Joyanne Sloan's Podcast

Do You Have The Power To Heal?

Welcome back! I’ve got an exciting topic for you this week so let me jump right in and ask “Do you have the power to heal?� I believe that healing presents itself in countless ways. It takes so many forms on so many levels that once you start looking for the experience of healing energy, you become attuned to the myriad ways we encounter that energy each day; a smile, a giggle, a greeting card, a hug, a phone call, or even a sanctuary that can contain you and hold you in its soothing embrace. My garden is just that way; calming me, connecting me to the world outside of my thoughts and holding a space conducive to my absolute wellness. I’m sure you have just such a place that’s equally healing to you.

To heal is to make whole, sound or well. And I believe that we ALL have that capacity. So do you have the power to heal? I can answer that with an unqualified YES! But do you KNOW that you have the power to heal? My guess is that most of you don’t. If you were raised in the midst of westernized medicine, you were taught to put your faith in doctors, pills and science. And even those of you who receive alternative therapies, you’re often reminded that there’s someone other than you who holds the ability and wisdom to facilitate your healing. You’re forever told to let others play God in your life when it comes to your health. You’re taught to trust the hero or the authority and not yourself.

My own beliefs about the nature of healing were dramatically impacted by my two-year herbal apprenticeship following the Wise Woman tradition. I grew and tended and harvested green allies. I learned about the energetics of plant medicines and how the power of the natural world is available in abundance to serve our needs if only we know how to benefit from them. Most importantly, I learned how to listen to my body and to respond to its call. That’s an exquisetly intimate process of deepening my listening skills on a visceral level. In other words, I had to be able to discern what was happening physically by using all of my sensory powers to collect information. That skill is one I continue to hone as I help others listen to themselves in the deepest possible way.

It was during my apprenticeship that I came to understand that the foundation of all healing modalities is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. As the group of us discussed the affect and meaning of that term, I found myself really questioning whether or not unconditional love was possible. By virtue of my asking that question, it was clear that I’d never experienced it for myself. As a result, I didn’t have that to offer to others in my healing practice.

I said, “I don’t get it. There are people in the world who do unspeakable things, evil things to children and animals. They cause suffering and unbelievable harm. How am I supposed to extend unconditional love to people like that?�

My mentor told me “You don’t understand. It’s not about them, it’s about YOU!� Oh my God. I got it! Only when I could love myself beyond reason and outside of my ideas of perfection could I access my own power to heal. It made perfect sense. I had to heal myself and, in doing so, I would cultivate my own ability to foster that in others. That’s it. That what this podcast and the passionate work of my life is all about. That’s why I stay up late until it’s done because I am a healer and SO ARE YOU!

We all posess the ability to heal ourselves; to become whole again and again through the intentional use of our consciousness by excercising the power of love. Your willingness to do that is a life-giving act. Your willingness to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually well sets the stage for healing. When you occupy your healthier, higher self you’re a living example to the hundreds or thousands of people you encounter each day. Your healed and healing self creates a terrifically nourishing environment for the billions of people who only need to be shown how to do it for themselves. It’s not about what you say, but about who you ARE. By allowing unconditional love for yourself, you permit that in others. It’s not about fixing someone else, but about fostering the conditions for them to harness their OWN ability to love and thereby heal.

That is my chosen path. And my true vocation is not to use plants as a means to make others sound but to use words. Words have an immeasurable ability to cause harm but they also have a vast capacity to heal. Words are timeless, borderless, and their force is universal. And what I’ve decided to heal with words is the epidemic of scarcity consciousness; the pervasive belief that you don’t have enough, will never get enough or will ever be enough.

I choose to approach my form of healing consisentently and deliberately. I choose to heal myself, by speaking the loving language of abundance to me and to invite you to listen in on my private process. I know that I’m first obligated to practice what it means to be “enough� if I’m to guide others like you to that same deep knowing. You see, the more often you know it, the more it becomes what’s real. The knowing begins to take place on a cellular level. And when you embody that knowing, it becomes wisdom. That wisdom informs every thought, every choice and action. It changes the world starting with you, beginning with me.

So you see I love you as you are because I love me as I am. I love you in your perfect humanness because I love the humanness in me. I love that you want to do it all and I know that you’re only one person. I know you have limits and challenges and pain. I know you cry and hurt and long for someone to see you radiant and beautiful as you are. I know it in my own soul and I know we’re all connected.

This is the unconditional love from which the entire planet will be restored because each of us is made whole by love’s healing power. Love is the only reason for which we are alive and the only reason to live.

Former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli once said "The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own."

Please join me next when I ask “What’s the secret to manifestation?� Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!

My podcast this week is about satisfying my curiosity because I sincerely want to know... Are you really, really ready to succeed?  Are you really ready to have that magical relationship, to discover work that you’re passionate about or to otherwise make that shift from hoping to having?  If you're at all like me, then you're probably saying "Yes!  I am, I’m so, so ready to create miracles in my life and I've been ready for a very long time!"  "But (you might add), I'm still waiting for what I want and I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

So, if your intention is clear and your desire is absolute, then why haven't your dreams come true?  I'd like you to consider that any delays separating you from your prosperity are significantly impacted by your success aptitude.  The word ‘aptitude’, like countless other words, has more than one meaning. I'm not using the definition of aptitude that refers to ability because I'm convinced that everyone has ability to a lesser or greater degree.  So the question is not "Can you succeed?" but "Will you?"

That's a perfect segue into another variation of aptitude that you may not be familiar with.  Its secondary meaning refers to ‘a state of readiness’. And when you’re truly ready, your WILL works in beautiful concert with your ABILITY.  And when you combine what you can do with what you will do, you form a powerful synergy that constitutes the force of change.

These small but critical distinctions became very clear to me recently as I found myself struggling to achieve the goals I'd set for myself.  In the midst of that challenge, I realized how much I really needed support, encouragement and perspective.  So, I called a dear friend of mine who's a gifted coach in her own right.  She knows me intimately.  She knows my history and my heart.  But most of all, she understands the difference between what's real and the self-limiting stories I tell myself in the midst of my own practice of prosperity.

The “ahaâ€? moment for me in that conversation was when she helped me to understand exactly what was preventing me from having the experience of my life that I truly and deeply wanted.  I wasn't doing anything wrong per se because it wasn't about action in this case.  Actually, the problem wasn't what I was doing but what I was being.  And what I was being was afraid.

Can you relate?  Can you think of the time when you were going through the motions that logically should have resulted in the outcome you sought but never actually realized?  Can you remember making consistent effort while hoping and praying you would get what you wanted?  Most importantly, are you also able to recognize that fear was a constant partner to your desire?

That's precisely where I found myself.  Yes, I was doing what I could and I believed that I was certainly ready to succeed as never before and yet, I was privately afraid that it would never come and that I wouldn’t realize my most deeply held dreams.

The point is that fear is an invisible shield with stealthy properties for its ability to repel what might be realized in its absence.  Fear surrounds you like a bottomless moat, trapping and preventing you from reaching your intended destination.  And the most interesting thing about living with fear, even if you don’t realize it, is that fear is almost invariably an illusion fabricated by your mind. Most of all, fear is entirely antithetical to aptitude which means the two cannot co-exist because they’re opposing forces.

When I researched the origins of the word ‘fear’ I learned that it’s connected to the words harm, distress and deception.  And those early meanings underscore my point that operating out of fear is fundamentally illusionary. It seems then that our common task is to repeatedly lift this veil of foreboding in order to clearly see and reach out for that which exists beyond fear. It's not really a matter eliminating fear, but of the acting in spite of it.  It means to simply acknowledge fear without succumbing to its deceptive ways. 

To do that is to illuminate the self-deceit that occurs in your mind; obliterating any false image that precludes your best life from being realized.  You see fear has many disguises including frustration, anger, doubt, despair and worry.  When you find yourself dealing with any of those feelings, it's a clear indication that your mind is where your consciousness is currently centered.  Knowing that, you may actively shift that consciousness downward, to the center of your heart from which all creativity is born and in which fear cannot survive.

To operate from courage means to be fully occupying your heart.  And from that place, you’ll enjoy fortitude, integrity and power. From heart-centeredness comes aptitude; the readiness to fully receive your much-deserved success. 

In the words of Alice M. Swain:

 

“Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it’s the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.�

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

When you find yourself experiencing doubt, frustration, worry or any variation of fear, immediately take five minutes of stillness and solitude.  Examine the nature of your fear and continue past it until you’re clear on the underlying desire or dream that lives at the base of your fear.  Hold your wish confidently. Allow it to grow from the center of your body until it fills every inch of you including that space occupied by your mind.  You have the power to intentionally expand what is conceptual in a way that allows you to embody the power of your intention.  And when you’re the consistent embodiment of such enchanted possibility, the veil of fear is forcibly raised and put aside by you, for you and because of you.

Please join next time when I ask "Do you have the power to heal?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!

This week we’ll explore the good life and how to measure the goodness you so want and deserve.  Of course, the word "good" is entirely subjective so let's look at how we broadly define the goodness that comes with success.

The common thinking seems to go like this... If something is good, then more of it is better!  But is that really true?  Does success come super-sized?  Well yes, it does for a select few but it's safe to say that with super-sized success comes super-sized responsibility, overstuffed obligation and bottomless burdens. It reminds me of a comedienne I once heard recounting how her friend underwent an extremely long and painful childbirth.  She responded to her friend with "15 hours?  I don't even want to do something that feels GOOD for 15 hours!"

So how do you scale success to a happy medium and to a level you can maintain?  You might begin by questioning the status quo belief that more is better.  Why, because a consuming appetite for "more" is a clear sign that you're trapped in the "not enough" mindset.

Where would we be as a nation, or even as a civilization, without perpetual expansion as a core American principle?  How might we impact our environment differently if we weren't buying into the premise that conspicuous consumption is our human right?  To live sustainably as a collective requires that we live sustainably each by each, starting with you and me.  That effort begins by redefining success with sustainability as its innate function.  It's not about sustaining your outer environment, but your inner one; because when your private world is doable, realistic and maintainable, that will naturally be reflected in your external surroundings.

Here's a beautiful passage by the great Albert Einstein who so eloquently conveys our undeniable interconnection and interreliance upon the sacred web of life, the preservation of which determines our very survival.

He wrote:

“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.�

So, if your life didn’t involve overwhelm, overspending and generally over estimating what any one person can accomplish in a day, how would it look?  The answer to that question is your new definition of what it means to live a life that sustains you instead of one that drains you.

Here's a little story to make my point: I recently ordered the famous noodle dish called Pad Thai.  If you've ever had this popular Thai specialty, then you know it's made up of 90% starchy noodles with a few goodies thrown in.  The point of the Pad Thai analogy is that while there's a whole lot of it, it really doesn't provide much food value.  And I think the purpose of achieving your goals is about quality not quantity.

So how do you decrease the quantity of what you do in any given day while increasing the quality of what you do?  There's a simple formula to help you clarify your approach and it goes like this:

STEP 1 - Identify the quality of life that bring you joy and a sense of peaceful calm.  Those qualities reliably provide a feeling of being in the flow of life as well as intimacy with your true nature.

STEP 2 - Make a list of all activities that lead to you re-experiencing that flow again and again.

STEP 3- Prioritize your daily checklist this way: items 1,2, & 3 on your to-do list will include the absolutely, must-get-done-today tasks.  Begin with the one you want to do the least and get it out of your way.  Items 4, 5, & 6 are those from your to-be list; in other words, those activities that give your life meaning and make it worth living.  Just remember, productivity is NOT the purpose of life!

By both DOING and BEING each day, you'll gain the balance that's an essential element to every degree of success, great or small.  More importantly, this approach will teach you how to discern what's truly essential and surrender the rest, knowing you'll never get it all done and that, frankly, you have more essential things to be than a frustrated taskmaster with this one and precious life.

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you really, really ready to succeed?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

How Funky Is Your Chicken?

 

Welcome back!  This week I'm answering a question of vast international importance.  And that is... How funky is your chicken?

 

As you probably already know, I adore words for the powerful impact they have on our thinking.  So I often provide my audience with clear definitions of the words I use in my podcast.  When I looked up the word ‘funky’, I was surprised to find more than a dozen different variations in meaning. And for the sake of clarity let me say that I'm NOT using the following definition which is FUNKY: Having a strong, offensive, unwashed odor. Nope! Instead I'm using the following meaning, FUNKY: natural, earthy and uncomplicated.

 

What I'm saying is that having real success in your life includes having real fun. FUN fun. Funky fun!  It means setting aside the struggle and strife that we so often associate with getting to the top of what ever it is that you think stands between you and your prosperity.

 

Let me be totally honest with you by volunteering that for the last few weeks, my life has closely resembled a steaming dung pile in every way; personally, professionally, fiscally, and even physically. Seriously, there's been no part of my life that hasn’t felt either totally overwhelming or completely chaotic.  It’s during times like these when I look forward to doing my podcast because it forces me to think in a larger way, beyond the minutia of my everyday trials. 

 

With time, I eventually gain perspective and begin to pull out of the prison of my own thoughts and worries.  I start looking around myself and notice that people everywhere are facing personal challenges each and every day that far exceed my own. I come to the realization that if I stay present with myself, right now, in this passing moment, I'm fundamentally okay.

 

I'm safe, I'm warm and I'm loved.  It's only from that awareness that I'm able to focus on what is and truly appreciate the gift of my life instead of projecting on an uncertain future that is largely unknowable and absolutely outside of my control.

 

When I do that and when you do that, each of us surrenders fear and gives permission for the coming light to overtake any shadows under which we may be living.  Remaining in that position is ultimately an act of faith in yourself and your divine nature.  It is your faithfulness that issues a powerful invitation to noticing light even in the smallest possible quantity.

 

In fact, it’s your willingness to remain in, and not run from, absolute darkness that allows your vision to become greatly sensitized to even the most minute glimmering; to discern and act upon a guiding light that under normal circumstances would most likely go unnoticed.

 

That is your opportunity for true enlightenment; for the degree of your success is in direct proportion to your willingness to be light, happy and joyful.

 

It reminds me of a time when I sat in on a church service some time ago.  Midway through the program, a few musicians got up to play for the churchgoers.  Let me be frank when I say that they were downright bad.  Honestly, the music was so cheesy that I noticed myself feeling embarrassed for them. I secretly hoped that they would all sit down before things got any worse but they kept right up.

 

And as they continued, I realized something very important.  It didn't matter what I thought because, you know what, they weren't performing for me.  They weren't performing at all.  They were playing.  They weren't professional musicians and it really didn't matter because they were absolutely enjoying themselves; entirely free from self-consciousness and detached both from the outcome and from the need for outside approval.  They had succeeded absolutely through their choice to act outside of the fear of judgment.

 

In their willingness to show up and just play, they achieved a level of joyfulness that I could only experience from the outside.  And the clearer this realization became, the more able I was to appreciate the energy and the gift of enlightenment that they brought to each and every one of us that day.

 

So I ask myself as I ask you… When is it okay to be light? At what point will you choose not to perform but simply to play? And when you do finally grant yourself that permission, will you not also be inspired by your own lightness of being to play even more?  In the end, this isn’t new.  It’s a profound remembering of your true nature which is nothing short of dazzling in its brilliance.

 

It is that child-consciousness that dances at will, that bounces and squeals, sings and delights without ever seeking acceptance because it operates under its own happy authority.  And that consciousness, that sunny, effervescent, funky spirit exists within you as much today as it did in your youth. You're paramount duty is to revive and reveal that essence which infects and informs everything that you do and everything that you are.

 

In the words of Eleonora Duse:

 

"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive."   Here's my 7-day challenge for you: Be nutty, be loose, and most importantly… be REAL! Do something unexpected. Do something inappropriate.  Do something silly. And what ever you do... Just be YOU!     Please join me next time when I ask "Do you measure your life by weight or by volume?"  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

 

Welcome back!

If you've listened to my podcast for any length of time, then you know how much I love to collect and share great quotes.  Our topic this week is based on a quotation attributed to the venerable Dalai Lama who once said "Learn the rules well so you know how to break them properly."

 

Rule, rules… rules are everywhere and, as an inherently creative being, I for one rather enjoy the prospect of bending and breaking the rules as a necessary expression of those unique elements that make me me.  In fact, breaking the rules can be downright fun!

 

Rules are the spawn of the either/or paradigm because they distinguish between right and wrong.  The either/or paradigm is a mental construct that always draws a clear line between win or lose, rich or poor, live or die. But success is both, it's all and it’s complete in its imperfection.  Real success isn’t dependent on adherence to what is but upon innovation and your willingness to create what will be!

 

Before I go any further, I'll make one thing crystal-clear.  When I say "Break the rules", I'm not saying "Break the laws." Laws are a requisite part of our collective culture because they serve to protect.  On the other hand, rules have the capacity for misuse.  You can use them against yourself and others can also use them against you.

 

All you have to do is look up the origin of the word rule and you'll discover that its primary meaning is ‘to control’. Rules are principles that govern conduct and because you're rewarded for conforming to external dictates from an early age, it's quite easy to adopt a rule mentality even without your being aware of it.

 

It is the innate limitations of rules that limit success, joy and prosperity.  It's like being yourself but not your whole self.  So breaking the rules means claiming your birthright; the freedom to pursue your best life without restriction.

 

In order to do that, you'll need to learn which rules deserve to be broken, when to break them and how.  Again, I'm not suggesting illegal action.  Breaking the rules is not breaking the law.  But breaking the rules is a matter of unshackling yourself from the burden of should.  How often do you should on yourself?  And more importantly, what's the payoff?

 

What directing voice have you internalized and does acquiescing to that voice really serve you?  If not, would you be willing to consider that the kind of success that may elude you exists outside of the limits of the rules by which you may be living?  Would you be willing to ask yourself if following "the rules" is merely a manifestation of conditional love?  Is it to say that you will love and approve of yourself if ______ (fill in the blank) or when ­­­­_______ (fill in the blank)?

 

Success is not linear but chaotic, irrational, spontaneous and somewhat unpredictable.  It’s loving yourself despite the endless lists of “shouldsâ€? that run your existence. Success is almost never the result of methodical, logical reasoning.  Instead, it requires that you truly know what you and want what you're willing to do to achieve it.  Maps and well-intentioned plans are helpful but not necessary.  Plans can prevent passion and passion is a critical ingredient in your own personal recipe for success.  There are, of course, myriad ways to bake your own prosperity pie, but you must have at least three key ingredients to get there: passion, purpose and most importantly, practice.

 

So instead of planning for success, why not prepare yourself for who you'll need to be to claim and own your success when it arrives?  No longer will you need to avoid mistakes and detours or otherwise prevent all the possible pitfalls.  To do that is to take away the fruit of your labor, the lessons and resulting course corrections leading to the many rewards awaiting you.

 

Great American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

 

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Watch yourself like a hawk!  Take note of the times you find yourself telling your children or your friends or your loved ones what to do.  Stop yourself and discover the why beneath your demands.  What could possibly go wrong if you stopped shoulding on them and yourself?  And what could possibly go right if you listened to and honored your OWN voice; if you occupied your own seat of authority and proceeded to do WHAT you need to, WHEN you want to, and in the WAY you want to do it?

 

Please join me next time when I ask "How funky is your chicken?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Is Less Really More?

 

Welcome back!  This week I'm venturing to answer the question "Is less really more?"  And I think it's a thought-provoking question in the sense that you may have never considered it before.  I mean let's be honest, we live in a MORE-is-better society and those of you who are oriented towards simplifying your life and making it more sustainable will no doubt encounter the more-is-better attitude.  After all… It's the American way!

And if my calling is to coach you towards greater prosperity, then I too will have to wrestle this hairy giant and expose it for what it really is.  You see, if you find your self engaged by my podcast, then chances are good that you're struggling to resolve the same scarcity consciousness that countless others are also striving to change.

A mindset based on lack is one that's all too familiar with the scarcity mantra of our time: "I never have enough time, energy, or money."  So if that's true for you, then it's quite likely that you're also living by the premise that more time, energy, and money would solve just about everything.

If you recognize yourself in those words, you may also identify yourself as exhausted.  Exhaustion is a symptom of scarcity.  It's an effect of leading your life in a way that constantly demands more of you. It's a life that expects you to do more, be more, get more and keep more.  So you stretch, strive, and struggle. And the easiest way to be unconsciously drawn into that habit is to live beneath the false burden that if you don't do it, it will never get done. It’s to suggest that you’re in control of your destiny!

And if you're REALLY being controlled by control then you're probably convinced that you, and only you, can get it "right". We've all been there, it's true.  That includes you.  And you might continue this way of being because you're encouraged by the progress, bolstered by the praise, and ever hopeful that one day, someday you're going to be in control of your life.

But have you ever noticed that you can only enjoy that sense of control for a short time before it slips through your fingers?  Why... because control is an illusion and therefore elusive.  Control is a slimy little creature that is known for its ability to crawl into the hidden chambers of your mind and begin to multiply.  It produces thoughts which are both repetitious and pernicious.  And all the thoughts have one thing in common.  They equate control with success; setting up an insatiable appetite for holding, directing and eventually constricting the vital life force within you.  Ironically, it is that very life force that constitutes the vitality that is the cornerstone of your prosperity.

You may be wondering how I arrived at this conclusion.  I'll tell you how.  It's based on the empirical evidence and experiences of my own life.  For all my listeners involved in a committed relationship, I'm sure you'll agree that there's no richer learning environment than the one afforded by your connection to another human being.  It was certainly the case in my nine-year marriage which ended in divorce.  My ex-husband was the best and hardest teacher I ever had.  He was the kind of teacher you love to hate; the kind that gives you so much homework that it assumes you've got nothing else going on in your life.

One of the most powerful and hard-won lessons I had in that marriage is what I call The 50/50 Rule. The 50/50 Rule is best applied where relationships are concerned.  That includes personal and professional relationships and everything in between.

Do you want to know the best part? The 50/50 Rule, when practiced often, will lead to more successful and satisfying relationships. Here's how it works:

Begin by thinking of a single, important relationship in your life.  Imagine a large playing field with each of you standing at opposite ends.  In the middle of the field, at precisely the halfway mark, is a pronounced line designating each of the halves of the relationship that each of you contributes.

