite beauty and how that beauty radiates from within and beyond the physical body. See the blossom open gently and breathe. Smell the fragrance of life surrounding you now, flooding the room of your being with a delicate perfume. Hear the breeze as it blows softly by, safely carrying this scent into the broader experience of your life. Its sweetness calls to the determined bees that will pollinate this flower and carry your message to the realm of creativity inhabited by this new emerging life.
And now enter the birds to feast upon the countless new seeds birthed by your ONE; to scatter the fullness and wholeness of YOU from the soft blue skies. It's a thing of beauty to see still more expressions of you set wild roots amid the garden of humanity; trusting that all you need to do is breathe, believe and begin.
Breathe, believe and begin is the process of living the sacred self and is a matter of your choosing, at all times, in all matters of concern. For when you make this choice once and again, you're consciously aligning your intention with that of creative energy. And when you're engaged in marriage to the power of creation, you're wed to the infinite life force behind every manifestation, great and small.
This knowing is an expression of the divine within you, as you. It is celebration, it is providence, it is ALL. And to return at any moment to the sacred experience of your unlimited creativity, simply close your eyes and breathe.
When you're ready, slowly open your eyes and return to what's around you. I hope you'll take a few minutes to make a permanent record, either in your mind or on paper, of what you've experienced. What images did you see? What invisible facet of yourself became visible in this process? Everything that appeared in your internal field of vision is the collective fruit of your creativity at work. And that's available to you any time you choose to activate that part of your intelligence. My wish is that the images that came to you in meditation will form a foundation for the private intention you set for the coming year.
And, of course, I'd love to hear about your experience and to have you share this meditation on unleashing creativity with others.
And now about 'The Four Most Important Words To Success': I'll send this e-book to the first 10 listeners who e-mail me at feedback@peaceofprosperity.com. Remember that's peace with an E not an
Please join me next time as I answer the question "Are you putting the emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle?"
Until then, I leave you with abundant peace. Comments[0] |