In a balanced relationship each of you will consistently contribute your 50%, thereby meeting the other at the midpoint; coming together through intention empowered by action to establish and maintain a vibrant connection.  Of course the reality is that very few relationships in my experience are reflected in this scenario.  More often than not, one or both parties consent, even if unconsciously, to crossing that halfway mark. This happens quite naturally when changing circumstances dictate that either party must compensate for any inability on the other’s behalf.

The word I want you to pay particular attention to is ability for there will always be times in our lives when, for myriad and unanticipated reasons, you or another will quite simply lack the capacity to go halfway.

The point I'm making is this: this isn't a conversation about ability but about willingness.  Do you recognize ability in yourself and others to make equal contributions to the success of your relationship?  And more importantly, are you WILLING to allow the other to meet you in the middle?  Allowing on your part is the result of your conscious choice to surrender control.  Allowing others to show up and give what they can, when they can and in the way they can will unearth a brilliant gem.

But if you’re UNwilling to stay in your half of the field, the gemstone of surrender will remain hidden.  This happens when you step over the line, when you make a habit of doing more than is yours to do.  Overstepping the boundary of relationship is an act of double disempowerment because it robs the other of their capacity to meet you halfway.  It says "I don't believe you can."  At the same time it robs you from the time and energy you might have otherwise committed to becoming the person you’ve longed to know.

Last but certainly not least, treading upon the territory of another, in a concerted and consistent fashion, expresses doubt and gives way to unmet expectations; expectations that might have been met by another if given an opportunity.  Unmet needs and the expectations they engender are quite simply a recipe for resentment. As you may have experienced, resentment over time will forcibly erode the connections critical to maintaining any relationship.

And I hope you'll be greatly encouraged by learning that where there is risk there is also reward.  That’s to say that your willingness to hold to The 50/50 Rule will lead invariably to greater integrity.  When you hold the line again and again, you effectively protect the boundary that protects you, holds you and supports your wholeness. It allows you to bring your complete self to all of your relationships.  It will also create definition of roles at the same it creates possibility.  And… your practice of The 50/50 Rule may fundamentally challenge or alter existing relationships in a way that invites something new and different into being.

It was the celebrated poet Rumi who once wrote:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.�

My challenge for you this week is to reflect upon any relationship in which you find yourself currently struggling.  Examine the exchanges and contributions of that relationship through the prism of The 50/50 Rule.  Most importantly, give consideration to the opportunity for each of you to be empowered and fortified by doing only what you can and gratefully surrendering what you cannot.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you know HOW to break the rules?"  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace. 

 

Do You Make a Good First Impression?

Welcome back! This week our topic addresses first impressions.  I think it's fair to say that we all want to make a good impression on others whether it's the first time or the hundredth time you meet. There's a lot of emphasis put on creating just the right look, the right talk and sometimes even the right walk.  I want you to think back to a time when you were getting ready for a first date.  Remember all of the primping and preening, all of the excitement and anticipation?

It's normal really... to want to be liked and loved. It's perfectly human to want and need things that other people can provide: compassion, community, security and the list goes on.  Those are not just desires but real human needs.  And when those fundamental needs go unmet, you'll find yourself motivated to meet them somehow, somewhere.

Basic needs that remain unfulfilled result in loneliness, divorce, isolation and in extreme cases are expressed in catastrophic ways such as terrorism.  Everyone shares these universal needs but we're all unique in the approach we take to satisfy our common list.

So I'm drawing a connection for you between the image you portray and the way your impact on others influences your ability to first have what you need -- and then have what you want.  At the NEED level we’re  talking about surviving and at the WANT level we’re talking about thriving.

Your needs and wants are truly compelling forces whether or not you recognize them as such. They help to fuel multi-billion dollar industries such as cosmetics, fashion, plastic surgery and even influence the automotive industry.  Guess what?  You’re not immune.  You and I and everyone listening are subject to the marketing efforts of those who may benefit from preying upon your deepest insecurities; profiting from your most internalized fears of not being good enough, thin enough, smart enough, or just simply "ENOUGH".

The point is this: all of the glitz and glamour, all of image-driven inventions and every other psychological or physical boost you can get have one thing in common.  They fail miserably at concealing the reality of who you are at the center.  Within the core of your being exists an animating life force or energy which the Chinese call 'chi'. You can’t hide your chi, even if you try.

And try we do. For example, think about the routine that most of us women adopt on a daily basis.  We put on a face, a mask or make-up.  But what are you making up for?  What's lacking?  Perhaps it’s vibrancy or vitality. As someone who's never had a cup of coffee in her life, I'm fascinated by the lengths people will go to get their morning buzz. And by the way, please don't let the fact that I don't drink coffee get around or they won't let me live in Seattle any more. Seriously though, it's a problem.  In fact there’s so much caffeine being dumped down the drains here that we have measurable level of this chemical polluting the Puget Sound.

Coffee by itself isn't evil but nor is it the answer.  It's just a Band-Aid. It's a temporary fix to an underlying problem just as countless over-the-counter medications are.  Generally speaking, they fail to address the root cause and merely serve to cover-up the symptoms. And you learn to rely on this remedial approach just to get you through the day instead of tending to the source of what ails you.

But underneath the quick-fix is you. Just below the surface is someone who's not getting their basic needs met.  And when that happens, you send a message to yourself and to others.  It's nothing less than a value statement about what matters most to you.  Do you do that?  Do you keep on keeping on and deny yourself, refusing to provide the basic elements that constitute that animating force within you?

We've all done it but you don't have to continue living like that.  Exercise your power of choice and lend integrity to the essential you within you. For it is that self that deserves to be uncompromised and resilient; to be substantial, sustainable and entirely capable of taking on all the responsibilities of the life before you.

Our inspirational quote this week comes from yours truly.  It's short and fun and worth writing down and taping it to your bathroom mirror.  Ready?  Here it is:

"My chi precedes me!"

And how true it is!  I don't care how you look or what you say to make a good first impression because people will look right past that.  Other people, just like you, are masters at seeing behind the disguise to read your energy, your life force and brilliance.  Remember this: people don't remember what you said, but how you made them feel.

So my challenge to you this week is to pay attention to the situations in which you can exercise your right to choose your mental and physical integrity over a hollow remedy.

It takes awareness and conviction to restate and affirm your SELF as that which is entitled to nourishment and honor, reward and worship.

Please join me next time when I ask "Is less really more?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

What Have You Got to Say for Yourself?

Welcome back!  This week I'm putting a humorous spin on the age-old question "What have you got to say for yourself?"  But in this case, I don't ask that question to put you on the defensive and I certainly don't mean to suggest that you need to offer any excuse. The point really is to get you thinking about what you might want to share with the world.  That's not to say that you need to become the next great novelist.  Instead, my wish for you is to engage that part of you, that deep inner wisdom and totally unique perspective, that sets you apart from anyone else you've ever met.

What I want you to know first and foremost is that the knowing that is exclusively yours is both rare and valuable.  In other words, any unwillingness to contribute your insights, constitutes a significant withholding from the greater good.  And when I say "greater good" I mean that in a holistic sense from the simple to the sublime; from changing your life to changing the world around you.  

It doesn't mean that you have to commit to writing a book, even though I know there are many of you listening to me that would love to do just that.  What it does mean is that you have an obligation of sorts to communicate the consciousness that IS you to others.  That might include keeping a journal or just telling your story to your kids in a way that acknowledges and honors the undivided and organic truth of you; the dark and the light, the sour and the sweet and everything in between.

To do that is to facilitate great healing and to cultivate your best expression.  For some many of us, perhaps even you, your authentic voice may exist as a soft whisper.  And if that's so for you, I'd like you to recognize that the volume of that voice may directly correlate to your willingness to have it be heard.  And I mean REALLY heard in undeniable kind of way. 

If when I ask "What have you got to say for yourself?", you find yourself answering "Nothing" then I dedicate this episode to you.  You may have grown up in an environment in which your opinion didn't matter.  You may have been told to keep quiet and to keep the peace by not speaking up for what truly deserved to be said and may in fact, still deserve to be said.  If that statement resonates with you, I want you to see how the unspoken realities of your life may act as roadblocks along the way to what you truly desire. In other words, asking for what you really, really want takes practice!

And if what you want includes truth and integrity and faith then you must speak the truth, speak with integrity and speak from that place in which you express faith in that it's not only OKAY but RIGHT to say what should be said.  And in doing so you'll effectively uncork the bottleneck of what has long awaited expression through you.  That’s a supremely creative act, of not only finding your voice, but of conditioning and strengthening your voice to the point at which others take notice.  The most important thing, however, is that YOU notice.

As an example, it's only after a couple of years of consistently writing that I now identify myself as a writer.  And if you go back and listen to my first couple of podcasts, you'll notice a clear distinction between the power of my voice as I speak to you now in contrast to the much smaller voice apparent in those initial episodes. For me, finding my voice took nearly a year of diligent work and commitment to my writing and podcasting.  That’s a process which doesn't end, it just continues, growing stronger and easier with each subsequent step.

You might be saying "Yes I have something to say but who would care to hear it?"  I've heard this sentiment repeatedly from those who’d like to write but who abandon the process out of judgment before they even get started.  They pre-judge the value of their own wisdom and are therefore prejudice in a way that not only hurts themselves but prevents any possible benefit to others. 

You don't have to BE a writer to write, just as you don't have to be a professional speaker in order to speak.  You just have to get started and let it out.  You only need to work at providing the permission and trusting that the wisdom patiently waiting to be freed, will have a momentum and a force all its own. Ability is a function of willingness. It is not a matter of "if" but "when".

Having something to say for yourself requires having a strong hold on the SELF that says it.  For when you finally speak the truth, it will set things free as only truth can.  It will foster real communication and real growth.  It will set things in motion including you.  It may be new, and perhaps even a little bit scary, but most of all, it will invite you into a realm and a way of being that is absolutely appropriate to the YOU you’re becoming.

So what have you got to say?  What hidden treasures are lurking behind your stories, your family dramas and who you think you are?  How else might you discover or uncover more of yourself without genuine communication from the heart; a critical connection with your self made possible through the power of compassionate communion? 

It was Ralph Waldo Emerson who once wrote:

"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men … that is genius."

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

In the coming week I want you to become cognizant of all situations in which you swallow your words or silence yourself.  You'll notice when this happens because you'll feel uncomfortable.  You'll want to speak honestly, to say "NO!" and mean it, but habitual fear will want to stop you in your tracks.  You'll hear an inner monologue such as "It's not okay" or "I shouldn't".  At that point you have a valuable opportunity to do a pattern interrupt by asking yourself "Why not?"  Discover the why, discover the raw truth and, in turn, your own precious voice.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you make a good first impression?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

What Is Manifest Destiny? 

Perhaps you're like me in that you’ve heard of the expression "manifest destiny" and yet you're not totally sure what it means. Since the release of the much-acclaimed movie ‘The Secret’, there's been a lot of buzz about the process of manifesting great things for your life and with good reason.

We hear a lot of things about positive thinking, the power of intention, and how you play a critical role in affecting the outcomes of your life.  While that's not to say that you necessarily control the outcome, it is to say that you possess far greater influence over your results than you probably realize.

But for now, let's get back to manifest destiny.  The term dates back to the 1840’s.  It's a phrase that expressed the belief that the United States was destined to expand from the Atlantic seaboard to the Pacific Ocean. Advocates of Manifest Destiny believed that expansion was not only good, but that it was obvious or "manifest" and certain or "destined". Manifest Destiny was an explanation or justification for that expansion and westward movement, or an ideology which helped to promote the process.

It's plain to see that that old meaning is, by today's standards, both antiquated and seemingly self-important beyond words.  So, being the creative types we are, let's redefine "manifest destiny" for the new millennium.  And just for fun, let's use the outdated definition as a jumping off point.

Certainly we can arrive at a definition which also justifies and promotes your OWN expansion because, in my humble opinion, your destiny is to experience consistent growth by virtue of the fact that you're a living and evolving being. Your body is constantly undergoing a processing of renewal. Your cells change, your thoughts change and ultimately… YOU change!

Here’s an amazing fact for you: your skin cells are replaced every 35 days. By the time you’re 20 years old you would have replaced your skin cells roughly 200 times. Even more interesting is that you can impact this ongoing growth process by way of what you do.  Say for example that you'd experienced an injury like a cut or scrape.  By taking certain supplements or applying certain emollients to your skin, you'd be directly influencing how that healing process occurs.  You could speed up or slow down your skin’s growth. And, you can  personal growth or hasten personal growth, it’s up to you!

So... to encourage your ability to manifest positive change, and thereby directly affect your destiny, you'll first have to realize one major thing.  And that is that the term destiny in this discussion is not about a predetermined or inevitable outcome.  To believe in that is an act of disempowerment on a grand scale. 

The definition of destiny that I want you to adopt is this: The power or agency that determines the course of events. Agency is the state of being in action or of exerting power. Specifically, it places great privilege and responsibility squarely on your shoulders.

It means that in order to manifest your dreams, or otherwise transform your ideas from concepts to reality, that you must have a fundamental agreement between your INTENTION and ATTENTION. In plain English, I’m saying that what you WANT has to be in alignment with what you DO.  What are you intending to have happen?  And more importantly, does where you put your time and energy support or compromise your intentions?

Here's a really big idea that I want you to pay close attention to.  Manifesting opportunities, relationships, joy or success does not come purely from holding to the mere idea of those things.  The take away is this: the word "manifest" is actually a contraction of two words.  The first half comes from the Latin word ‘manus’ or hand.  The second half comes from the verb ‘festus’ which means ‘to strike’. So, manifesting is the direct result of the actions of your hands.

Isn't that powerful beyond words?  It’s amazing to finally understand that achieving what you want, and reaching your absolute success and ultimate expression, is largely and literally within your hands!

A man by the name of Frank Outlaw is credited with the following saying:

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.�

Here’s my 7-day challenge for you:

This week I want you to take notice of any discord between your INtentions and ATtentions; between your desires and actions.  Such disagreement will become obvious when you more closely examine those areas of your life in which you're not seeing the results you desire.  The goal here is not to put you in the mindset of forcing anything to be.  Instead, I'm encouraging you to take action, consistent action, in the direction of your dreams.  Don't strive for perfection but do your best and do it with great purpose.  Know at the end of each day that you have done your best and willingly let go of the rest.  For in your ability to surrender you're attachment to outcome, you’re necessarily honoring that your universe may have in store far loftier plans and grander ideas than you could conceive of in your wildest imaginings.

Please join me next time when I ask "What have you got to say for yourself?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

What Were You Thinking?

 Welcome back!  Today we're going to take a look at the transformative power of forgiveness by answering the question "What were you thinking?"  We've all been there, it's true.  The desire to assign blame is ongoing as far as I can tell.  Here’s a great example to illustrate my point. A year ago, I bought a pretty shacky little cottage with a leaking roof and a wildly overgrown garden, not unlike a blackberry jungle.  But you know, even with all its problems, even with the more than 2000  pounds of junk I've since hauled from the yard, I love my little house because it has soul.

There are interesting plants in every corner.  Flowers spill out in all directions and fruit falls abundantly from the trees.  It’s at once both a paradise and a pit.  A few months after I bought it, I found myself yet again in line at the hardware store.  The bearings of my furnace motor were blown and a host of furry little vermin had taken up residence in the attic.  As I stood there waiting to buy a space heater and rat poison, I found myself saying "What was I thinking? Why on God's green earth did I pick that house?"  Although the reality was that the house had picked me.

Even though I alternately worked and froze my ass, my little house has turned out to be a wonderful home and an even better investment. But... at the time when I had to quiet the gnawing rodents in order to get some sleep, buying this needful little cottage seemed like a huge mistake.  Mistakes, as you know, come in infinite shapes and sizes.  They come as unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling jobs and unnecessary drama.

Mistakes are necessary hurdles in the way of success.  They’re unavoidable and essential to your progress.  So the take-away of this episode is to encourage you to become conscious of the blame that accompanies anything you define as a "mistake". 

Placing blame is a learned response and can therefore be unlearned.  Blaming is a fruitless method by which we think we are correcting a situation or somehow making up for past mistakes.  Blame is a way of controlling behavior by prolonging a sense of guilt and shame. And what’s the use of that?  What does it really accomplish?  The worst variation of the desire to shame and coerce behavior is when you do it to yourself; such as when you play the dual role of both perpetrator and victim. 

Say for example that you've got most of a left-over chocolate cake sitting at home.  You might begin with the very saintly act of cleaning up the rough edges or what I call the "offending irregularities".  Then, before you know it and much to your chagrin, you’ve managed to whittle the cake down to just about nothing.  The moment you stop enjoying the luscious frosting, your inner critic springs to action; making you feel ashamed and guilty for doing the thing that, just a few minutes ago, felt sooooooooo good!

Lucy Leu who wrote the ‘Nonviolent Communication Workbook’ describes it this way: "There’s a belief in our culture that the suffering of the perpetrator makes up for the loss that victims undergo... an eye for an eye. If I lose an eye as a consequence of your behavior, I know my deep need for empathy, compassion and safety will not be met by your offering me either your self-judgment or your eye."

What's she's saying essentially is that there's a serious risk involved with playing the blame game and that's the risk of becoming tightly lodged between figuring out who’s right and who's wrong.  Even trying to understand the "why" behind a certain outcome is just another attempt to assign responsibility.  The opportunity available in all undesirable circumstances is to actively choose the alternate path of radical forgiveness.

Forgiveness means mourning the choices you've made and then letting go, and moving on.  There isn't a set time in which that has to happen. You can't just build a bridge and get over it without taking the time to honor what’s happened and how, as a result, you're going to proceed to get your needs met.

The Old English origin of the verb "to forgive" means to give, grant, or allow.  In other words, forgiving others and, most importantly, forgiving yourself equates to a green light on the road to success.  Forgiveness is a seriously impactful form of detachment because it allows you to more objectively acknowledge the wisdom to be gleaned from a given situation. Forgiveness empowers you to clearly assess the highest and best methods for applying what you've learned on the road ahead, inch by compassionate inch, step by loving step.

 

In the words of poet Ranier Maria Rilke:

"Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princes who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave." 

 

My challenge for you this week is to keep a written record of any situations in which blame wants to surface.  Consider how liberating your self from the burden of blame would enable you to freely go about fulfilling your unmet needs. Imagine how a compassionate perspective keeps you connected and focused to the possibilities; how you remain undivided and uncompromised in your pursuit of something better, something alive, something real! 

 

Please join me next time when I ask "What is manifest destiny?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Are You Separate From Success?

Welcome back!  Let's jump right into answering this week's question "Are you separate from success?"  If you've been a regular listener to this podcast, then you know that one of the things I always try to accomplish is a shift in perspective or to otherwise invite my audience to consider that there are a multitude of perspectives on the topic of success depending on your own personal beliefs.

And one of the ideas I've consistently tried to convey is that success is innately qualitative rather than quantitative.  That's to say that success is an experience, a feeling and a way of being instead of an object or an objective.  The feelings of success can be transient at best. But why? Like a volatile, essential oil, the success you may have experienced this morning can seemingly dissipate and rise up into the ethers, beyond your reach and control.

Hasn't that happened to you?  Haven't you been suddenly derailed from feeling on top of the world with just a tiny change in circumstances?  The point that I'm trying to make is that if you agree that success is, in large part, a feeling that results from your beliefs then it's fair to say that you’re in control of the thoughts and beliefs that produce the feelings of success or failure.

In a recent conversation with a fellow coach and friend of mine, he reminded me that what you believe is not a fact, but a feeling of certainty. For me, what he shared had a strong ring of truth to it.  Life has demonstrated again and again that feelings of certainty have a greater likelihood of determining outcome whether positive or negative. That’s because we make decisions based on what we believe we know. So... if you feel separate from success, as though it's out there in the great beyond or at least beyond you, then what you're effectively expressing is that success is not about self-determination as much as it is about destination.

And, if you're certain that success, in whatever form it may take, is something you have to GET, then you’re actively perpetuating the fundamental belief in duality. Duality is about being separate from the experience of life that you would otherwise choose to have.  It's a belief in the OTHER, and in ISOLATION which necessarily robs you of the all-powerful autonomy so essential to you being the person you desire to be. It robs you of your autonomy by way of forfeiting to others, your right to affirm the success you already know yourself to be. What if nobody else on this planet ever told you that you were a worthy or loveable being? What if you did for yourself instead?

What I'm challenging is the unconscious ways in which you affirm, through action, the either/or paradigm from which duality is born.  Therefore, if you're to successfully erase the illusion of separation, you’ll move ever closer to the deep knowing that what you want and what you need is absolutely and unmistakably within you.  That my friend, is the precious gift of UNITY; to be one with the infinite expressions of success by wittingly joining your seen and unseen selves.

It's a matter of simply acknowledging and acting upon the fact that everything you are capable of being and achieving is contained within you at this very moment.  Of this you can be certain.  Just as it was at the time of your conception when that exceedingly minute entity that held the capacity of who you are today, so too does your current expression hold the capacity for who you will become.  In your hands and in your mind is the power to uncover that truth and the yet invisible facets of yourself awaiting such happy revelation.

As spoken by Dr. John Hagelin:

"I am my atoms, but I'm also my cells.  I'm also my macroscopic physiology.  It's all true.  They're just different levels of truth.  The deepest level of truth uncovered by science and by philosophy is the fundamental truth of unity.  At that deepest subnuclear level of our reality, you and I are literally one."

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Divide a sheet of paper into three columns.  On the column to the left, make a list of the way your life presently is.  In other words, right down the ways of being that are true for you right now.  In the middle column, write down the achievements you’d need to reach in order to change what is into a more authentic expression of who you believe you can become.  In the last column, make a list of the ways you want your future life to be.  The answers you put in each column should correlate to the one beside it. 

The point of this exercise is to remove, one by one, the achievements that maintain the division between who you are and who you truly want to become.  Focus on the center column and ask yourself honestly, are any of the successes you think you SHOULD have in life really a prerequisite to just being that dream version of yourself?  Are you certain?  Remember... believing is seeing.

Please join me next time when I ask “What were you thinking?�

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

How do you know you have a mind?

Welcome back!  As I go about my life, I encounter all sorts of situations that inspire me to share them with you in upcoming podcasts.  The subject for this week's episode was found one day in traffic.  The bumper sticker read: How do you know you have a mind if you don't change it once in a while?

I loved it!  I'm always finding myself drawn to those ideas that really get me thinking.  And if you've been a regular listener to the Peace of Prosperity podcast then you know that my main purpose is to also encourage YOUR critical thinking; to build that skill in a way that supports your well-being and your success.

You've probably noticed that I don't really offer advice.  Because I'm not really interested in telling you what to do and I'm definitely NOT interested in telling you what to think!  Instead, my goal is to simply share the inner workings of my own mind in a way that fosters you to arrive at your own answers.  We coaches understand that it's useless to suggest any particular course of action because the odds of you actually acting upon outside advice is slim to none.  It's much more likely that you'll follow through on the ideas that come from your own inner wisdom.

And that brings me back around to our question and how your mind is a fluid entity by virtue of the fact that it's growing and expanding as you continually experience life.  So that means that your mind will naturally change in response to your own evolution.  And the point that I want to raise to you is that a commitment to preserving specific concepts or otherwise defending a certain position or mindset is tantamount to derailing the success that comes from your own internal progress.

What's more, if you take a good look around at what's happening in our world, you'll discover that the very nature of the pronounced conflict and resulting human suffering is directly connected to individuals collectively defending their belief systems and ways of life to the exclusion of what other’s may choose for themselves.

Looking at the origins of the word ‘fundamentalism’ I discovered that it was first put into use around 1920 to describe a conservative desire to restate, reaffirm and reemphasize foundational ideas related to faith.  And while there's nothing wrong with faith, I do not personally believe that it, in any way, justifies a fixation on thinking in a way that attempts to alter people’s behavior. The reality is that autonomy is our common destiny. And achieving that destiny dictates the use and changing of minds the world over, beginning with yours!

Therefore, I want to ask you to take a closer look at your own fixed ideas; identifying the ways in which you expend precious energy defending who you have decided you are or what you know.  Look at the way you label others and examine the labels that might apply to you and the inherent limitations of such definitions.  What I'm suggesting is that you don't need to live within the constraints of definition to have integrity. Definitions do not protect!

What that means is that you have the power to have BOTH in this life.  You can have the wholeness and soundness of integrity while maintaining an open, flexible mind.  And to clarify what I mean, I want to point out how your brain is distinct from your mind.  To accomplish that, I’ll refer to the definitions offered by author William W. Hewitt who says that the brain is a physical part of your body, a supercomputer with fantastic memory.  On the other hand, he says that your mind is the total intelligence that is YOU.  Your mind is not physical and doesn't die.  Your mind is not your brain but uses your brain as a communication link between you and other intelligence.

The major take away here is that your mind is not limited and therefore your success is not limited.  Your mind, if consciously allowed to remain open, is necessarily kept in a state of constant receptivity.  And it's that heightened awareness that secures your ability to receive the guidance, resources and untold blessings connected to success.

In my own life I've been noticing how personal challenges often result in unnecessary struggle when I adhere or attempts to protect what I think is the right way.  There is never just one solution but often the best answers come about when I consciously choose to stop relying on my brain exclusively. I have to permit my mind to leverage my brain and the guidance available in the broader consciousness to arrive at an alternative path. That's the middle path that involves using your heart along with your knowing to unearth a fresh perspective.

That new perspective is the byproduct of your higher awareness and the acknowledgment that what many first appear to be the only way was actually just one of many possibilities.  I want you to consider all the possibilities; to avoid focusing on what you know and shift towards what can be.  For when you do that, your brain releases its hold on your history, your stories and your self limiting thoughts and becomes available to the myriad opportunities once concealed from eyes shut tight by caution.  All you have to do is look!

In the words of Mary Catherine Bateson:

“We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn.�

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

I ask you to take what you think you know and who you think you are and set it aside for just a few moments.  Imagine your mind as an intelligence far too vast to be contained.  Picture your mind as powerfully interconnected to the highest possible awareness and greatest possible outcome for your life.  Do nothing else but remain still for it is the steady, quiet soul that is rewarded with the bounty of the ever-present and all-powerful thing we call JOY!

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you separate from success?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

What’s Your Credo?

Welcome back!  Let me begin with gratitude to my faithful audience and to the hundreds of new listeners tuning in each week to the Peace of Prosperity podcast.  If you have a question or suggestion feel free to call me toll-free at 1-866-374-8539.

Our topic this week is about how to answer the question "What’s Your Credo?" The word credo originates from Latin and dates back to 1175.  Its literal translation is ‘I believe’. In other words, your credo is comprised of a set of beliefs; those concepts that resonate with you at the deepest level.  Your beliefs, good or bad, are the byproduct of your collective life experience.  And when you have the opportunity to meet someone or to enter into a new situation, your mind will engage in collecting information from that person or situation and then procede to compare what you've just learned against what you already know to be true for you.

So, your credo is highly personalized.  And what you believe in at the core level informs your judgments and subsequent actions even without your being aware of it.  In other words, your belief system can be thought of as a measuring tool against which to judge something or someone as being authentic and trustworthy or alternately, it can cause your bullshit meter to sound the alarm.

And the best part is that your belief system is it finely-tuned system for guiding your decisions and actions.  Your credo is part of you and can be relied upon to operate at all times, under any conditions, and often without you even knowing it.  And it's that lack of awareness that requires addressing because among your many beliefs are unexamined and self-limiting beliefs.

As a coach, I work closely with people on becoming aware of how their thoughts limit or control or even prevent the action steps that are so vital to transformation and success.  Every day you're put in a position of making all sorts of decisions, large and small.  The little ones are easy, but the big ones often take on the appearance of the unwieldy obstacle in your path.

As always, my goal is to offer you a fresh perspective on the situations you face day in and day out.  Oftentimes when you can see a given situation from a new place, what once appeared as a problem can then be seen as an opportunity.  It's what we coaches refer to as the 30,000 foot view.

And to see the circumstances of your life from that altitude enables you to pull yourself out of the daily minutia and into a mindset from which you can clearly see the deeper connections and broader significance of what’s currently presenting itself to you.  From above your apparent conundrums, it becomes so much easier to free yourself through powerful action. 

But, if you remain mired in what’s only immediately significant or temporarily difficult, you run the risk of indecision or, worse yet, inertia.  Have you ever watched someone you care about be really STUCK?  The only thing harder than that is being stuck yourself and not even knowing it.

So, if you find yourself unable to pull the trigger and you've felt the sting of opportunity passing you by, then this episode is dedicated to you!  This is your opportunity to establish, and then live by, your own personal credo in a way that can significantly impact your results.

My challenge to you this week is to write down the essential beliefs by which you live.  Those are your strongest beliefs, not about others, but about yourself.  They are the self-evident truths that you believe in absolutely as the hard-won treasures of trial and error.

I'm encouraging you to include only those beliefs that are both positive and life-affirming.  Exclude any beliefs that are based on fears or limitations about your capacity to be wholly prosperous and thriving. You’ll notice how limiting beliefs show up in a pattern of response and, once you’ve connected the dots of that pattern, you can wittingly discard what has never and will never serve your highest and best expression.

Upon constructing your credo, you'll possess a set of guiding principles against which to apply all the various decisions of your life.  It will act as a system of checks and balances while providing both clarity and direction for all the significant opportunities for expansion coming your way.

As you write down your beliefs, be flexible not rigid; knowing that your future growth will necessarily alter your experience and thoughts.  Take your time in putting your credo on paper.  Notice what you've learned from your own private history and synthesize it.  Condense that knowledge into your own pearls of wisdom.  And combine them with the essential truths of those that inspire you.  Type it up, print it out, display it clearly so you can learn it by heart. Contain it, act upon it and rely upon this tool to free yourself of

lethargy and doubt.  Once liberated from indecision’s orbit, you may use this tool to build a remarkable future, choice by essential choice.  And that future of yours is one that you may occupy completely as yourself; an authentic expression of the YOU that you've become through intention and integrity.

Before I conclude this episode, let me share my own credo with you as adopted from the beautiful writings of William Henry Channing:

"To live content with small means;

to seek elegance rather than luxury,

and refinement rather than fashion.

To be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich;

to listen to stars and birds,  babes and sages with open-heart.

To study hard, to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never;

In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious

grow up through the common... this is my symphony.�

 

Please join me next time when I ask "How do you know you have a mind?"

Until then, I leave you with abundance peace.

Welcome back!

Our focus this week is on answering the question "Are you on autopilot?"  It seems that all of us find ourselves there at some point or another.  And that's to be expected.  But this episode is dedicated to my listeners who find themselves on autopilot for weeks on end; hectic days that turn into hazy months that become years you can't remember.

Essentially, when you're on autopilot, the details of life seem to disappear before you.  In that situation, the delicate nuances that enrich this experience we call being human are blurred, misplaced or altogether lost.  It means that you no longer occupy the driver's seat; effectively abandoning your post and the resulting successes that accompany self-direction and self-determination.

If autopilot is a consistent factor in your life, I'm assuming that you didn't exactly choose to end up there.  And if that's true, how is it then that you arrived in the mindless realm of robotic being?  It's not an accident… so what happened?

The reality is that autopilot creeps in like a stealthy, little habit.  Its symptoms are often silent and insidious.  Autopilot is what makes you crave quality time and quality of life.  But in the way of that is your to-do list; the infinite list of tasks that you and I come to believe are who we are.  As if what you ARE somehow relates to what you DO or get done.

Autopilot can infect you unwittingly.  It becomes a natural coping mechanism if you bought into the baseless but ubiquitous notion that the stuff you accomplish equates to the stuff of success.  Success isn't about doing but about BEING.  Consider this for a moment… is real success something to achieve or perhaps might it be something you express, something you are, something within you that can never be taken away?

In my opinion, the status quo approach to success it like a treasure map; you start here, you go there, then over there and finally, if you're lucky, you end up at the big payoff.  In that way, you're led to believe that success is a destination and, as such, exists largely as conceptual.  But what I'm suggesting to you is that you consider a fresh perspective on success as immediate, actual and available to you this very moment.  For if you choose the old way, you'll unknowingly fall into a trap of do-do. Do this, do that, do it better, do it faster, but whatever you do, do do and do even more do-do!

Can you see it now?  Can you understand how it is that autopilot can easily take over in the midst of multitasking?  It happens the second you divide your focus and yourself from a single task to doing two or three at once.  That division constitutes self compromise because it immediately and predictably robs you of your ability to be present for the subtleties of success. 

Success rarely occurs in the form of a 100 foot yacht on the Riviera.  It can, but it generally doesn't.  Instead, success manifests itself as acknowledgment, gratitude, and generosity. It has many faces including trust and support and unexpected opportunity.

Your job then is to learn to identify success in all its permutations.  And the only way you can do that is by paying attention to others and mostly to yourself.  That's the idea of focus.  Having focus is about leveraging the power of sight; both outward sight as well as insight.

With focus, life becomes clear.  With focus, you become lucid and able to perceive and act upon the cues and guidance that reveal life’s most valuable riches; treasures that otherwise remain invisible to all who fail to recognize the intrinsic unity of themselves to prosperity.

My challenge for you this week is simple.  So please grab a pen and write down this short pearl of wisdom.  Ready? Here we go:

“Perpetual productivity perpetuates scarcity!"  What that means is that you're invited to stop believing in, and acting upon, the false notion that being efficient is relevant to your worth. Actually, keeping forever busy only serves to maintain the lack of time and energy and balance we all associate with a happy life.

If you believe in efficiency, then you'll always be expecting more of yourself as though what you’ve accomplished thus far and who you are right now is in some way inadequate.  You are NOT inadequate.  You are a unique instrument of divine possibility that can only come to be with your permission.  So I encourage you to stop choosing conditional love for yourself for it’s through the power of UNconditional love alone that you may willingly be a host to the delightful destiny within you.

 In the words of author Diane Mariechild:

"Trust that still, small voice that says, This might work, and I'll try it."

Please join me next time when I ask "What’s your credo?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!

Our question this week asks "What is the purpose of pain?"  And the topic of pain is particularly interesting to me because of my background as a Wise Woman Herbalist. One of the ways in which I show up in the world relates to my ongoing desire to be nurturing to those around me.  As one who’s consistently focused on guiding others towards healing and wholeness, you can bet that I've got quite a lot to share where pain is concerned.

Let's begin by looking at how it is that we deal with pain.  And just to be clear, when I say pain, I'm not referring to the random headache.  Instead I'm approaching this subject from the broad standpoint of both physical and emotional pain and the various ways in which they’re inseparably joined to each other.

It’s probably been your experience that conflict on the mental or emotional level has a direct impact upon your body.  In fact, you may be fascinated to learn that pain travels through your body at the astonishing rate of 300 feet per second.  It's incredible but true and it speaks to that terrifically sensitive tuning between your brain and your nervous system.

If I were to place a single grain of sand in your eye, not only would you feel it instantaneously, but you’d become downright focused on getting it out as fast as possible.  That’s a perfect example of how it is that we're taught to handle pain.  In other words, you do your very best to get rid of what ever is hurting you.  If you're exposed to popular media in any way, then you're well aware of the myriad pills and other prescription medications that promise to end your suffering.  And the more quote unquote "effective" something is, the more we sing its praises.

But, and this is a big BUT, there’s a rather large wrinkle with that approach.  For in the process of alleviating pain, the focus is erroneously placed upon the remedy and not the cause.

There are a thousand ways to remedy suffering and what I'm suggesting to you is that the vast majority of those methods are largely different forms of escape.  Escape has many names: alcohol, sex, overeating, overworking, drugs, shopping and hundreds of other habitual behaviors to which you may run for relief.

Reality can be rugged; its sharp edges carelessly wounding the unconscious among us.  However, the reality of the here and now, in all its imperfection, is the only location from which you may glean true knowing and the gifts that are only available when you're fully awake.  In simpler terms, you must be present to win.

You see the winning results not from turning your back on pain but from turning towards pain and honoring it as your wisest teacher.  Speaking of teachers, one of my mentors once told me that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.  And in a radical shift on popular belief, I want you to consider for just a moment, that you can actually avoid suffering without avoiding pain.

Think about it.  Think about the message that pain is attempting to deliver.  Consider the magnificently perceptive instrument that is your body and how carefully attuned you are to receive even the most subtle communication. One of the purposes of pain is to get your attention.  Indeed your resistance to that messenger is a guarantee on suffering.  Pain wants your undivided focus so it says "hey there", or "yohoo… back to me" or finally "all right, no more games.  Stop screwing around ’cause I mean business."

And you wouldn’t be alone if your response to such pain is to just swallow a bigger pill which only puts you in a one-on-one battle with your body... and guess who's going to win?  In a war of denial, pain is the inevitable victor.  And acknowledging that is an opportunity for you to avoid suffering by facing pain at its source.

The ultimate cure available to you at all times is regard.  It's paying intentional attention to caring for a self that's depending on you to provide it a home.  Having said that, I want to recommend that to be numb is to be dumb.  In other words, avoidance is ignorance.  And ignorance is not simply a matter of ignoring what you don't want to face or feel, it's also a matter of ignoring the generosity of your life that's concealed by pain.  It's like a riddle you have to solve. 

And finding the answer to that riddle requires reverence.  Yes, revering pain as the divine messenger it is, means that pain is entitled to respect.  And to respect a thing is to validate its worth or to formally express esteem.  You do that by being with your pain in a concerted and intimate fashion.  Therefore the alternate path before you is not medication but meditation.

For when you meditate upon a thing you give it your absolute attention and, only when you do that can you begin to understand its nature.  Only then can you learn its name and its origin.  And when you know where it lives, you’re rewarded with the permission to go to that place within yourself and tend to its needs with healing compassion, affection and kindness.

As celebrated author Mark Twain once said:

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Over the next several days, begin to pay attention to the inextricable connection between your mind and body.  Notice any pangs or uneasiness that expresses itself on the physical level.  When some form of upset presents itself in your body, take a few minutes to close your eyes and bring your awareness to the location of any pain you may be feeling.  This is the point at which you may attempt to correlate your discomfort with those areas of your life that require attention.  For example, is what you're unwilling to say to someone manifesting itself as a sore throat?  Or perhaps, is the current burden you're carrying showing up as back pain?  Try to establish an energetic relationship between what troubles you and what ails you, for in that connection lies the power and the purpose of pain.

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you on autopilot?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

How do you go from surviving to thriving?

Welcome back!  Let's dive right in to this week's thought-provoking question... "How do you go from surviving to thriving?"  Is there anyone listening who doesn't resonate with that?  I think we've all encountered episodes of struggle in life and that’s to be expected.  But this podcast is aimed at those of you that deal with chronic struggle; a perpetual state of survival from paycheck to paycheck, from job to job, or relationship to relationship.

Doesn't it make you wonder who you'd be if you no longer had to struggle?  Well you DON'T have to.  It's not a prerequisite to prosperity.  And it's not part of the rules.  As someone who writes and coaches on the topic of success, I'm also engaged in my own prosperity practice.  Quite literally, I practice what I preach.  I’m my own best student because I’m so intimately connected to the myriad facets of the effort to have and be enough.

You may have noticed that I used the word effort and not struggle.  Success does require effort.  It takes action repeated over time to yield results.  And those results are what move you toward enough and beyond.

You see "enough", by itself, relates to merely surviving.  On the other hand, to really be thriving, requires that you have more than enough.  But how?  How do you grow into more when being a survivor is all that you know? 

Ask yourself then, how do things grow in the real world?  Growth comes with nourishment, of course!  Nourishing and healing the sacred self is a process I began years ago and will continue over my career.  Giving myself what I need most is a fundamental aspect of my own prosperity practice because I finally got clear, after decades of needless suffering, that only I could provide myself with what I truly need.

That's been a journey of mending my relationship with food again and again because, like many of you, I learned early on that food was an easy fix for loneliness, frustration and depression.  I used food as a way to give to myself three times a day because I'd never learned HOW to feed myself what was most profoundly satisfying: reverence, integrity, time, compassion and commitment... to me!

As I learned to finally feed myself holistically, my relationship with food was transformed.  That represented a significant and irreversible shift away from scarcity; leaving my "not enough" identity behind to pursue my rightful role as the embodiment of abundance.

And just for the record, I want you to understand that personal growth is cyclical nature.  My sense of abundance isn't a constant state because life ebbs and flows in its natural rhythms.  What's important to remember is that when the tide of abundance is receding, you can absolutely rely upon its return.  Trust is everything!

That trust is born of the wisdom that you can access the experience of abundance, or what I call the Peace of Prosperity, again and again.  That peace is not an external construct, but an internal destination.

Do you know the way there?  So many of you don't.  You don't know how to get to that place and you don't know how to feed yourself.  The result of that is undeniable and pervasive.  Look around, people are starving themselves physically and spiritually; subsistence living in the land of plenty... but why?

Because it's what we know.  It's what we've learned.  Did anyone ever teach you how to feed your self?  Did your parents show you how to provide yourself with the nourishing substance of life?  If not, why not?  Who was their example?  Where in your lineage can you trace back to self nurturing?  Sadly, many of us can't. 

Perhaps like me, your family background might include strong belief systems in which self-denial was encouraged.  That way of thinking still exists and will likely always exist in the paradigm of scarcity consciousness.  That mindset equates self-sacrifice and self-control with godliness and honor.

And here's where I'd like to point out the pronounced flaw with that approach: if you don't eat, you won't grow.  So, in order to lead a truly divine life, YOU must be divine.  And at its core, the word divine means to shine.  So to shine vibrantly, to do your brilliant best and to make a difference in your world requires that you receive all the nurturing goodness that you can possibly contain.

Although the sweet reality is that you can't contain it if you try, so don't even try!  Commit yourself to receiving the bounty surrounding you and permit yourself to be the conduit through which your own growth inspires others to feed themselves with shameless receptivity and life-giving reverence.

In the words of Carl Jung:

“That I feed the hungry, forgive an insult, and love my enemy -- these are great virtues. But what if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and most impudent of offenders are all within me, and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness; that I myself am the enemy who must be loved -- what then?�

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Look upon life as a divine delicatessen.  Identify those dishes that are available to you right now then choose those that you want to have most.  Upon choosing, take notice of any resistance that comes up in the form of self-limiting beliefs.  It's those beliefs like "I can't" or "I shouldn't" that effectively prevent you from allowing your self to receive all that you need.  So decide that for the next week, you'll treat yourself as nobility.

You refuse to accept life's leftovers; no crumbs of compassion or bits of benevolence that barely sustain you.  Instead, make a feast of your life.  Break the fast of self-sacrifice and take the big slice of life with all the frosting.  Feast upon the morsels of tenderness that fill you up and let you experience lasting satisfaction.

Dream up your own spiritual smorgasbord... a fondue of friends or a prime cut of passion; a soufflé of savoir faire or a sumptuous pastry filled with the sweet flavors of what can be.

Please join me next time when I ask "What is the purpose of pain?"  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Welcome back!

I ‘d like to begin this episode with a warm welcome to all of my new listeners.  Something wonderful is happening with my server logs and my audience is growing by leaps and bounds; thanks in part to each and every one of you that's shared the Peace of Prosperity podcast with your family and friends.

 

This week's question is "How much do you want from life?"  And, of course, there are an infinite number of ways to fill in that blank, but I'm going to venture to say that, for a great many of you, what you actually want is simply more than you already have.  You want less chaos and more time, more quality of life.  Am I right?

 

For you to achieve any variation or combination of those outcomes, requires an essential step on your part.  I mean that when you're asking yourself "How much do I want from life?"  You must realize that the MUCH, or the quantity, is directly impacted by the HOW, or the strategy.

 

What I'm offering you is another perspective on achieving prosperity.  The typical approach is to simply ask "How much" as though quantifying your answer was all that was necessary.  But from this new approach, you'll focus on the "How?"  Of how much and begin to qualify the ways in which success may come to be your life.

 

Quantifying success is the mindset by which what you want exists largely in the external realm.  In other words, it's out there and you have to go after it, get it, secure it or, worst of all, sit around and wait for it; steeped in the fear that success may never come at all.

 

But today I'm offering you a new way.  So grab a pen and paper because I'm about to give you the big take away... ready?  Here’s what you write: "I do not have to get, I only have to let."  It's true, you don't have to get your highest good, but you do have to learn how to let it be with you, without forcing it or pushing it away or otherwise sabotaging what does try to find its way into your life.

 

"Getting" is part of the language of scarcity because it's based on two big, ugly, wart-covered lies.  The first is that there's some magical "thing" out there that's going to make you happy.  The second untruth is that getting means there's a thing to get; that it’s tangible and therefore a limited commodity.  Actually, real success is infinite, not exclusive.  It's not a matter of whether or not there's enough for you or whether or not you're enough to have success.

 

Getting is also misconstrued with taking which engenders a whole array of nasty reactions from greed to guilt to shame.  So let’s put the word "get" out of your vocabulary for the foreseeable future.  Instead we’ll focus on the verb "to let".

 

Letting isn't about taking anything away from anyone.  Letting is about allowing.  And allowing is the all-important, yet invisible step, that precedes RECEIVING.  So, if you take an honest look at your life right now and you recognize that you're not receiving your highest and best, that it's time to consider how the power of allowing can begin to transform your reality.

 

The practice of allowing means that you're actively cultivating a habit of saying "Yes!" to the unseen parts of you that pester and nag at you in an effort to finally be in the world.  Getting to "Yes!" is critical because it empowers the HOW of "How much?"  For when you give an UN-qualified yes, more strategies to success will begin to emerge through the synergistic force of Providence. 

 

It's a practice of giving yourself permission to receive in the present, rather than making a future promise.  That's what it means to practice prosperity and, until you do that, the Peace of Prosperity will appear unattainable; and object or objective, caught up in duality, seemingly separate from you and your experience.

 

Indeed, the goal here is to reconnect you again and again to the experience of success and the life-giving energy that comes from feeling prosperous; a unifying process of bonding what is undeniably right to your body, mind and soul, this day and always.

 

In the words of German novelist and philosopher Goethe…

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.â€? 

 

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Let's start off by acknowledging that your good will come to you by way of others and that receiving what they have to offer depends upon you NOT blocking or controlling their attempts to assist in bringing about all that's rightfully yours.  How do you block?  Perhaps by being the last on your list, or by giving yourself so little time and effort that the opening through which your blessings try to enter is not a doorway, but a crack.  That crack represents the small self who's so overworked and overwhelmed that you couldn't possibly handle the gifts in store for you.  So say "Yes!" instead.  Say yes to those that want to contribute to you and you'll begin to widen that small crack in your "I can't do it all" armor, until you're wide open; standing fully in the sunshine of the beautiful blessings that were there all along.

 

Please join me next time when I ask "How do you go from surviving to thriving?"

 

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

<a href="http://www.podcastalley.com/"> My Podcast Alley feed!</a> {pca-3bd2edd1491580b547053e9bc4dcde20}

Hello and welcome back!

I hope you enjoyed last week's episode on allowing your inherent genius to express itself fully.  If you have an idea for an upcoming podcast, please let me know so that I can feature your question in an future episode. You can call me directly with your suggestions on my toll-free line 1.866.374.8539

Today I'm going to be answering the question "Is that all there is?"  But before I do, I'd like to remind my listeners in the Seattle area that I'll be offering a workshop called The 4 Most Important Words To Success on July 11th and again on July 15^th. For details, please go to my web site: www.peaceofprosperity.com

So, our question this week is one that probably everyone asks themselves sooner or later. The scenario goes like this: you've been working hard, making progress, and perhaps you've got something to show for your efforts.

And still, the feeling of having really "made it" never comes.  Eventually, you find yourself asking "Is that all there is?"  and  wondering whether or not you're doomed to keep working forever without ever feeling like you arrived.       

If you can identify with that situation, then you know that the real question comes down to finding what "IT" is for you. And if it makes you feel any better, just know that people everywhere struggle with how to answer that question. But why? Because the "it" that brings satisfaction changes as often as you do. While your desires and ambitions evolve along with you, it is possible to find a sense of achievement and serenity about how far you've come and how far you'd like to go from here.

The status quo definition of "making it" really comes down to getting rich. And yet money by itself fails to provide an internal experience of abundance. The result of that is the more syndrome that drives consumption and materialism at unprecedented rates. It's not really a matter of having enough, but of being enough. And sadly, people by the billions pursue material wealth as if it somehow holds the power to remedy the internal experience of scarcity and lack.  Of course, it doesn't and yet the very temporary relief that consumerism provides continues the confusion between purchasing power and personal power.  

So, if you're finally ready to experience a sense of "enough" and beyond enough, then I invite you to take my

Self-Wealth Quiz... please answer True of False to the following statements

1. "There is a disconnect between the results I desire and the results I have."

If you answered true, then start by defining the difference between intention and attention. Your intention speaks to your desire whereas your attention indicates the direction in which you take action. Insanity has been described as the repetition of old behavior with the expectation of a different outcome. Simply put, your results will change when you do.

2. "Having money alone is not enough. I also want the time and energy to enjoy life."

Time, Money and Health are the essential ingredients in your personal recipe for success. Achieving a balance of all three is the key that opens the door to 3-Dimensional Wealth^SM. Unfortunately, building net worth alone is often achieved by sacrificing your time and health in the process. That approach results in both imbalance and the very feelings of scarcity that drives you to want more in the first place. In the end, striking a balance requires attention to each dimension beginning with your health; for health is wealth and without a vital and vibrant body, no amount of money can replace the life energy that's so essential to really, truly making it.

3. "I don't know what feels satisfying or how much it will take."

Are you one of countless people who waste months or years pursuing something that you don't even truly want? Or has the chase become so habitual that you are unable to recognize when you've reached the place of "enough"? Now is the time to get honest about what really motivates you. This is about meeting yourself at the deepest level; not about trying to fulfill what others want you to be or have. Perhaps what you really want is not even tangible. The yearnings of your soul likely have little to do with titles or status. Instead, consider the state of being or experience that resonates with your deepest values and beliefs then begin to explore the possibilities.

4.  "I work harder at sustaining my life than my life works at sustaining me."

If this statement is true for you, it's a good indication that what you've achieved is status. The lifestyle of status requires tremendous amounts of energy to maintain because possessions, by nature, are in constant process of entropy. On the other hand, when you've achieved state rather than status, you have the tools and the ability to create the experience of fulfillment on a personal, internal level.  From that place, even though the nature of what feels satisfying to you may change, it's easy to recreate that state of being because the skills that it requires remain the same.

5. "When I finally achieve the things I thought would make me happy, I'm often disappointed."

In order to cultivate the balance and self-wealth you desire, you must first learn to plant the right seeds. What seeds are you sowing today and will the fruit of your present efforts be fulfilling in the future? Listen carefully to yourself as what doesn't feel good can prove to be of greater impact than what does feel good. What methods are you using; which work and which do not? Why? Does the final result, when you ultimately get there, feel like you thought it would? This exercise will be instrumental to learning where the sweet spot is for you. Like most exercises, the more often you do it, the better the results will be.

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

When you wake up tomorrow morning, no matter how hard you worked today and no matter how much money you've saved, there will be twenty fours hours that you will never, ever get back. Time is the fortune of everyone. Therefore, it's impossible to borrow from tomorrow what is yours today. Only you have the power to make choices that either support or sabotage your ability to enjoy fully the priceless riches of this exquisite, passing moment.

Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present"  - Unknown

Please join me next time when I ask "Where can you find the energy to succeed?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!

I hope you enjoyed last week's heartfelt episode called "How is love?"  I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts about that podcast and welcome your feedback on my toll-free line 1-866-374-8539. Before I dive into this week's topic, I want to let you know that I'll be offering two workshops during July based on my book entitled 'The 4 Most Important Words To Success: Even If You Never Say Them Outloud'. The first class will be offered through  DiscoverU on Wednesday, July 11^th at their North Seattle headquarters. The second workshop on the same subject will be offered by East West Bookshop in Seattle on Sunday July 15^th. So, if you're in the Puget Sound area and would like to attend either day, you can find more details on my web site at PeaceOfProsperity.com

Now, on to this week's question "Do you have genius?" This is a very interesting question as it relates to the correlation between intelligence and success. As one who's personally and professionally committed to healing the epidemic of scarcity consciousness, I know all too well that the "not enough" syndrome is evidenced in countless ways. And it most definitely shows up with the thought that "I'm not SMART enough to succeed." So, the game of getting more, leads people toward the never-ending pursuit of knowledge. Don't we all do that?  Don't you and I buy books and cd's and any other thing that promises us the answer?

The point is that claiming your success in a lasting way does not demand that you first solve the mystery or learn the secret. To finally claim your prosperity and to fully embody that wisdom, means acknowledging that there is nothing lacking about you.  There is no distance between you and the success to seek other than your choice to give power to illusion. Here's an example of what I mean:

When I was in elementary school, I failed to gain entrance into a gifted learning program. I missed a passing grade by just a few points but I missed it all the same. I was the only one of five children in my family not to be allowed into that program.  One day while  fighting with my younger sister, she told me in no uncertain terms, that because I hadn't passed that test that I was stupid. The fact of the matter was that I wasn't stupid at all.  Despite that I believed her. And the great untruth that I swallowed that day was absolutely toxic. Sadly, it took me decades to rid myself of that poisonous lie.

Even while I wasn't stupid, I was being ignorant. And there's a fundamental difference between the two that I want you to understand.  First of all, stupidity is a judgment; an assessment of one's capability and a very restrictive condemnation of what's actually possible for their life.  You don't even need to call anyone stupid to inflict the limitation it brings. In fact, just thinking that you're stupid affects the same result.  So, whether you say it out loud or internalize such a judgment, the impact is equally negative.

On the other hand, being ignorant is not a value statement.  Rather, ignorance is a behavior.  And as a behavior, ignorance involves choice.  When you choose ignorance it means that you're consciously or unconsciously ignoring a critical knowing.  Ignorance is avoidance. So why do you avoid?  What do you not want to know?  And most importantly, what could possibly happen if you stood up in a room and declared "I'm a genius!"

Are you laughing yet?  Or are you feeling anxious imagining what that would be like?  My guess is that you would never, ever make such a statement. And I'll venture to say that the reason you don't make such lofty claims is for fear that someone might just ask you to prove your genius.

But you know what?  You don't have to prove it because everyone has genius. How do I know that?  The word 'genius' originates from the 14th century and means "a guardian deity or spirit which watches over each person from birth". Notice that the definition doesn't say some people, it says each person. And each person includes YOU!  So true genius is not exclusive.  It's a spirit, a wit, and a natural talent incarnated by you. By the mid-17th century, the word 'genius' took on a second definition which is 'a person of natural intelligence or talent'.

So now you understand that genius is not acquired but innate. You came into this world with it and so shall you leave this life with it.  Therefore, the question is not IF you have genius, but HOW you will use it.  How will you exercise that beautiful mind of yours?  How will you make your own talents and gifts available to the world?  How will you wake up each day and choose GENIUS over IGNORANCE?

It's a matter of allowing your natural intelligence the space to be; to deem it worthy of speaking through you in whatever form it chooses to take.  In the end, the shape and size of your genius is irrelevant because all genius is the stuff of the creative life force we often call love.

It was famed composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart who once said:

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius.  Love, love, love... that is the soul of genius."

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Over the next week, become aware of any occasions in which modesty prevents you from acknowledging what is fundamentally good and true about you.  When you notice your self waving off a compliment or diminishing your contribution, simply stop.  Allow your genius to receive what is being offered without restriction.  Just know that it's your birthright to affirm that "Yes, I am!" Say it like you mean it. Say it because it's true.

Please join me next time when I ask "Is that all there is?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!

I hope you enjoyed last week's special episode on part one of "How is love?"  I'm looking forward to taking you directly into the conclusion of this revealing and personal two-part podcast.  And if you haven't listened to part one yet, please take a few minutes to review that episode as it provides important context and gives dimension to what I'm about to share with you.

This is my own private story about how I came to find love and how it came to find me in a way I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams.  Ever since I was little girl, I had a strong capacity to experience life and relationships on a very deep level.  And if you're familiar with me through my past writings, then you know that my natural inclination is to perceive my world in a very colorful and emotional way.

My ability to feel things intensely has a direct correlation with my level of sensitivity.  That sensitivity, as I now understand it, is an innate quality that somehow makes me different from most of the people I encounter.  Looking back, I've come to a significant shift in perspective where sensitivity is concerned.  In my past, being sensitive was very much a double-edged sword.  With it, I could sense many things on very subtle levels.  And while that provided me with some valuable information in terms of guidance, it also left me feeling rather exposed where other people were concerned.

For the most part, I'd regarded my emotionality and receptivity not as the gifts they were, but as a major liability.  I so often felt misunderstood and mishandled.  It seemed that since childhood I wanted to be loved in such a way that others simply could not understand and therefore, couldn't satisfy.

That began a series of long-term relationships in which my emotional, physical and spiritual needs were largely unmet.  And, after an 11 year relationship that ended in divorce, the false belief that what I wanted was simply too much to ask for became affirmed in my thinking. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy of epic proportions.  So I learned how to separate myself from what I really needed in terms of connection and decided just to live with what was. 

The two years following my divorce was a time of intense healing.  I really worked at it.  I actively exorcised myself of old belief systems and the outright poisonous lies I had swallowed as a young girl.  My family history included rather painful infidelity which had a pronounced effect on me throughout my developing years even though I was often unaware of its impact.

As a result, my fundamental inability to trust men touched almost every aspect of my life.  My healing was a path to discovering that I was indeed capable and worthy of having the priceless gift of a genuine intimacy with another human being.  That new found awareness was the pivotal point on which my relationship with love began to shift. For the first time in my life, I knew absolutely that to be in love did not require another person. It only required that I commit myself to experiencing and expressing the pure energy of love regardless of who else might care to join me in those healing waters. And from that point on, swimming with the current of love energy brought me stillness and wholeness and the faith I had lacked all my life. I finally understood what it meant to have integrity.  No longer would I compromise myself.  No longer would I pretend that I couldn't have all the goodness and kindness and connection that was already mine if I only could muster the courage to name it as my own.

But to name it, how?  How is love?  How on earth can I or you bridge that dark chasm between doubt and unwavering trust?  All I can tell you is how it happened for me.  All I can give you is what came to be in my own experience.

I suppose it begins with a core belief.  And by that I mean something that you know to be true or even just hope is true, despite all the history of circumstances surrounding you.  For myself, I'd never seen an unbreakable bond between two souls.  I had no real examples of a kind, soft and intimate commitment of a man to a woman.  And despite that, I always wanted to believe that this life might offer me a sincerely gentle and profoundly loyal relationship.  I really didn't know how that might come to be, I only knew how much I wanted it.

You see, THAT is the power of intention.  To have intention is to have purpose.  It means to be attentively occupied in holding your dream as an internal reality even though it may not yet be manifested in your outer experience.  In order to hold intention, you're required to be a dreamer and a fool for love. And to keep your dream alive, you must protect it with your life.  To keep what is unborn within you, no matter what it is, is to be in powerful integrity; uncompromised and resolute.

So what does that look like in real life?  Here's an example: about a year after striking out on my own, I decided to begin dating again for the first time in about a dozen years.  Good God I was nervous!  I so badly wanted to make a good impression.  At the time, I was living in a very small town with a lot of retirees and meeting eligible men was virtually impossible.  So, being a forward-thinking woman, I decided to take the technology plunge and explore the mysterious world of online dating.

That experience was like being in a series of not-so-great movies.  Some were horror stories, others were science-fiction and even more were just dark comedies.  After a few months of that, I commiserated with another single friend of mine.  Basically she told me that I was attracting the wrong type of men because I hadn't gotten really clear about what it was that I wanted.  So she encouraged me to do a writing exercise in which I was to the list very specific characteristics and qualities of the kind of man I wanted to meet most.

I'll be honest with you in that I thought her idea was pretty lousy.  I told her that I didn't want to do it because it seemed that by narrowing down my criteria of the perfect man might make me too focused on something that didn't exist.  I didn't want to limit my options and I didn't want to wait around for the impossible.  But, you know what?  I did it anyway.

I wrote a list of exactly who I dreamt of spending my life with.  And one of the unexpected results of this exercise was that once I had it all on paper, I could see that the qualities that I wanted in a man were the same qualities I wanted to express myself.  So I filled out two sides of 4x6 card and set it aside.  Over the months it became buried among my stacks of paper and I forgot all about it.

I continued to date rather fruitlessly until the point at which I discovered a pattern in my experience.  The men I had been seeing were strangely falling into the same type of behavior, one after the other.  What I mean is that, to some degree, each one of them failed to show up fully in my life.  It meant that there was a noticeable disconnect between what they said and what they did.  And the more I tried to figure it out, the closer I got to the realization that there was one common denominator in each subsequent situation... ME!

Oh shit, it was me.  My failure to show up fully was now being powerfully reflected back to me by each of the men I encountered.  So I stopped dating.  I had to solve the mystery.  I had to figure out where it was that I wasn't showing up for myself.  I decided that for the next six months that I would enter into a relationship with me.  The process began by first listing those elements that I believe constitute a healthy and growing relationship.  Given the background of infidelity in my family history, I decided that that would be my starting point.

I looked up the word fidelity and discovered that it means to hold steadfastly to an idea or person.  Where had I'd not held steadfastly to myself?  When had I been guilty of compromising me?  The more I asked myself those questions, the more clearly I saw how I had been cheating on myself for years.  I put others first and accepted being the last person on my list.  I gave and gave and served men without even considering how I might also serve the needs of my mind and body and spirit.

So for six months, I decided to make time just for me. I would take myself out to movies and dinner and bookstores.  I spent time writing and listening and giving a voice to the beautiful and unspoken aspects of myself that had so long been hidden away. And you know what?  It was a blast.  I didn't miss dating at all.  I didn't go out of the house wondering who I might meet that day because I knew that I was meeting myself in a way I never had before. I had authorized myself to provide me with deep recognition, knowing that when the right person did enter my life, that I would not be relying on him to give the reverence only I could provide.  I wanted to savor all the delicious elements of a loving relationship in such a way that I might finally be able to recognize those elements if they were to later enter into my life.

And then, out of the blue, out of the magnificent darkness, came magic.  Magic is everything we can't explain.  Magic is the unexpected and to see it, you have to be paying attention. And, at that point in my life, I had been paying attention like never before.

Late one night as I stood at the sink brushing my teeth, I had a thought that changed my life forever. And the thought was "Go to your computer right now!" It wasn't just a normal thought but an intuitive command.  How do I know the difference?  I'll tell you how.  With practice.  This thought was not just about going to my computer but to go online immediately and not just anywhere but to the Internet dating site that I had quit five months before.

You see I've been intuitive since the time I was a little girl.  It was a gift passed onto me by my mother that I've learned to hone throughout the years.  And one of the things that distinguishes a normal, everyday thought from an intuitive knowing, is that my intuition doesn't always make immediate sense.  In this case, that lack of logic was demonstrated by a mental tug-of-war. One part of me was hearing "Go to your computer!" while the other part was arguing "No!  I'm not dating right now." I've learned to recognize that this type of internal dissonance is a telltale sign that my intuition is at work.

This conflict is normal because the brain always looks for what's logical and linear.  On the other hand, the intuitive or clairvoyant capacity comes from what is largely the irrational or etheric realm.  It can't be explained and so it sets up the mind to engage in battle for the mind wants to make sense of things; to categorize and label all that it encounters.

So after years of experiencing this type of scenario, I knew better than to ignore the intuitive command.  Sure I was tired but I didn't dare refuse to comply because past attempts at doing that only makes the message more pronounced.

And so I listened, really listened.  I fired up the computer, logged on to the dating site and up popped my list of preferred criteria. The page loaded with search results and immediately there were a pair of gorgeous blue eyes that looked into me with an openness and a depth that were both powerful and immediate.  I read his profile and with each new sentence my anticipation grew.  His writing was honest and direct; displaying a command of language that thrilled me completely.  I took it all in and could feel myself expand with hopefulness and confidence. He seemed to be everything I had been seeking.  And here it was approaching midnight and this Cinderella had let her membership expire and had hidden her own profile from view the year before.  In other words, he'd never be able to find me if I didn't make the first move.

So... with just a single click of a mouse, I sent a message to this mystery man.  I had a sense of completion knowing that I had fulfilled the commanding sense of obligation to my own inner guidance.  I slept that night not knowing the pivotal action I had undertaken with just one push of a button.  In the morning, I awoke to a delightful response to my message. His words touched me absolutely and served to only increase my growing sense of excitement.   Little did I know that I was standing on the precarious edge of infinite possibility.

One e-mail grew into another and then a dozen. Within a couple of days we'd spoken for the first time and are first date was set.  I wish that I could share those first amazing moments of our meeting but words will never adequately convey their magnitude. It was nothing short of electric.  The moment we first laid eyes on each other, silent fireworks began to ignite.  It was pure energy and pure light. Within six days of meeting we had fallen in unmitigated love.  I'd never even thought that was possible.  And now, more than a year later, we are continuing to close the divide between the impossible and the sweetest, juiciest, most passionate love affair I could have never imagined.

In the end, I realized that he proved to be every thing on the list I'd written and forgotten. But, he is so much more than that; more than I dreamed I could ever receive from this life.

And, there is so much more to tell about our love story but there is really only one thing you need to remember. The how of love is unimportant.  How love finds you doesn't matter.  That you are deserving of love's vastness is all you have to know.  And you must know it, right now, for all you have is now.  Only you can liberate the power of love. Only you can agree to its terms which are absolute and unyielding. When you know that love is your nature and your truth, the how will invent itself; burrowing its way to you and through you beyond reason, beyond evidence and disbelief.  That is my gift to you and it is so.

I'd like to conclude with a poem I wrote for my beloved on the occasion of our first anniversary earlier this month. I've entitled it Medicine Man.

There is a wee voice

within each of us.

And late one night,

as spring melted into

summer, it called to me.

 

It was strong and insistent, giving  

me no choice but to listen.

This voice had led me on a winding path within, to a wisdom

that wore the ancient dress of memory.

 

I peeled away the layers, thread by thread, revealing the joyful truth of a pure and brilliant light; a light disguised only

by the withering shadows of fear.

 

How long we had each navigated the darkness.

Our separate paths leading within and through the nighttime

 

of isolation, until all at once colliding with such force

as to form a new life, united and radiant.

 

Our remembering is absolute, our love spilling uncontained

over the edges of our lives and beyond.

 

We are at work with each other, at play with the other

and growing with each step... together.

 

Our roots tangled in a lover's knot, bound by infinity

for more growth, more blossom and fruit.

 

You are my home and my heaven.

You are my wholeness and healing.

 

You are in me like magic, like a healer who

knows not the power of his medicine.

 

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you have genius?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!  This episode begins a two-part podcast on the question "How is love?"  So please join me for a revealing look at my own lifelong search for the answer to that timeless question.

This is a story of hope and faith, of desire and determination.  It's a love story; the kind that inspires the heart to open in the face of fear.  It's a tale of my life and my private pursuit of a profoundly nourishing connection to another soul and to my own.  What I'm about to share with you is but a brief glance at only the most recent chapter of a real-life history that spans nearly four decades. 

This experience demands a voice because its power has a purpose.  And the purpose of love is simple... love wants to live, to expand and create more of itself.  That's what we're here to do.  Yes, that includes you and me and everyone who's struggled to receive love and express love in an ever widening wave of passion and compassion. 

The purpose of your life is to be the embodiment of love in your own supremely unique way.  For you possess the capacity to express what distinguishes you from every other being on the planet.  Expressing and illuminating your true self in totality is a recipe not just for success, but for MAGIC.

It reminds me of the saying "Where there is great love, there are great miracles."  And so I'm setting out to share my great love with you, without restriction or limitation.  I'm doing that because I understand, at the core of my being, that giving love is the principal on which transformation takes place.  I've done it and I know it as the divine truth.  And having love means I have it to give to you without the fear of judgment or loss because love and fear cannot share the same space.  Love, once given to others, is never diminished, but multiplied.

When your love is received by another, it creates an opening through which YOU then receive more love, from more directions, and in flavors you have never known before.  You see, the giving precedes the receiving.  And love, true to its expansive, uncontainable nature, begets more love.

To love is a verb, not a noun.  Love is not a thing just as success is not a thing.  In fact, what is the difference between love and success?  What is one without the other, and can you really have love or success exclusively?  No!  Love requires a host. It requires action in order to be.  It needs you as much as you need it!

It needs you to foster its expression in the face of rejection and doubt.  To really BE LOVE means allowing love to move through you and because of you in spite of all the evidence you've collected to prevent that from happening.  Love is your nature and therefore thwarting it leads to frustration and anger.

What would it take for you to say "Yes!" to love under any circumstances?  Perhaps sharing the miracle of my own "Yes!" will be the sweet elixir that brings your heart to life.

The history of love for me cannot be fully brought to light in this brief time, but there has been a common thread tying each significant relationship to the next.  My experience had been one that could be referred to as holistic hunger; leaving me fundamentally dissatisfied and under nourished.  The rumblings of loneliness and deep emptiness only grew louder with time.

Throughout my life, I've craved to be recognized in my entirety: body, mind and soul; to be loved beyond the need to control and embraced as an equal, capable and powerful partner.  And yet, each attempt to connect with another was limited by the level of intimacy it could reach. 

Those restrictions were born of a lingering mistrust on my part, which was only compounded by a series of men who didn't know how to share power but only how to perpetuate the too common power-over paradigm.  That pattern pervades our culture and gives way to dominating behavior in politics, in business and most certainly, in matters of the heart.

The-power-over paradigm in my experience took many forms.  It included men who withheld affection in order to influence my behavior.  It included criticism and the enforcement of many conditions that, once met, would result in my getting attention and that distorted thing mislabeled as love.

If my experience resonates in any way with yours, then you know that AUTHENTIC love is not an object.  It can't be taken or stolen, purchased or sold.  Instead, love is an energy whose purity is life embracing and all high.  True love is not dispensed as some reward because it cannot be kept.

You can't hold it in your hands and yet you know it's real.  Love is like the wind blowing softly over you, clearing away the debris of suffering and doubt.  And sometimes, love gusts overhead like a wild Tempest that carries you to places you've never, ever been.

And so, the deep wisdom of love is in its allowing.  It means that love is all around you, knowable yet invisible.  And getting out of its way, permitting love to be in you and through you is the secret.  You see, in my own challenges with finding love, it was lost the moment I tried to possess it.  In the end, I didn't get the love I wanted because I didn't have to.  Rather, I discovered it as it discovered me.  I recognized it and it recognized me.  I honored it as omnipresent and, what do you know, love became present in my life; manifesting left and right, with perfect timing all because I finally said YES. 

Yes is magic.  Yes means no longer pushing love away.  Yes means you can allow it to reside in you completely because you finally understand that no one and nothing can ever make it go away.  For love doesn't abandon us but we can indeed abandon it with judgments and conditions and grasping to those we think control it.  The desire to secure love is the call to let go.  Let go.  Let love. 

In the words of Mother Theresa,

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."

Please join me next time for part two of "How is love?" when I share the wonderful tale of my date with destiny.  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!

The theme for this week's episode is one that I hope you'll pay special attention to.  So, let's explore the question "Are you vulnerable to success?" And while my question to you is perplexing, I want very much for you to consider the role that vulnerability has played in your life.

About three years ago, I had the chance to do just that.  I had just left a very unhealthy and abusive marriage.  I left my job, my home and my beautiful garden sanctuary.  But above all, I left behind my identity as a wife and caregiver.  Aside from my most meaningful role as a mother, the rest of my life was stripped away in a matter of days. The end of that decade-long relationship was both dramatic and traumatic to say the least.  That was a time of annealing; my life in the raw and my painful realities completely naked for all to see.

The annealing process is one by which glass and metal are exposed to intense heat and gradually cooled in order to free the material from internal stress.  This is a very necessary process that produces a stronger and more resilient product able to endure the inevitable pressure of external forces.

I invite you to think about how the profound challenges of your life have delivered you unto this same process by which you have been fortified and prepared for what awaits you.  For what awaits you is greater learning, and a bigger, broader, and more impactful life.  That my friend, is but one perspective on the myriad definitions of success.

But in order for you to grasp that success with both hands and really own it fully, it's imperative that you be able to make the following critical distinction. That's the distinction between being vulnerable and being open.  And it wasn't until I finally had the courage to venture out on my own that I ever understood the difference between the two.  In fact, I hadn't even known that is was possible to separate vulnerability from openness.

Striking out on my own for the first time in my life meant leaving behind who I thought I knew myself to be. With those definitions suddenly gone, my life in all its bare glory, was totally available to the loving support of many powerful women who entered into the void of my life almost immediately.  I consider these women to be earthbound goddesses; divinely appointed as my guides and sacred sisters.  And it's my deepest conviction that their presence in my life was the result of my willingness to step courageously toward the dark emptiness. 

One woman in particular proved to be of great significance in my healing.  She was and is both a trusted ally and nurturing mentor to me. It was she who brought me to the awareness that the deep suffering I had endured could be attributed to the ways in which I made myself consistently vulnerable to others.

The word 'vulnerable' originates from an ancient Latin word meaning 'to wound'. In my case, my woundedness came about through my own tacit consent.  In other words, I had exposed myself to unnecessary pain through seeking the approval of others.  Most of my life, I had been driven to serve, to please and to accommodate the needs of others even when that meant compromising my self.  I did it so often for so long that eventually I did it without even knowing it. That pattern had been my unconscious formula for getting the love I so desperately wanted. I held on to that way of being regardless of how much suffering it involved.  And I did that because I never knew how to be my own source of acknowledgment or appreciation.

If you live by the false assumption that the love you want exists beyond your control then you'll naturally feel out of control.  Giving away the supreme power to love and revere your self in all your flawed humanness constitutes a commitment to vulnerability.

To be vulnerable is to interpret the actions of others as though they reflect upon your own value.  It means assigning meaning to what happens out there and forfeiting your responsibility to provide yourself with what is absolutely necessary to your forward progress and success.

By stark contrast, you may knowingly set vulnerability aside in favor of openness. To being OPEN is to be uncovered, evident, and available. Are those not the very same qualities you seek from success?  By remaining open, what you desire from life also becomes uncovered, evident, and available. What I'm suggesting to you is that if who you are is hidden, then what you desire is equally concealed.

Being open is like acting as a doorway. When you are a doorway, the affects of what others say and do are allowed to pass through you and beyond. It means that you repeatedly choose to provide your self with acceptance and encouragement in spite of all the circumstances and conditions that exist in your life. For when you make that choice you enter into the domain of unconditional love.  That is a place of healing and wholeness.  That is the destination we call heaven.

And now I'd like to invite you within my own private domain by sharing a very personal piece of poetry I wrote in deepest gratitude to the friend and healer mentioned earlier in this episode.  This is for Dori:

I know a place where wholeness lives; where the fullness of autumn meets a thousand gentle happenings of spring.  And in every moment between your becoming and unbecoming, sweet life and the possibility there dwell.

I know the one who can take you there, on a winged invitation to the unmet self.  Hers is the touch that illumines the ineffable and unseen.  She is the painter and creator, gently weaving the formless into being.  She holds and heals as only the fruit, full and ripe does.  She is both giver and gift.

Hers are the hands of friend, mother, ally and sister; raising the summons to alchemy, to heart and light.  She gathers a harvest of blazing fire and funeral pyre, bidding you "set free then embrace" in quiet refrain.

She gives ending and beginning, dimension and meaning to the infinite, perfect NOW.  Her gift answers softly the call to bring us sweetly and tenderly home.

Here's my seven-day challenge for you:

Over the next few days, pay attention to those situations in which you notice yourself to be at the affect of others. Use what you now know to identify aspects of your life that currently fall within the definition of vulnerability and then apply your creative intelligence to knowingly shift your self into the position of an open door. Notice your reactions and attachments and also your unyielding power of unconditional love and how that love may transform every single part of your life.

On a special note I'd like to share with you that one year ago today, I met the man of my dreams. Our phenomenal relationship is both an illustration and culmination of my lifetime of learning.  So please join me next week as I begin a two-part podcast that reveals my own private story of finding real passion and trust for the first time in my life. Be sure not to miss out on this intimate look at success through the lens of the heart's most profound wisdom when I answer the question "How is love?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Do you have to be right?

Welcome back!  Do you or someone you know, have to be right?  If you've never found yourself passionately defending your opinions or beliefs, then I'm sure you know someone who has.  And, if you've ever been lucky enough to have an argument with someone who fits that description, then there's no doubt you know how irritating that can be. But why is self righteous behavior so incredibly aggravating?  Let's explore the answers together.

Being right, particularly when it's a very rigid stance, is yet one more example of the either/or paradigm in which we live.  Asserting your right-ness is, in my opinion, a divisive effort because, in order to be right, another party has to be wrong.

The desire to be right cannot be divorced from your survival instinct.  We all learned conformity at an early age.  We learn how to belong and how to access the benefits of inclusion, often at the expense of our individuality. Those lessons are underscored into adulthood in both social and religious settings where superiority and exclusivity may dominate.

That pattern is so deeply ingrained into our collective psychology that it serves as the basis for most advertising campaigns.  Marketers understand how to stimulate the unevolved part of your brain that manages your flight or fight response.  You've seen the commercials that come right out and say: use our product and you'll be part of the inner circle; by our stuff and the opposite sex will find you irresistible. They want you to believe that what they're offering will lead you to the right job, the right person, or the right pill that makes it all right.  Right?

You're pushed and pulled by a thousand different remedies and the promise of success they offer.  And 9 times out of 10, those who profit from your fear want you to remember one thing... without their latest widget, gizmo or thingamajig, you're not in, but out.  You're excluded from ever finding the prosperity you want: the health, the wealth, or the time to enjoy both before it's too late, so they urge you not to be left behind.

You know what's funny about all that?  You and I can see right through the lies and yet advertisers persist.  They do that because they have proof that it works. So my goal is to get you to think.  I want to broaden the awareness that impacts your choices and actions.  I want you to know, before you invest in another rejuvenating lotion or magical potion, that success is a human construct.  It other words, success doesn't exist outside of the person you attribute it to.

Success is not some THING, but some ONE!  True success is the someone who has aggregated human capital, the resources of valued relationships, and a genuine, priceless peace in any given moment.  But most of all, success is having the great fortune of choice for that's the freedom of self-determination that countless human beings have given their lives to protect.  So what do you choose for yourself?  Who do you choose to be?  I want you to think about how to INclude yourself in success through surrendering the desire to be right.  Because now, now you know that right and wrong are the language of EXclusion.

Being right feels good because we're all conditioned to associate it with approval, survival and love.  We learn to modify what we say and do for fear of being judged as inadequate.  However, the informed mind, your mind, has the ability to move beyond the innate fear response and to apply the knowing within your conscious mind.  That is the premise of self awareness.  That's your unique human ability to know, to expand and evolve beyond the constraints of right and wrong.

Moving beyond judgment means that you hold the key to the invisible door that stands between where you are now at where you desire to go.  Abandoning judgment is to knowingly liberate your self from the limitations of either/or thinking.  It means not having to defend a position or the current definition of self you've become attached to or identified with.

On the topic of surrendering judgment, the Swedish diplomat and second Secretary-General of the United Nations Dag Hammarskjold once said: 

"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean."

So, my 7-day challenge to you is to let go of the judgments that define and confine you.  Let go and see what happens.  Discover what lives beyond right and wrong.  Embrace the mystery, the not knowing and be in the exquisite company of possibility.  When you choose the paradigm of what's possible, you step into the realm from which the impossible becomes reality.  It's your pure creative essence, it's magic and it's rightfully yours for the asking.

Please join me next time when we explore the question:

"Are you vulnerable to success?"

 Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

Welcome back!

I'd like to invite you to join me for the next few minutes as we explore what it means to be an untouchable in modern times. More importantly, I'll be asking you to connect our discoveries to your own self and success. 

The term 'untouchable' refers to members of the lowest social class in India. This classification of social hierarchy is known as the caste system.  Within the Hindu tradition, it's believed that if members of the higher social classes come in to physical contact with the Untouchables, that they're rendered impure.  In fact, the two classes don't actually have to touch each other because it's thought that even treading upon the shadow of an untouchable achieves the same outcome.

Within our culture, the caste system appears to be outdated at best and absurd by modern standards.  And yet, what's truly fascinating about the antiquated notion of being untouchable is that it survives to this day. More amazing still is that even while Western civilization rejects the caste system, it maintains its own concept of social stratification.

Think about it.  Doesn't our culture perpetuate those labels which distinguish one from the other: Rich or poor, have or have not, winner or loser? And, of course, it goes without saying that this kind of polarity exists well beyond the words you use to describe it. In that regard, language holds the power to create and maintain social division based, for the most part, upon the mere evidence you use to evaluate those who you deem "successful" from those who aren't. 

It comes then as no surprise that your basic human need to belong would drive you, even unwittingly, towards a public statement of self-worth through material, intellectual, and social avenues. It's about saying "I matter" by way of what you have, what you do, and who you are. You see belonging is not a desire but a need because interdependence is critical to your survival.  And, in the end, surviving is succeeding. Human history is fraught with the countless and silent stories of those who failed to belong.  That's what it means to be an outcast.

An outcast is a person who's stigmatized or otherwise denied the benefits of a culture, usually for being perceived as being outside the social norms of that culture.  Here's the point, if you're going to survive and perhaps even thrive, it will depend upon your ability to find and secure true acceptance.

Are you ready for the take away?  You don't GET acceptance from others, you GIVE it to yourself.  You learn how to recognize those parts of you that you've labeled as untouchable.  You begin with an intention for clear seeing and proceed to undress the persona you've constructed and speak to the bare truth of you.  It's about the unglamorous, undesirable and unspoken facets of your life that you label and reject; effectively casting out what has failed to bear fruit or to provide you with the necessary sweetness you seek.

This process is initiated by recognizing that words not only hold the power to polarize, but also hold the power to unify.  Language, and the intention it represents, is most important at the internal level.  That's to say that the words you speak to yourself contain the all-mighty capacity for communing with the unseen self in the most profound and impactful way possible. That describes the very essence of communication. And when you're communing with your true nature, you forge a relationship with those formerly stigmatized parts of you. When you connect within, you no longer deny yourself the benefits that once existed beyond your grasp.

My gift to you is about illuminating the often hidden paths within your self; those that reveal your secrets to success. And, in order for that to happen, you must first choose to make contact with your WHOLE being. No longer can you separate what's beautiful from what is not, after committing to being complete and having complete success. That is what it means to live divinely and THAT is what I wish for you.

As inspirational author Mike Dooley once wrote:

"To give beyond reason. To care beyond hope. To love without limit. To reach, stretch, and dream in spite of your fears. These are the hallmarks of divinity - traits of the immortal - your badges of honor, and your ticket home."

To learn more about Mike's work visit www.tut.com

Here's my seven-day challenge for you:

Learn how to touch success completely and how to let it touch you; entirely, gently, repeatedly, satisfyingly and absolutely!  To do that means not hiding, not fearing or withholding any part of yourself that you have failed to accept.  Seize your rightful authority to bless the bitter and the sweet in everything, for that will provide you with much-needed balance and the grounded foundation upon which to reach out and take in more tenderness, more beauty, more JOY.

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you have to be right?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Welcome back!

This week's episode answers the question "Do you have a success handicap?" I can just hear you saying "What?  What does she mean by success handicap?" In this case, handicap is defined as: A mental disadvantage that when imposed, makes progress difficult.

Here's a little story that beautifully illustrates my point. A while back I was listening to a public radio segment about the remarkable increase in men, women, and even teens who are seeking plastic surgery as a means to self-improvement.

The segment host had assembled a panel of plastic surgeons who told shocking tales of countless clients requesting absolutely unnecessary cosmetic procedures.  The most memorable story went like this...

A middle-aged man came to a particular plastic surgeon in order to improve his looks. Upon examination, the doctor took notice of a pronounced bump protruding from the ridge of the man's nose and felt at once that a surgical procedure would definitely remedy the patient's displeasure with his appearance.

The doctor and patient scheduled the surgery soon after their initial consultation.  A few days after the procedure was completed, the man returned to his doctor to have a first look at the results. The man and his girlfriend arrived at the doctor's office with much anticipation.

The doctor proceeded to carefully remove the bandages from around the man's face.  Quite pleased with the outcome, the doctor handed the patient a mirror with which to admire the results. Upon seeing his nose for the first time, the man erupted in an angry outburst. Confused and alarmed, the surgeon quickly re-bandaged the man's face and told him that perhaps it was too soon to tell.

Another week passed and the patient returned with his girlfriend for a second look. This time the swelling had subsided and the doctor was certain that his patient would be pleased with the new look this time around.

Looking into the mirror, the man once again expressed his anger intensely.  At this point, the man's girlfriend gestured to the bewildered doctor to come into the hallway for a private conversation.  Once they were alone, the surgeon immediately turned to her for an explanation.  "Well" she said, "for years and years he's been struggling to make it as an actor with very little to show for his efforts. He goes on audition after audition, but almost never gets the part.  All this time he's been blaming his lack of success on his nose.  But the truth is that his acting ability is really very average."

The doctor understood at once when realizing that the patient had never expressly requested that his nose be altered.  He understood the man's profound upset at having had his mental crutch taken away from him. No longer could he place responsibility outside of himself.  No more would he be able to rely upon the convenience of blame for his unhappiness.

When I heard this story, I knew it would serve at the poignant foundation for an essay about cause and effect. Because the truth is that there are countless realities in which you may decide to live. But, in the end, those realities basically fall in one of two camps.

The first camp is that of EFFECT.  When you live in that camp, life is a never ending roller coaster with someone else at the controls.  When you live at the effect of external forces, it becomes difficult to escape the role of victim. The victim believes that their circumstances define and limit their lives and when the world is forever doing things TO YOU, the realm of possibility all but ceases to exist.

And yet, there is another way.  You see, we all possess free will and the ability to pack our mental, physical, and spiritual valuables and move them with greater purpose into a different reality.  And that is the camp called CAUSE.

'To cause' means to produce an effect and to live by that principle is paramount to claiming your rightful success. Choosing 'cause' is creating results for you and because of you.  Indeed, triumph depends upon absolute responsibility. And responsibility is an ability. It's the ability to respond to your own needs, your own path, your unique qualities, and that tiny inner knowing that guides on your journey to lasting success.

In the words of St. Francis of Assisi:

"Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

Here's my seven-day challenge for you:

Take an honest look at your life and identify any crutches that you may have come to rely on.  Crutches take countless forms such as lack of time and energy, bad relationships and meaningless jobs. Set your crutches aside, or better yet, ditch them for good with the full knowledge that countless humans have stood mightily in the face of far greater adversity than anything that you or I will ever know.  And as you step towards the unknown and into the great void in which all possibility resides, know with absolute certainty that at the moment you say "YES!" to your life that then, and only then, will your life say yes back to you.

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you an untouchable?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Are You Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired? Welcome back! One of the things that makes coaching really wonderful is the amazing variation of both clients and coaches.  Each client brings their unique history and characteristics to the relationship which makes the coaching process truly dynamic.  By the same token, each coach has their own perspective based on their individual experience and expertise. One of the elements that I bring to coaching is my skill as a Wise Woman herbalist.  While I'm not in the practice of treating ailments, I absolutely do bring my own understanding of the healing arts into play when coaching.  Knowing that will help you better understand our topic today which answers the question "Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?" It's no surprise that your energy level has everything to do with success.  Being energetic means having the capacity to undertake the actions necessary to reaching your goals.  My experience has made me acutely aware of how many of you have a real lack of energy on any given day. One of the definitions of prosperity is to be thriving.  And when all is said and done, can you truly be successful without also being vital and strong? Vitality is the capacity to live, grow and develop. If you're in a day-to-day struggle with simply living, then securing your vitality will be essential to your future progress and growth.  In other words, now is the time to redirect ALL of your energy into a commitment to your health and wellness. While that may include postponing what you'd hoped to achieve, it's unlikely that you would be able to produce the results you want if your current energy level is low. In the end, even your ability to enjoy what you've accomplished will be directly influenced by your vitality. Your singular focus on this goal is the one thing to which you must commit yourself fully if any of your dreams are ever to come to fruition. Guess what? Vitality is a choice! No, you can't pick and choose the germs that come your way but you absolutely can choose to prepare yourself for the eventual challenges to your health. This critical step may be the hardest for you to take if you've never developed a habit of making your own needs a priority. Vitality is the reward for choosing yourself again and again in the face of everything else. Life never stops demanding of you so, in order to meet those demands, you must learn how to be self-nurturing in order to claim the prosperity that's rightfully yours. All the medical advice in the world won't help if youre not first dedicated to your own well being. I can hear you asking: "You want me to put myself first? What about all of my commitments?" My response is, yes what about them? Only when you first honor your obligation to yourself, will you have the fortitude to honor what you are dedicated to.  So many of us have it totally backwards.  We go about life thinking we're obligated to all the things outside of ourselves when the truth is that you're fundamentally responsible FOR and obligated TO your SELF.  In other words, you are at the center of your own private universe.  You are the sun and if your sun shines brightly, every one that depends on you will benefit.  Conversely, by not honoring or choosing to meet your basic need for wellness, you'll repeatedly compromise your own physical integrity to the detriment of everything orbiting about your sun. So... if you've ever needed permission to give to yourself, I hope you now feel that you have it! If you're ready to take charge of your health, it would be wise to do so consistently and incrementally. Radical changes are too difficult to maintain but new habits can be forged with repetition over time. Forget resolving to change because 72% of resolutions fail.  Simply set an intention in writing to yourself, knowing that you're human and that rigid adherence to rules will only serve to set yourself up for failure.  There are simple methods you can use to recharge your basic energy levels. Start by picturing what being truly healthy looks like. To me, vibrant health is like a bouquet of gorgeous flowers that command the attention of anyone in their midst. I like the idea of modeling myself after that which perfumes the air with beauty and energy. If you'd like to express the qualities of a flower in bloom, start by thinking like one. Ask yourself  "If I were a flower, what would I need?" The answer is simple:. sunlight, water, air, and food or, in terms of the four elements, fire, water, wind and Earth. These are what I call Elemental Energies and they're as critical to your survival as they are to a flower in the garden. Botanists know that there's very little that distinguishes the animal kingdom, which includes humans, from the plant kingdom. In fact, the only cell that separate humans from flowers is something called a chloroplast. A chloroplast is an organelle that allows plants to collect sunlight through photosynthesis and to store that energy in the form of carbohydrates. Because you lack that ability, you're dependent upon the food energy found in what you eat. Once you understand that basic principal, it�s easy to see why a diet of processed food has little to offer in the way of replenishing the energy your body requires. As you can see, spending your life inside of cars and buildings deprives you of the elemental energies your body depends on. As singer and songwriter Janis Joplin once said "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."  Here's my 7-day challenge for you: Today you have a choice: to re-energize yourself and then your dreams and goals. I recommend that you do that at least once, but preferably three times a day, by setting an intention to eat life-giving foods.  Because food naturally contains all four Elemental Energies, what you eat represents the single biggest impact you can have on your overall health, not to mention the health of entire ecosystems! If you approach your relationship with food as you would a romantic relationship, you'll find that the comfort foods that bring immediate pleasure just don't make for lasting love. Wouldn't you rather have a long-term liaison with what serves you day after day? You can do that by selecting those foods that are colorful, fresh and bursting with the energy that hasn't been lost through processing. Begin by eating locally grown, organic foods just once a day and you'll start to notice that you feel recharged by the abundant power in Earth's endless rainbow of colors and flavors. Like all of life, this is a process of learning to receive the gifts being offered; the more you need, the more you need to practice receiving the bounty that is always available to those with the courage to ask for it. Please join me next time when I ask "Do you have a success handicap?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Welcome back!

This week's topic asks "Are your dreams living or dying?" My question is about recognizing that while you go about living your life that your dreams may feel as though they're dying in the process. So, what can you do to give your dreams the life-giving energy they require if they are ever to become a reality?

Well, if you're like most people, you may already be running full speed ahead and the thought of doing more in hopes of reaching your goal only lends itself to your sense of overwhelm. That scenario is typical of the cycle of negative thinking that's common with coaching clients.

Such cycles begin with a feeling of OVERWHELM which is a symptom of scarcity consciousness that expresses itself as "I cannot do enough, be enough, or accomplish enough". The busyness of life perpetuates the belief that, when you have satisfied others and when you have completed your endless incompletions, that your energy and focus will be redirected toward your dreams. It begins with recognizing that that is not so, and never will be.

If what I'm describing to you rings a bell, it suggests that you have a significant chance to prevent discouragement from turning into the hopelessness related to our growing epidemic of depression. This is an opportunity you definitely do NOT want to miss. Feeling hopeless is just that, a feeling based on your interpretation of circumstances. It's not to say that HOPE doesn't exist for you, but only that your awareness is out of alignment with what's actually possible for your life.

In fact, optimism is a perspective which is critical to keep in mind once you understand that your dreams will either live or die by your own choosing. So, why choose hopelessness when it has such grave consequences?

A study by the American Heart Association shows the direct effects of psychological well-being on our bodies. It identifies hopelessness as 'a strong, independent predictor of cardiovascular disease morbidity and mortality in American populations'. Heart disease, as you know, is a leading cause of death in the U.S. Having said that, you can see that keeping your dreams alive may indeed keep YOU alive! 

So, you ask, what medicine will cure the dying dream? Imagination of course! It's time to return to envisioning your future. Dreams have been described as Sleeping Visions. But dreaming is best accomplished not in a passive way, as while sleeping, but in an active and proactive fashion.  It's what I call Dynamic Dreaming.

So, let's do some dynamic dreaming right here and now by taking the following 7-day challenge quiz:

1. Where have your dreams gone?
Begin by considering the distinction between vacancy and dormancy. That dreams die altogether is an illusion. In other words, you may have allowed them to fade into the invisible realm yet there remain countless opportunities to re-vive your dreams by breathing them back to life. Breathing life into anything is the definition of inspiration. It's a matter of identifying and incorporating those inspirational sources, such a people, books, poetry and art, that literally energize you and your dreams.

2. How have you been willing to compromise your dreams?
What priorities have you been living by? And how have those priorities served you? When answering these questions, it may be helpful to hold your wish list against a list of what you deeply value and notice if there are any apparent contradictions.

3. What dream do you now choose to resurrect?
Start with a single dream. If you're unclear, think first about what you presently desire as old dreams may no longer be valid in your current life. Make certain these dreams originate from you, and not from others whom you wish to please.

4. Where does your desire come from?
Understanding the origin of your aspirations will provide you a stronger grasp of how to bring them to fruition. In truth, it's about getting really intimate with what you desire in a way that forms a never-ending relationship between you and the future experiences you long for. The origins of the word desire (to long for or wish for) are inspiring all by themselves. They point to an 11th century Latin phrase meaning 'to await what the stars will bring'. What a beautiful image to hold as you look skyward and reconnect with what longs to be alive in you.

5. Will you let yourself DESIRE again?
Desire is the quiet song of hope that never completely fades. It's an underlying yet powerful force that motivates you day after day, even when your actions don't answer that desire directly. It's that sound you hear at night, lying in the dark; the voice that, when ignored, begins to hassle and haunt you to take action towards conceiving and eventually birthing what will never be if you don't first choose to it to be.

In the words of former U.S. president Theodore Roosevelt:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat."

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!

This week we're going to have a little fun by swapping our planned topic for a delightful interview with yours truly conducted by the founder of Sister Space Radio, Sharon Riegie Maynard. Sister Space is an online radio program featuring conversations with women leaders in the world.

 

Sharon's program is a place where women can learn, be challenged and network with each other. Her passion is to inspire women to step up to their responsibility to direct and protect our world, our country, our communities, families and selves.  And she says, that when we accept her challenge, that men will equally show up, ready to work together in weaving a unified global family.

 

I hope you'll take a minute to visit Sharon's web site at SisterSpace.net

And now on to the interview... Enjoy!

Welcome back!

For this week's episode, I'd like to ask you a question that may seem a little silly.  Will the glass slipper fit you?  It doesn't really matter if you're a man or woman, because we're all familiar with the story of Cinderella. And we all understand that the glass slipper remains a powerful metaphor for success; for having made it.  I'm betting that you have your own idea of the kind of triumph you want most and of the magnificent experience of trying on true success and having it fit you in a positively perfect way.  At the same time, I'm guessing that the glass-slipper experience you've dreamed of may have never materialized, leaving you on the outskirts of real success, leaving you feeling like an outsider. Well, if that describes your experience, then you should know that you're hardly alone. In fact, you'd be amazed by just how much company you really have.

 

It seems that throughout my life, I've never quite "fit". I literally did NOT fit.  I endured horrible teasing in my youth simply because I was taller than just about anyone in my school... even the boys!  By the tender age of 13, I'd already passed 5'10" which was only complicated by bad hair and a mouth full of braces. The boys wouldn't even approach me much less ask me to dance and I'll never forget accepting the kind offer to dance with my teacher, Mr. Baysinger at the 6^th grade graduation dance. Looking back, I realize how compassionate he was not to let me spend the entire evening as a terribly awkward wall flower!

 

I struggled for decades with the loneliness that accompanied the sense that there might be something wrong with me. Yes, I had friends but at the same time, I felt different although I'd never admit that to anyone back then. I know how much courage it takes to reveal that you feel misunderstood. Do you feel misunderstood too?  If so, you'd be surprised by how many others share your sentiment but who fail to express it was any real honesty. Being honest isn't about making your self vulnerable, but about taking off the mask that says "I'm okay".

 

So, I want to invite you to have a relationship with yourself that's truly truthful.  It's not about what you tell others.  It's about what you tell yourself and your soul.  The point is not to make others like you or to secure their acknowledgment and approval.  That's neither desirable nor realistic. The point is that YOU will acknowledge you by honoring your self with the naked truth.  And if you do that, imagine the time and energy you'll have gained once you decide to stop trying to be likeable and stop saying "yes" to everyone. That will require you to like and say YES to yourself! And only when you've done that, will you learn how to accept and fully appreciate your unique gifts consistently and sincerely; and then you'll experience what it feels like to genuinely fit. That means setting your own terms and meeting with your own approval... not your parents, spouse, boss or friends.

 

For myself, I finally decided that I simply would not fit anyone else's mold and, until I designed my own glass slipper (an 11 wide to be precise), I would perpetuate my own forsaken Cinderella drama. When you find yourself able to genuinely appreciate the only YOU there will ever be, others will amaze you by doing the same! Then you can go still further to reveal yourself fully. Reverence means 'something that's entitled to respect'. That's the definition of self-esteem.  You can move beyond esteem to express your talents, truths and character; now seeing that you have created the experience of powerful recognition from those in your life by way of revealing your unedited self.  And along the way, you'll come to discover that Believing is Seeing! ^SM

 

In the wise words of author Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

 

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Ask yourself "Who would I need to be to really appreciate and choose myself?" Start small, at the base camp, not the summit while remembering that the process is preferable to perfection. Choose one or two do-able steps to act as a trailhead for your journey. Then list what resources you might need to get to the next camp. Your list could include supportive friends and family, a time or other written commitment to yourself, etc. Think about what tools are at your disposal and how you can leverage them to achieve your goal.

 

By making the effort in earnest, you'll learn to trust that what you need will come when you need it. That can be aided by keeping written affirmations and notes where you can see them daily. By putting your intention on paper, you then remind yourself to add action to your intention. With repetition and consistency, you will create transformation. Being flexible with yourself is also critical to your process. That being said, recognize that change encourages more change, more growth and new directions. Your life has more in store for you than you could possibly imagine!

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Are your dreams living or dying?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

 

 

How Can You Win If You Don't Play?  Moving from fear into action!

 

Welcome back!  Today's topic is one I know will resonate with you because if you're alive, you know what it feels like to be afraid.  Overcoming fear is something I work on both personally and professionally. Being an effective coach involves constant support of clients like you by way of helping you to shift perspective.  When you have a new perspective, a fresh look at possibility, you come to understand that what you once perceived as barriers were merely obstacles disguised by fear. 

 

From that standpoint, the fear of failure and the subsequent inertia it creates, are effectively eliminated. You may notice that I said effectively eliminated because the truth is that your fear response, as an essential function of your survival mechanism, will never be completely extinguished.  That's not the goal really. Fear can serve you appropriately under the right circumstances so the real intention is not to get rid of fear, but to learn to overcome it as often as you want to.  No longer will you avoid trying altogether; no more will you be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

So, if you're feeling stuck, take a good look at how fear plays a dominant role in that scenario. When you understand that, you're given a new chance to shift yourself from a supporting role into a leading role in your success through the power of volition. Volition is a choice or decision made of your own free will. Isn't that exciting when you stop to think about it?

 

Better yet, the word VOLITION is from the Latin word VOLO which means 'I wish'. So, let's get creative!  What do you wish for?  Do you want to win the lottery? Do you want to win at love? The fact of the matter is simple: Life is like a lottery. You've got to step up and get your ticket to be in the running at all! If you don't play, you can't win. There's something thrilling about knowing that you've got a shot at the jackpot!

 

Now, by exercising YOUR free will, you can begin to move forward. Through volition, you're taking the most critical, even if imperceptible, step toward success. By that I mean that using your will is an internal process that makes external action possible. The implication of intention or a volition distinguishes it from word shall, which implies obligation or necessity. And, as you already know, the chances of you doing what you don't really want to are slim to none.

 

Having said that, I recommend that before you move into the field of action, you first get really clear about what you wish for and what steps might take you there. Keep in mind that life, by nature, is not linear so don't set yourself up for disappointment by creating expectations that any particular effort will result in any specific outcome. Remember, it's not about perfection, but progress towards your goal. And for every action taken, there will be a reaction or result; something to learn, something to add to the base of knowledge from which to take every subsequent step.

That is the process of evolution. And every time you evolve, you experience a personal victory, no matter the size. Acknowledging your victories is an essential rule in the game of life! Forgetting that rule will land you right back at stumped and stymied; do not pass go, do not collect one hundred dollars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once you've taken the critical first step, you can then say to yourself "I did it!" thereby creating the momentum that will drive you ever closer to making your wish come true. Above all, the effort in itself is a gift, not only to you, but to everyone able to witness your bravery. That is particularly true of children to whom you can give a legacy of strength and spirit.

 

That may bring up another kind of fear which is that others will see what you're doing and then judge the outcome.  In the past, you may have allowed that to stop you dead in your tracks. But knowing that the outcome is neither winning nor losing, but merely producing a result, you're freed from the need to add judgment to the equation. Simply move ahead and observe.

 

Effort is your expressed intention energized by ACTION. Physics tells us that energy, once released, flows infinitely outward. Because energy drives your actions, no effort is ever wasted. Instead, your assured win is invaluable in its ability to model courage for yourself and others. The word courage comes from the Latin coraticum or heart and remains a metaphor for inner strength. The courage to act will come when you become aware of, and respond to, the genuine yearnings of your heart.

 

From your heart-awareness, choosing to ACT is choosing to consciously open the gift of your life. It is accepting that it's okay to have what you want, and to give yourself permission for a change!  Choosing your SELF is not throwing caution to the wind, but rather an act of responsibility. Quite literally, it fosters your ABILILITY to RESPOND to our shared obligation to be joyful and whole. What better gift could you give the world?

 

In the words of Maxwell Maltz,

 

"Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not that one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one's ideas, to take a calculated risk... and to act." 

 

Here's my 7-day challenge to you:

Every time to notice yourself feeling stuck, decide to set the fear aside. Write down your fear on a piece of paper, fold it up and tuck it away from sight for the time being. Then bring your focus to the dream or desire you wish for. Now, remember that it's impossible to truly fail because you're always progressing through the process of cause and effect.

Simply imagine your self savoring sweet victory. Be present with the experience of having what you want; feel and know it to be so. From that happy encounter, you can plan when and how to execute your next step. As you proceed, find your way back to the experience of already having what you want any time that doubt or fear become obstacles on your path.

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Will the glass slipper fit you?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!  For the next few minutes, I'd like to talk to you about an important element of success that's rarely discussed and it has to do with envy.  I bet you've found yourself facing some predicament that led you to wish you were someone else, or somewhere else; perhaps where there are fewer demands and less stress or more money and more time.

I think we've all been there at least once, seeing through a subjective lense that the grass appears far greener on the other side.  The other side of what?  Of life?  Life is always bringing you new challenges as a necessary portal to your prosperity.  What I'm suggesting to you is that the greener side of success is not over THERE, but in HERE, in you, this very moment.

Claiming your most vital and verdant life requires a new way of thinking and being.  To truly "be" and belong on the greener side, will mean consciously stepping beyond the edges of your comforts zone.  And just to be clear, it's not a single step on your part, but a journey; the most worthwhile journey you can ever make.

Ironically, the distance you must travel is less than a foot and yet it takes some of us a lifetime to get there.  I'm referring to the few, but all- important inches, between your head at your heart. What I'm offering you is a powerful shift in your perspective on success; revealing to you that lasting success, satisfying success is not external.  It's not to be achieved, but revealed.

To believe that success is outside of you is just that, a belief.  It originates in the mind; the mind that seeks evidence to prove and disprove its own reality.  Your mind wants to be right, right?  It looks for proof because the brain, by itself, doesn't believe in any success it can't perceive.

Here's a quick quiz to see whether or not you're stuck in your head:

Do you worry a lot?

Keep in mind that fear is nothing but a mental projection of future events.

Do you get caught up in mental loops?

Obsessive thinking results from the head needing to know why, when and how.

Do you engage in compulsive behavior? 

What we call "bad" habits can point to chronic neglect of your matters of the heart.

Do you talk negatively to yourself?

This is your inner critic at work who evaluates and finds fault with itself and others.

Are you angry or controlling?

Even feeling OUT of control suggests that your head, and not your heart, is dominating your experience.

I can see myself in all of those behaviors, can you?  Retreating to your head is a learned response to feeling vulnerable to outside elements.  But your mind is not a bastion, it's just comfortable.  It doesn't provide lasting security, only familiarity.  We grow up feeling safe with what we already know and fearing what we don't.

So, are you ready for the key to success and the greener side of life?  It's simple really... your head and your heart must work together in powerful partnership.  That mind-body alignment is absolutely fundamental to the synergy of success.

Synergy is the cooperative interaction of two forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.  When you've attained a synergy between heart and head, you'll begin to notice what the greener side feels like:

You're Present - centered in the now, not in false expectations.

You're Available - to yourself and those that look to you.

You're Grateful - because in the heart, you're in the company of all life's sweetest blessings.

You're Creative - as you reveal your unique gifts to others through loving intention.

You're Confident -  because in your heart, you're connected to your core value, leaving no room for doubt.

The 13th century Persian theologian known as Rumi once wrote:

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

Here's my 7-day challenge to you:

Your first step is becoming aware which means that when you find yourself fixed in worry, mental loops, or self talk, simply stop.  Take notice of what you're doing.  Close your eyes and imagine a tunnel of light connecting your head to your heart.  Enter into and descend through that passage, remaining focused until you arrive at your open, luminous heart.

Choose any of the heart elements and be present, grateful, creative, and confident from that place.  Allow your intention to become real without hastening or forcing, but stepping aside into the full knowledge that your mind's greatest intelligence and your heart's deepest wisdom have joined in a potent partnership of good.

Please join me next time when I ask "How can you win if you don't play?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Is frustration your affliction? Learning to live on purpose!

Welcome back! The topic of this week's episode is pretty juicy as far as I'm concerned because it deals with something that plagues each and every one of us: frustration. Good old frustration... we've all been there from time to time. But this is not a conversation about the isolated hair-pulling, teeth-grinding incident, but about the chronic frustration that may derail you on a regular basis. "Is there a cure?" you ask. Of course!

To remedy this affliction, you must first understand frustration on the most basic level. So let's answer the primary question "What is Frustration" with the following definition: 'To prevent from accomplishing a purpose'. It's plain to see that feeling frustrated is merely a symptom, not the problem itself; the underlying issue actually being the prevention of 'purpose' which is 'the objective for which someone exists'.

A sense of purpose is something that countless others, just like you, are either lacking entirely or have ongoing confusion about. And frustration will continue as long as you neglect its source; so stop circling the obstacle and turn it over to see what's been living beneath it all this time!

When you do that, you'll come around to the juiciest question of all. "What's the purpose of my life?" is the proverbial question we all have to ask ourselves sooner or later, if not again and again. Only when you know how to answer that, will you fully resolve frustration at its source.

Like so many things, discovering your purpose is a process. But even small steps towards clear purpose can begin to alleviate the symptoms of frustration.  And no step along your way needs to be taken alone which is why we all need strong allies, mentors or coaches. Yes, I too have a coach who I hired because of her specialty with supporting writers.

You see, I'd wanted to write for years but felt thwarted by huge life changes, parenthood, obligations and so forth. I only began to write my first articles as homework to be seen by no one other than my coach. I wrote them never knowing who else might see them and certainly not with the thought that I would later become a coach myself, much less a podcaster and blogger; all as a result of my first attempts at writing.

So the work I did, and continue to do, with my coach meant setting a goal: to write just ten articles while juggling single parenthood, divorce, full time work and deep spiritual healing. I wrote about the things that interested me, perplexed me and rewarded me. Having an accountability partner that I knew would be holding me to my commitment was an integral part of taking those first important steps.

And after reading my early articles, her comments changed the course of my life. She said "Did you know you're a coach?" "What?" I replied. "You're a coach!" she said again. "Just read what you've written and you'll see that coaching is exactly what you're doing!" It was her valuable input and support that lead me to later pursue my coaching certification and to discover my purpose of healing with the powerful medicine of words; compassionate language that inspires positive change.

What I love about that story is that is so clearly illustrates how the path to purpose is steeped in wonder because all paths to our future require the courage to enter the unknown; not knowing what you'll find and, more importantly, not knowing what will find you!

Now that I'm a coach, one of the goals of my practice is to empower clients like you to live YOUR life on purpose. It's interesting that the meaning of the term 'on purpose' is literally 'by design'. So, are you ready to live your life by design? To do that, you must first accept that there's no predicted outcome for your life based on your history. Once you get that, you're then free to powerfully imagine your purpose through the creative design process. Just think of it as Dynamic Dreaming! Yes, it's up to you! How wonderful, how thrilling, how unbelievably scary!

Wouldn't be easier if we were just told what to do? Well, we were... by our parents, teachers, friends and bosses and all the while wishing for complete autonomy. Oh, to savor the sweet flavor of self-determination. Freedom at last!

I hereby confer upon you the power to design your way to the boundless, unique, expansive and sumptuous life that's yours to be claimed through creative action. You have, this very moment, been liberated to pursue a life that's so happy it isn't respectable! Isn't that funny? To think that you should limit your joy and brilliance to satisfy the narrow confines placed upon you by others. I tried that to no good end and I'm guessing you have too! Let's try it another way!

Creating and later manifesting your design is not only deliciously entertaining, but is your duty to yourself and all life around you. For when you are living on purpose, you're being wholly yourself, completely in your power, in your domain and your delight which is the single, best way to live by brilliant example. When you are THAT engaged in shining your light, you're equally an outstanding parent, worker and citizen for everything will grow in your radiance. Indeed, the many shadows of the world command that you illumine the darkness before you as an integral function of your true purpose.

It was Harold Thurman Whitman who said:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs - ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Here's my 7-day challenge to you:

Step 1: Recognize that purpose will change as you evolve, so be fluid with your plan.

Step 2: Expect many possible directions because all creative work is a process.

Step 3: Choose not to judge that you don't have the answer by now.

Step 4: Make friends with the unknown by setting aside 20 minutes a day to explore whatever you feel like doing in that moment (*not what think you should be doing, but what feels like play, think "I am playing on purpose". This step is about experiencing the powerful flow of life energy that's always available to you!)

Step 5: Start noticing patterns in your play time: what do you repeatedly return to and why?

Step 6: Take notes of how you experience different activities or areas of interest.

Step 7: Begin to plot your map to purpose by indicating milestones of clarity, development and progress.

Keep in mind that setting aside your Playing On Purpose time is most effective when it take its rightful place at the top, I repeat the top, of your to-do list. This kind of personal effort is NOT the reward you give yourself for finishing everything else. Playing is critical to making friends with the unfamiliar or uninitiated facets of your self. You'll learn to stop fearing what you don't know by bridging the distance between the current and future expressions of yourself.

Remember, play time is not your perk, but your work. It's work that no one but YOU can do and, by avoiding it, you'll only perpetuate frustration and lack of purpose. By committing to the steps above, you'll begin to connect the dots; eventually mapping out your future from what first appeared to be faraway points and unreachable destinations.

Please join me next time when I ask "What side of the tracks do you live on?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Are you too sensitive? 

 

Welcome back!  As a life coach I rely heavily on my intuition.  Particularly in recent years, my sixth sense has improved considerably both in strength and accuracy.  The benefit of a well-developed inner guidance can never be quantified.  My clients, and especially my close friends, often ask me how I came to be so intuitive. They too want to cultivate their precious ability to discern the often subtle signs on the road to peace and prosperity.

 

This leads me to our topic and the question "Are you too sensitive?"  I'm guessing that at some time in your life, someone has told you that you were being too sensitive. Most likely it was their attempt to deflect responsibility for some remark they made; a comment that you probably didn't appreciate much.

 

In order to get really clear on this point, it's important that you be able to distinguish sensitivity from reactivity.  Statements such as "too sensitive", "too pushy" and "too spoiled" are really only judgments. And it comes as no surprise that feeling judged by others generally leads to a defensive position.  Just remember that your reactions come from and belong to you alone.  In other words, the next time you hear a judgment, simply be aware of how your limited thoughts can trigger negative interpretations of what others say.  Are you listening from fear?  Do you give a knee-jerk reaction whenever someone trespasses upon your deepest apprehensions?

 

If so, you can start by swapping the common definition of sensitive meaning: easily affected or hurt with the uncommon definition: responsive to slight changes of condition. And before I go any further, let me say that YES, there IS a connection between your intuition and your sensitivity.  To that let me add that there's no such thing as being too sensitive in my opinion.

 

The truth is that sensitivity, as it relates to your sixth sense, is absolutely and critically dependent on your ability to discern faint shifts in your immediate environment.  That environment can be both external and internal. Those small changes can pertain to both the visible and invisible realms.

 

By visible I'm referring to what you can detect with your senses of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Did you know that your sixth sense is dependent upon your other five?  Intuition doesn't happen in a vacuum but rather works by relaying valuable, and mostly tiny, bits of information to your awareness by way of that remarkably perceptive instrument called your body.

 

By contrast, information received from the INvisible realm means that, because you cannot detect the intangible with your five senses, that the knowing you have is experienced on the visceral level. That means you feel an energetic response in your body, also  called the sixth sense. That's why people say "trust your gut" and "good vibe" or "bad vibe". That kind of feeling doesn't originate in the mind but on a deeper, physical level.

 

The cues you get, even though small, are happening all the time if you're sensitive enough to pick up on them. The key here is not to confuse what is infinitesimal with what is insignificant.  There's a huge difference between the two! And as luck would have it, your intuition has a built-in safeguard. If you do ignore your wee voice of wisdom, the universe has an uncanny way of gradually stepping up the volume until the point at which you become conscious of the message being sent. The longer you deny the content of that message, the more pronounced or more painful the method of delivery becomes. This is commonly known as the "2x4 approach and it's not hard to find the 2x4 scenario playing out as never-ending drama in people's lives. Sound familiar?

 

The best part is that everyone is blessed with intuition.  It's just a matter of whether or not you choose to honor and hone this skill to your best advantage. And again, that's a matter of your choosing.  Many people, particularly those in pain, choose not to acknowledge their own inner guidance.  Instead they opt to numb their receptive channels through an infinite list of distractions including television, cell phones, drugs, self talk, food, sex, the Internet and so on. Those are simply coping mechanisms that actually delay healing of the underlying issue.

 

Don't think for a moment that I'm not talking from personal experience.  I'm going to share with you a rather painful and personal moment of awakening in my own life.  In the last few years before my divorce, I was increasingly unhappy and pretty heavily in denial about how bad my marriage was. Like many people, maybe even you, I found that food was a quick and reliable remedy to my suffering. Of course the reality is that food, like most things, is not really a remedy to anything but hunger.  And my hunger wasn't physical, but emotional and spiritual.

 

One afternoon many years ago, I walked into a local donut shop where I stopped from time to time and picked up a real estate magazine.  I approached the counter and, before I could speak, the young woman working there said "Maple old fashioned?"  My heart sank and my face burned. Yes, that was the doughnut I always ordered. And it wasn't until she anticipated my request that I had any awareness that I was going there frequently enough for her to know my preference. I seem to recall that I responded with a dazed "Uh huh" before leaving with my maple old fashioned and then going to my car to cry.

 

She didn't mean to hurt me but to serve me.  And serve me she did.  All at once, I was painfully aware of my habit of an afternoon pick-me-up consisting of dreaming my troubles away in the pages of new homes with a sweet self-indulgence in the other hand. It was my escape until I finally realized that my happiness had, in fact, escaped me. Indeed, my sensitivity had done exactly as it was intended to do.

 

Being sensitive is an invaluable gift to you; a means to surviving and thriving that's been passed on to you by all those that came before.  So use it well and learn to discriminate and to choose wisely.  Then you may always trust that your decisions are good ones for your intuition is the servant of your heart; forever assisting you in making the most of opportunity whenever it arises.  Remember... timing is everything so listen and learn in order to respond to the gentle knock of opportunity upon your door. 

 

In the words of Rachel Naomi Remen:

"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words."

My 7-day challenge is this:

Over the next week, begin noticing how quickly you react to others.  Connect to them by listening as deeply as you can.  Don't respond, simply listen.  When they've stopped speaking, connect and listen to yourself. Give yourself a few seconds before you speak to pay close attention to your interpretations. This exercise will be difficult yet very rewarding. See how well you do and let me know what you've learned from this challenge.

Please join me next time when I ask "Is frustration your affliction?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Welcome back! I'm about to ask you a question that you've likely never been asked in your life. The question is "What is the price of success?"

While you may not be able to answer that question right off, I bet that the longer you think about it, the more you realize that success indeed comes at a cost that most of us never think about. Americans are more affluent in terms of material wealth than they've ever been and yet many of them, perhaps even you, are really no better off when it comes to feeling deeply satisfied with life.

How does that happen? It happens because countless numbers of you may feel robbed of the joy of your success if it comes at a high personal price. It may come at the cost of your precious time and energy. It may come at the expense of being with loved ones or doing the things that give meaning to your life. That's the status quo approach to success which shows that your external prosperity comes about at the risk of your internal peace. So what can you do now if you realize that the cost of future success may be more than you're willing to pay?    
    
How you measure success is a mighty big consideration so let's begin by taking it in smaller pieces. You can start with the underlying question "What is the price of money?" At first glance, it seems like an odd question; perhaps because you've never asked it. Money is really just a piece of paper we assign a value to; a value that symbolizes tangible goods and human services. That's important to understand because if you've actually got some money, you may wonder "What have I traded in order to accumulate this wealth?"

I'm sure you're familiar with the saying "There's no such thing as a free lunch." Because the desire for financial wealth is so prevalent in our culture, you may have never considered the actual value of each cost associated with making money. Actually, money represents many resources: working hours, physical & mental energy, the natural resources you consume, and so forth. Within this context, that means the monetary success you've attained so far can be thought of as the direct dividend of your investment of human capital.

In a society that falsely believes in unlimited wealth, what you may not realize is that ALL resources are finite by nature. That can leave you feeling cheated if you recognize that the time and energy you invested in the past were not only finite, but are now gone forever. While that realization may be painful, it's an extremely valuable place from which to reassess your current trajectory and goals.

Taking stock means asking the right questions and because your time and energy are so valuable, it helps to know which questions deserve to be answered first. Take a good look at the reality of your life in this very moment rather than projecting on to an uncertain future.

Let's begin by answering these important questions:

1. What do you value? These are the intangibles of life: joy, relationships, independence, vitality, autonomy, etc.
2. What do you have of value? These are the tangible items: house, car, boat, electronics, jewelry, property, etc.
3. Do the answers to questions 1 & 2 support or conflict with each other?  In other words, does what you HAVE agree with what you want to BE?
4. What items from question #2 are you UNwilling to part with?
5. How much are you willing to pay from #1 (intangibles) to maintain #4 (tangibles)?

By finding your answers, you'll be in a better position to set long-term goals because you'll have gained clarity about future sacrifices and gains as they relate your own value system. Your answers will also help you assess how much you'll need to invest of yourself to reach the desired goal. You may be surprised to find that you're unwilling to sacrifice your finite resources for something you previously held dear.

For instance, after years of effort, I found that I was unwilling to continue in a business partnership that, while fulfilling on some levels, required more emotional energy than I was willing to give. While the decision to let go was difficult, the resulting sense of freedom proved that I had made the right choice. I was truly liberated, by my own determination, to pursue the next phase of my life with absolute focus. In that way, deciding what to do was actually about deciding what  NOT to do!

It reminds of a wonderful expression with says "Every exit is an entrance." I love that saying because it keeps me grounded to the knowledge that life is an endless cycle of endings and beginnings. By keeping that in mind, moving to the next phase of your life need not be painful. If you find yourself wanting to fully embrace and realize your dreams, it�s essential to remember that in order to grasp something new, you must first let go of what doesn't serve you.

There once lived a Roman philosopher by the name of Seneca the Younger who was born roughly four years before Christ yet his wisdom still holds true today. It was he who said "What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more."

My 7-day challenge for you is to first answer the 5 questions given earlier and then to begin examining the distinction between HAVING and BEING. In other words, does WHAT you want to achieve agree with WHO you want to be? Your answers will be the guidance you seek as you redefine the meaning and price of success for yourself. Follow the glimmers of truth that light your path and you'll discover the truly satisfying solutions that lay quietly within you.

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you TOO sensitive?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

 

Do you know the force of gratitude? How every day can be Thanksgiving.

 

There�s no doubt you�ve heard the expression �Gratitude is an attitude� and so it is. At the same time, gratitude is a wonderful topic to consider for the potential and instantaneous impact it can have on your life. An attitude is an expression of free will and an integral part of leading a fully autonomous life. It means choosing to honor what IS by simply acknowledging what�s presently taking place. Think for a moment about the lasting impact of an acknowledgement from someone significant in your life. And so, being grateful is a way of being; an experience you cultivate by choice. If there ever was a magic pill, gratitude is it!

 

To be in gratitude is to hold and admire the gifts of life no matter their size or origin. I discovered that the word gratitude is connected to the word grace. What a wonderful notion that whenever you adopt an attitude of gratitude, you invite grace into your experience. If you�re not the religious type, you certainly don�t have to think of this as God�s grace. In fact, words often have many definitions for you to choose from. You might prefer another meaning of grace such as: "pleasing quality or beauty of form and movement ". Imagine your life flowing with elegance in such a way that it�s a thing of beauty to notice yourself and to have others notice you living so gracefully. Yes, gratitude can do that.

 

And still there are more ways to describe gratitude and grace including "to praise or welcome". How lovely to realize that speaking of the goodness of your life then serves to invite and embrace even greater blessings. Think of it as the flow of energy. Gratitude begins a cycle that fuels the forward expansion of life. Without you as the instrument of that flow, the process would fail. Everything within your circle of influence is energized by sweet thankfulness whenever you open the gifts of the present. Yes, gratitude can do that too.

 

And it is just that, an opening. Being grateful, and thereby graceful, is about accessing the jewels once concealed by your heart. It�s a veritable treasure chest, open to shine its contents upon all onlookers. From that place, there is trust and confidence. From that place there is connection to the infinite within you and the endless rewards made available through appreciation. The door to your heart need not be closed for fear of theft. Closing the door through an unnecessary desire for security only serves to end that benevolent flow. It�s ONLY by choosing the experience of gratefulness in the HERE and NOW that you make yourself available to the living riches that exist for you in the days and years ahead.

It is that energy flow which begins to address the underlying force of gratitude. To be sincerely grateful for all that you have been blessed with, both tangible and intangible, means that you�re actively and intentionally creating a relationship with the best life has to offer. But how can you be thankful for the events of life that are painful? That is a matter of perspective. It�s a matter of honoring your pain, not as instrument of suffering, but as a profoundly wise teacher.

 

That was so of my marriage which ended after eight difficult years. Throughout the relationship I had been angry, sad, depressed and considered myself to be the victim. Had I been treated unfairly? Yes. Had I been shown on-going hostility? For sure. But my former husband was the single most powerful teacher I�ve ever had. He taught me how truly capable I am; that I can make good choices and safeguard my boundaries. Most importantly, his unwillingness to really show up in our marriage mirrored my own unwillingness to show up for me. Had he abandoned his spoken vows to me or had I unwittingly abandoned myself by never taking my own vow in the first place? How could I honor myself when I�d never acknowledged myself? Fortunately in the end, I never lost the true me, I only misplaced her temporarily. And when she returned, she came back more powerful, more resolute, and more committed to living with compassion and purpose than ever before. For these lessons, I thanked my ex-husband. I expressed my deepest gratitude to him for loving me enough to set me free. There is an expression which says �Before the bird can fly, the shell must break� which illustrates how painful fractures in your emotional body are in fact necessary openings to the blessings in store for you.

 

And you know, I believe my shift in perspective about my marriage fostered the strong friendship that he and I now have. It�s the relationship we never had when we were married and it�s the cornerstone of our raising a healthy, happy child together.

 

So I invite you to experience the force of gratitude in your own path to prosperity. In the words of Melodie Beattie:

�Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.�

 

My challenge to you is to express gratitude once each day for a week. Go beyond a simple thank you and let someone know how they made your life better. Make your Thanksgiving specific and personal. And know that your spoken gifts may be treasured for a lifetime.

 

Please join me next time when I ask �What is the price of success?�

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

What lives between right and wrong?

 

Welcome back!  This week's question is one I know will be relevant to each and every one of you.  The question is "What lives between right and wrong?"  The short answer to that is one you may not have considered.  The answer is REALITY.  Reality represents those infinite shades of gray that will ALWAYS exist between right and wrong.  Actually, there's an even more provocative question to consider.  And that is: What would it take for you to be happy with your present life?  How is it that you could embrace your current reality with both arms; the life that is flawed but true and firmly nestled between where you've been and where you're going?

 

If you're waiting for the pressing realities of life to evaporate, then I invite you to simply accept that they won't. If you're straining to cross everything off your list, then just know that lists never end.  This means that happiness is INSIDE of you, free from the uncontrollable life OUTSIDE of you.  In other words, being happy with your life right now is about being at choice in life instead of having command over it.

 

As you consider those questions, I want to highlight an underlying paradigm that likely affects your thinking without you even being aware of it.  By that I mean that we live in an "Either/Or" consciousness.  And the more aware of either/or thinking you become, the more you'll notice how that pattern shows up again and again. It's right or wrong, good or bad, rich or poor, ally or enemy.  The pervasiveness of that pattern didn't happen in a vacuum.  It's everywhere you look and with very good reason.

 

The purpose of that paradigm in our society is plain; its effect is to polarize individuals, communities, and even countries.  But either/or thinking isn't necessarily the result of harmful intent. It continues on in each of us that have fallen under the spell of scarcity.  Either/or thinking is the spawn of scarcity consciousness because it maintains the myth that resources are finite and that your very survival depends on getting your piece of the pie.

 

That way of thinking is to imply that the world is a place of HAVE or HAVE NOT and that competition is the best, or even the only, solution.  Think about it... how does the either/or paradigm influence foreign-policy?  How does it affect your personal policy?  You see, my friend, there is a third way.  It's the path of compassion.  Compassion exists beyond competition for it's rooted in your heart. 

 

Choosing from and acting upon compassion means to engage the most evolved part of your mind.  That part of your brain is called the Neocortex which is most highly developed in humankind.  It's beyond the limbic or primitive part of your brain which is concerned with life and death.  Life and death is the quintessential indicator that someone is operating from scarcity and from either/or consciousness.

 

And here's the really beautiful part: because you're capable of conscious thought, you ultimately decide which part of your brain you'd like to live from. YOU get to choose the road you take in life.  At each new intersection there are three possibilities.  To the left of you is prejudice and judgment.  To the right of you is tolerance and forgiveness.  And then there's a third way of compassion, community and communication.

 

I recently had a chance to take the middle road what I realized that I'd produced the first 12 episodes of my podcast with the wrong phone number!  The gentleman who'd been kind enough to do my commercial voiceover had recorded my toll-free number with not one, but two, wrong numbers.  And I'd missed it every single time for a dozen episodes that I'd listened to again and again before their release. 

 

When I first discovered it, my initial reaction was "Oh Shit, how did that happen?"  Then I launched into shoulding all over myself.  I should have caught that mistake.  I should have bit more careful.  But then I stopped.  I realized that there was no way to un-ring that bell so I called my producer who'd done the initial recording and had a good, long laugh. I laughed with compassion for myself because I saw how free I finally was for the symptoms of perfectionism.  I shared and connected with him.  I thanked him for helping me at all and simply made my request for a new recording.

 

It was a lovely experience for me to remain centered in my heart where there was no need for blame.  Compassion is the essence of creation.  Without it, you will not heal yourself or your relationships.  Without compassion, you will not transform your reverie into reality.

 

It's the words of Dan Millman:

 

"The universe does not judge us; it only provides consequences and lessons and opportunities to balance and learn through the law of cause and effect. Compassion is the recognition that we are each doing the best we can within the limits of our current beliefs and capacities."

 

My 7-day challenge to you is to begin noticing where either/or thinking is showing up in your life. See if you can find its source. And most importantly, use your creativity to explore the third path so that the road of compassion is the one you travel most.

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Do you know the force of gratitude?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Are you afraid to cry? The hidden power of tears!

 

Welcome back!  This week's subject is one I've wanted to write about for a while now.  So the question I'd like to ask is "Are you afraid to cry?"

 

In my experience, a vast majority of people I encounter seem to suppress their tears because our culture deems crying in public as unacceptable.  I wonder how it is that if you and I are to fully encourage success in life that we can also discourage our emotional response to that life.  It seems to me that inhibiting tears somehow means that you're strong and capable; unaffected by and disconnected from the influence of others.  What I'm suggesting is that to detach from others is to be invulnerable to one's self; to be invulnerable to your whole being, your whole life, and your whole good.

 

Not crying when you really want to is not risking but choosing safety.  To withhold your tears, whether painful or joyful, is to choose the gray fog of indifference to yourself.  That, my friend, is the definition of neglect.

 

In my own life, I used to wish I wouldn't cry.  My propensity for tears was always beyond my control.  I couldn't stop myself and yet, I didn't want to cry.  I didn't want others to see my pain or to know that I was lacking in confidence and self-discipline.  Most of all, I wanted to hide my feelings because I associated them with my mother.  I thought her tears were a sign of weakness.  I thought her emotional waves were the reason my father left us.  And if there was anything I didn't want, it was more abandonment.

 

I once believed that my ability to feel life so intensely was my greatest liability.  And, once I had a baby, it only got worse.  I could cry at the drop of a hat and ultimately I stopped fighting the tears.  I cried at home, at work, in restaurants and at meetings.

 

Then one day, a mentor of mine explained the true meaning of emotions.  Its translation entirely shifted my willingness to cry without judgement.  She told me that the word emote was Latin in origin.  She said that E stands for I and MOTE stands for MOVE. Emote means I-MOVE.  And the more I cried, the closer I moved towards the authentic me.

 

I discovered that my tears were a bridge to the intimacy I'd always lacked with myself.  And the more permission I gave myself to cry, the more people would come to me and say "Thank you.  You amaze me at how you can let yourself feel.  It touched me and I wish I could do that too."

 

And the truth is... YOU CAN! You can touch what's real and make contact with the hidden self.  You can taste the juicy sweetness of success that lies beyond sorrow.  Doing that requires that you shift your thinking by acknowledging emotions, not as your greatest liability, but as your greatest asset.  That means honoring my mother for her profound strength in being human, for she alone gifted me with the feminine power I now embody.

 

Letting go is so much easier to do when you understand that tears are the natural response to being provoked, excited or stressed.  That's why tears come in so many flavors: relief, joy, grief, anxiety.  Through tears, your body seeks to regain the balance that so many of us need.  Biochemist William Frey who wrote 'The Mystery of Tears' compared the normal moisturizing tear with the tear caused by emotion and found that stressful tears contained ACTH or adrenochorticotrophic hormone. ACTH is associated with high blood pressure, heart problems, peptic ulcers, and other physical conditions related to stress.  That's why you feel so much better after a good cry. You're literally washing away harmful hormones from your body.

 

So go on, let it out it and begin moving toward the personal prosperity within you.  Open the door to your heart by feeling what's there and keep that door open to all the goodness that may enter into the space you've created inside. In the words of Washington Irving:

 

"There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love."

 

My seven-day challenge to you is to simply feel what you feel, in real-time, with real purpose.  I encourage you to remember that anger is merely a mask for sadness and need not be directed at others or yourself.  You may find writing your unexpressed emotions on paper to be a cathartic exercise.  I'd also suggest safely burning what you've written in order to liberate that energy from your life.

 

Please join me next time as I answer the question "What lives between right and wrong?"  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Does anyone really need a coach?

Welcome back!  I've been looking forward to answering the question "Does anyone really need a coach?" because a majority of people don't know what a coach does or how a coaching relationship can be of value.

So the short answer is NO.  You don't really need a coach.  And yet there are many ways you can benefit from having a coach to help you transform the life you just live into a life you just love. The reason you don't need a coach is that there's nothing wrong with you.  Coaching isn't like therapy because we don't spend time unearthing your past.  Instead, a coach assists you in constructing your future.  In that way, therapy can be likened to archaeology and coaching can be likened to architecture.

Coaches don't diagnose you, fix you or identify your problems.  Instead, we recognize you as a whole and complete in your current state.  Rather than helping you become "better" we guide you to see and understand your limited belief systems.  Your self-limiting thoughts preclude you from realizing your inherent capacity and the subsequent joy that comes from expanding into the fullness of who you've always been.

How do we do that?  A certified coach has received training in listening to you at the deepest level.  We listen not only to the words you speak, but also to the energy behind the words.  We're taught to recognize patterns in what you say as well as to detect changes in tone, intensity, and emotion.  When we pick up on these subtle cues, we seize that moment to ask you an open-ended question.  A coach's question provides an opportunity for you to examine the validity and origin of your thoughts. 

Here's an example of what I mean:

During a recent coaching session, my client remarked that she couldn't handle lots of money responsibly. She was expressing some unexamined fear that effectively prevented her from receiving her highest good. My question to her was "When in your life did you have lots of money and not handle it well?"  To that she said "Well, when I was going through my divorce, I got into a lot of credit card debt."  So I asked "So then you didn't have a lot of money during that transition so you took on debt?" "That's true" she said and added "But I did spend a lot buying this house and going back to school."  By the end of our exchange she'd recognized that she'd actually never had a lot of money in her life.

She'd had enough to support herself and her son, have a roof over their heads and keep them moving forward but she'd really never had much more than was necessary.  I think my conversation with her illustrates the point that we all believe things about ourselves and our capabilities which really aren't fact but fiction. 

Erroneous beliefs come from many sources.  They're the product of believing what others have said in judgment of you.  They come from somehow believing that you are your circumstances. They come from your own inner critic who, with practice, becomes very skilled at convincing you that your results are inadequate or that you are fundamentally unworthy of the real success you wish for.

As a coach who specializes in healing scarcity consciousness, I often encounter clients who approach prosperity as having ENOUGH. But the reality is that enough is JUST ENOUGH to survive.  What I do is help you move from merely surviving to really thriving; from just enough to lasting abundance.

In the end, it's about recognizing that the signs of success are merely the evidence we sometimes use to convince ourselves that WE are enough.  And more often than not, life's trophies don't replace the inherent wealth you create from within.  And that's where the support of a coach really makes a difference!

So the magic of coaching is the result of making a commitment to and investment in your self.  The reward of such a relationship is the return on investment you get by putting your human capital where it will pay the highest possible dividend. I facilitate that by way of compassionate listening and reflecting back what I've heard in a way that allows you to see your beliefs as objectively as possible. 

While you'll always establish the agenda for the call and the action steps necessary to reaching your goal, I'll be your accountability partner and hold that space for you to live into the most dynamic, powerful, electric, joyful and succulent life you've ever imagined!

Author C.S. Lewis once wrote:

"Make your choice, adventurous stranger:
strike the bell and bide the danger
or wonder, till it drives you mad,
what would have happened if you had..."

My 7-day challenge for you is to identify the biggest, hairiest, ugliest belief about yourself that stands in a way of your true glory.  Think of it as a troll who forbids you to cross the essential bridge to your true prosperity.  But don't fear the troll. Learn its name, invite it to lunch, make friends with it, discover when and how it came into your life and by what means you've kept it alive.

Please join me next time when I ask "Are you afraid to cry?"  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Who Are You?

 

Welcome back!  Before we begin, I'd like to thank you for making the meditation on creativity my most listened to episode yet.  That's great inspiration for me to offer more of that in future podcasts. So, if you'd enjoy a meditation on any topic in particular, please share your ideas at feedback@peaceofprosperity.com

 

Now onto our subject.  The question I'll be asking is "Who are you?"  You know I got asked that very same question a few weeks ago at a powerful four-day symposium I attended.  The group at this event was one I'd describe as particularly clear, present and peaceful.  It was one of those rare opportunities in life when a gathering of virtual strangers seems like family.  And it was the loving acceptance I felt among this group of almost one hundred that enabled me to be absolutely connected to that animating life force that drives everything I do and everything I am.

 

One day I was strolling by myself down the hotel corridor where the symposium was held.  About 30 yards ahead of me was a man who was also attending this function but who I hadn't met yet.  Since we were both walking in the same direction, I don't know how it was that he sensed me from behind at such a distance.  But suddenly, he did a complete about-face and asked loudly "Who are you?" with a tone suggested I was someone worth meeting.

 

Even though I knew he was really curious about me, I found myself unable to answer at first.  I had an urge to look behind myself for the someone else he must have been talking to.  But knowing we were alone, I felt like saying "Who me?"

 

It was strange how off-guard he caught me.  Should I just say my name?  What would that really tell him about me anyway?  Or should I tell him what I do?  The oddest and perhaps most telling thing was that what wanted to slip out of my lips was "Oh me?  I'm nobody." But I didn't.  I couldn't.  Because to say I was nobody would be a lie.

 

To have let that escape would have meant singing that tired old song; those lyrics about my being invisible that once seemed so true but had long been exposed as a lie.  That falsehood was laid to rest through healing the wounds of divorce and finally, finally having the relationship I always wanted to have... with myself.  I stopped giving any power to the myth of being nobody, yet rarely have I ever been asked about the somebody I truly am.

 

It's me again and I just want to mention that my new private coaching discounts have recently posted to my site.  They include a generous savings for prepaid sessions so that the longer you commit yourself, the more you save.  You can find these new discounts on the FAQ page under the Start Here tab. And if you don't know what to expect from one-to-one coaching, then feel free to call me for a complimentary session by phone.  It's really important that you experience the power of personal coaching firsthand before you decide to begin any coaching relationship.  So, if you'd like to try it before you buy it, just give me a call at 866.374.8539 and now back to our topic.

 

So let me turn the tables ask "Who are you?"  Are you just a name, just a spouse, just a parent, just an occupation?  Can any label or title or persona even begin to contain the breadth and depth of you?  I'm guessing that somewhere along line you've asked that of yourself and the "Who am I?" question begets answers such as "I'm a winner", "I'm a loser", "I'm someone" or "I'm no one."

 

To answer that question is to assign some definition, to give an analysis and eventually a value to oneself.  And what that effectively does it limit you to a fixed concept.  Doing so is to deny the unstoppable forward progress of your humanity.  Labeling and otherwise limiting yourself, or anyone for that matter, delays the natural evolution that's possible IF you remain OPEN to the infinite field of opportunity.

 

So... if you find yourself asking or answering "Who are you?", I'm going to ask you a different and much more compelling question.  What are you? What is the stuff of your true essence?  What qualities invariably express themselves in what you do and what you are?  And most importantly, what needs to happen for you to live that truth in all situations, in ALL ways?

 

It was famed choreographer Martha Graham who said:

 

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there's only of you in all time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost."

 

My seven-day challenge to you is to reflect upon the essential life force within you.  Describe its qualities on paper so that you may regard them objectively as valid and worthy of being revealed to the outside world.  Because one day someone will ask "Who are you?" and then you may genuinely know and personify that sacred substance that is YOU.

 

Please join me next time as I answer the question "Does anyone really need a coach?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace. 

Are You A Perfectionist?

 

Welcome back!  I'm guessing that the theme of this episode will strike a chord with many of you. The question is... Are you a perfectionist?  The best way for me to address that is what a confession.  Yes, I'm a recovering perfectionist.  The wish to be perfect, or at least to appear perfect, is a lifelong affliction as far as I can tell.

 

My earliest recollections of wanting things in my life to be exactly right go back to grade school.  I can remember rewriting an entire page of homework if I made even a single mistake.  Why did I do that?  I think my drive towards getting everything just so was an attempt to get my father's attention by being the best I could.  I was one of five children, and after my parents' divorce, I went to live with my mother.  Having any significant time with my dad became very difficult by the age of five.  And having his undivided attention was virtually impossible.  But I set my sights on getting what I couldn't have in some respects.  My father loved me absolutely and yet he was supporting at least seven of us and running a fledgling business at the same time.

 

Trying to be the "good girl" was a role I unwittingly played into adulthood.  In a way, my desire to conform to what I thought he wanted me to be was actually an attempt to control what was essentially beyond my control.  And you bet that I carried that behavior on into my other relationships; especially with men.  I became who I guessed they wanted me to be and all the pretense only served to delay discovering who I really was.

 

If you share this affliction, then deep down you know how fruitless the pursuit of perfection really is.  Because in truth, perfection is an ideal conceived by the mind, that never manifests itself in reality.  It is in fact an illusion that's kept alive in our airbrushed and Photoshopped media.

 

Illusion refers to deceptive appearance and if you struggle with wanting the perfect body, the perfect lover, or the perfect job, then you're simply perpetuating what is false.  In actuality, life is never perfect because life is alive.  It's a process rather than a destination.  It's a verb not a noun.  In other words, I want to dispel the old adage that practice makes perfect.  I hereby free you from the prison of perfection by giving you the keys to what's real, to what can be achieved... and that's your potential.

 

The formula to realize your deepest capacity is simple.  You begin with a purpose to which you add practice.  Passionate practice gives way to proximity to the YOU you've always wanted to be. There is no perfection, just proximity, just nearness, just real intimacy and acknowledgment of the potential you have only to express.  So hang a note to remind yourself... purpose leads to practice that leads to proximity that leads to realizing your potential.

 

If you still find yourself confronting perfectionism, here's a process that may help: Begin with the decision to stop deceiving yourself and others into believing you're something you're not.  Your decision is followed by surrendering the false belief that being perfect is real and instead choosing to BE real yourself. 

 

Only then will you come to understand that people love you as you are. That's when you can begin receiving the love you want beyond the obligation of faultlessness. When the fantasy has been wiped from your eyes, and you consciously choose to stop the pretense of perfection, you extend a compassionate hand to your authentic self.  Caring for that person permits others to do the same.  Acknowledging the truth of your inherent value then liberates others to finally see and finally love the genuine you beneath a lonely veil.

 

It was once said:

Do what you want to do...

But want to do what you are doing.

Be what you want to be...

But want to be what you are.

 

As of this broadcast, I'm stepping up the frequency to weekly episodes which will be posted each Wednesday to give you a little midweek inspiration. As with my last podcast, I'll be encouraging you to take important action steps in the form of a seven-day challenge. 

 

This week's challenge is to commit yourself to seven days of authentic communication.  Say what's so, but speak the truth with compassion, particularly towards yourself.  Keep a record of any communication in which speaking honestly creates upset for you.  It's the difficult conversations that require further exploration because beneath the tension lay precious gems simply trying to break free.

 

Please join me next time as I ask the question "Who are you?"

 

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!  I hope you enjoyed my last episode on unleashing creativity.  The guided meditation it offers is a great way to begin inventing your future.  As you move toward your intentions for the year ahead, I think it's essential to first take an objective look at just where you've set your sights.  And doing that brings me to our question: "Are you putting the emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle?"

What I'm suggesting is that there's an alternate but effective way to get from point A to point B in the shortest time possible.  However, if you've got your priorities mixed up, the technique I'm about to share with you may have slipped under your radar altogether.  I'm guessing you're a lot like me... You want what you want and you want it now! If that's true, this podcast is going to give you a whole new way to have your cake and eat it too.  And that's the perfect segue into my next question: "What do you truly want from life?"

 

As a Prosperity Coach, those who ask what kind of work I'm in falsely assume that my job is to help people get rich.  If you've been following this podcast, you know by now that money is only one dimension of true wealth. The point is that where you put your emphasis makes all the difference in the world.  Emphasis is the importance you attach to something; something like becoming a millionaire.

 

For simplicity's sake, let's assume that that IS your goal.  Take a second to imagine what having a million dollars might look like.  Perhaps your picture includes:

-- a beautiful home

-- leisure time

-- social status or better relationships

-- or the wherewithal to make a contribution to society

 

Any of those ring a bell?  I'd like you to consider the following: that none of those outcomes is dependent on getting rich.  It's true!  The only difference that wealth makes in any of those scenarios is the scale on which you experience them. Here's an example to illustrate my point.  Let's say you're driving around in an old car.  It's got some dents, the stereo is broken and the fan belt squeaks, but it gets you where you want to go. One day, you trade it in and lease yourself a nice set of wheels that makes you feel more confident, more successful and, perhaps without admitting it, it makes you a little sexier too.  Yeah, this car is good for your image so you drive it around for a while until suddenly you lose your job.  Living paycheck to paycheck, you're forced to take it back and downgrade to a less expensive car.

 

The reality is that having something you judge as being inferior has no bearing on your value to the world... unless you say so.  The latest fashions, a bigger house,  a richer spouse... none of those things really make a difference if, when they goes away, your pride and identity go along with them.  Do you use life's luxuries as evidence to prove something to yourself?  Do your possessions have the distorted power to affirm your worth or do you acquire them so you can give yourself permission to experience more of life?

 

So, let me ask you again.  What do you REALLY want?  What are the pleasurable feelings you associate with having that possession or social standing? Do you need an estate with a garden and a nice tree to hang your hammock in?  Or could you simply allow yourself to sleep in the shade at a local park when your body calls for rest?

 

Do you need the degree to get the job to make the money to buy the tools to remodel the kitchen to house the fridge that keeps the food?  Or could you, just for once, feed your soul what it really needs; learning at last to open the invitation to the long-awaited feast of self-consent you've hungered for in vain?

 

Yes, to nourish your best self in the most essential way is to choose yourself right now!  It means to give yourself the permission only YOU can grant.  It requires cutting out all of the unnecessary steps between who you think you are and who you would allow yourself to be once you've finally met all of your conditions.

 

In the words of Sid Caesar "In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed."

 

Starting with this episode, I'm going to be inviting you to a 10-day challenge in order to support your prosperity practice.  Here's what I'd like you to do:

 

On a blank sheet of paper, list your starting position at the top (where your life is at now).  In the middle, write down your intended goal then fill in steps between where you are and where you'd like to end up.  At the bottom, describe how you imagine you'll feel upon reaching your destination.

 

The point of this exercise is to identify how it is that you can produce the desirable feelings you've associated with your goal without ever reaching that goal in the first place. I hope you find this challenge to be a valuable exercise to having just what you need, right when we need it.

 

Please join me next time as I asked the question "Are you a perfectionist?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome back!  I'd like to begin this episode by wishing you a wonderful new year; one that I know holds great promise and possibility.  New Year is a powerful opportunity to turn inward and reflect upon what's come about in the last year and what dimension of your potential remains in the unseen.

 

Rather than creating resolutions for yourself, I'd like to suggest that you set a personal and private intention instead.  Why?  Because resolutions are formal, public declarations about what you've decided to accomplish.  Resolutions can be rigid when it comes to reaching a specific goal or not.  I'm guessing that you don't need a club to beat yourself up with, if and when you fall short of your ideal.  More importantly, resolutions often involve feelings of vulnerability that come from declaring your pledge to others.  That aspect alone may make you hesitate to create resolutions in the first place.

 

So, what's the difference between a resolution and an intention?  Intention means 'to have purpose, to be eager or attentively occupied'.  I believe that intentions are more fluid than resolutions, and can better accommodate the changing dynamics of your life.  Intentions can expand and evolve along with you.

 

This topic is one I've been very interested in over the years, so I wrote a book that takes an in-depth look at why resolutions so often fail.  The book is called 'The Four Most Important Words To Success: Even If You Never Say Them Out Loud' and I'll be giving it a way to a few lucky listeners at the end of this podcast as my personal gift.  So keep listening for details on how to receive my book absolutely free.

 

In my last episode, I told you I'd have a surprise in store to unleash your creativity.  The surprise will mean a departure away from my normal question and answer format which I hope you'll enjoy. So let's get started on unleashing YOUR creativity...

 

Creativity is an essential element to transforming the life it you just live into a life you just love.  Creativity is not a thing that you either have or don't have.  Rather, it's a capacity; an innate skill that requires frequent use if it's to gain strength.

 

One technique for tapping into your creativity is to access the power of imagination.  You can best imagine by taking a short recess from reality.  We'll do that by way of a guided meditation I've prepared for you just ahead.  First, if you've never meditated before, I want to mention a couple of things.  Meditation isn't difficult or scary.  It simply means 'to engage in contemplation' or 'to plan mentally'. And that's just what you are invited to do; plan the life you truly deserve to live.

 

So, without further ado, I recommend that you find a quiet place to relax away from all distractions.  Get into a comfortable spot and close your eyes.  A few deep breaths may help you relax as we begin.

 

I invite you to close your eyes and to open your heart; to take a deep breath of possibility and to allow any doubt or anxiety to dissipate slowly, silently, steadily. And as you inhale, I'd like you to imagine oxygen penetrating deep within you, down to the depths of darkness in which a seed of hope lays dormant. This breath, and every one that follows, will cause this seed to glow as an ember glows, to grow as a seedling grows and to awaken the creative potential within you.

 

Behold the seed as it swells and ruptures. Take a moment and give this new life a name. Give it the name you've been wanting and waiting for it to have. And breathe. Breathe in the air that causes your seedling to unfurl with force and delight. You are its source of inspiration. You are choosing to provide a home and to give nourishment to what is now alive inside of you. You're feeding this small form with intention; watching the roots develop and take hold; seeing the ways in which the energy surrounding and filling you now cause the leaves to open, to reach and twist and become more.

 

Imagine for a moment your favorite flower and notice how this embryonic creation transforms itself into that flower. Envision its exquisite beauty and how that beauty radiates from within and beyond the physical body. See the blossom open gently and breathe. Smell the fragrance of life surrounding you now, flooding the room of your being with a delicate perfume. Hear the breeze as it blows softly by, safely carrying this scent into the broader experience of your life. Its sweetness calls to the determined bees that will pollinate this flower and carry your message to the realm of creativity inhabited by this new emerging life.

 

And now enter the birds to feast upon the countless new seeds birthed by your ONE; to scatter the fullness and wholeness of YOU from the soft blue skies. It's a thing of beauty to see still more expressions of you set wild roots amid the garden of humanity; trusting that all you need to do is breathe, believe and begin.

 

Breathe, believe and begin is the process of living the sacred self and is a matter of your choosing, at all times, in all matters of concern. For when you make this choice once and again, you're consciously aligning your intention with that of creative energy. And when you're engaged in marriage to the power of creation, you're wed to the infinite life force behind every manifestation, great and small.

 

This knowing is an expression of the divine within you, as you. It is celebration, it is providence, it is ALL. And to return at any moment to the sacred experience of your unlimited creativity, simply close your eyes and breathe.

 

When you're ready, slowly open your eyes and return to what's around you.  I hope you'll take a few minutes to make a permanent record, either in your mind or on paper, of what you've experienced.  What images did you see?  What invisible facet of yourself became visible in this process?  Everything that appeared in your internal field of vision is the collective fruit of your creativity at work.  And that's available to you any time you choose to activate that part of your intelligence.  My wish is that the images that came to you in meditation will form a foundation for the private intention you set for the coming year.

 

And, of course, I'd love to hear about your experience and to have you share this meditation on unleashing creativity with others.

 

And now about 'The Four Most Important Words To Success':  I'll send this e-book to the first 10 listeners who e-mail me at feedback@peaceofprosperity.com. Remember that's peace with an E not an I. Just put e-book in the subject line.  You don't need to provide any personal information and your e-mail will neither be recorded or used, ever.

 

Please join me next time as I answer the question "Are you putting the emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle?"

 

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

What do you do with desire?

 

Welcome back to the Peace of Prosperity.  Before I get to today's topic, I want to say thank you to my listeners who gave me their valuable feedback and made an important contribution to this podcast, which is a gift to me and the entire audience. I did forget to mention that you can always call me with your input on my toll-free number which is 866-374-8539

 

And now back to our subject:

I chose to approach the topic of desire during the holidays when we most often engage in expressing our current wishes while creating new goals to pursue in the year ahead. 'Tis the season of desires, large and small.  And desires must be distinguished from needs although I'm of the opinion that there's a direct correlation between the two. In other words, the more our needs aren't met, whether they be emotional, physical or spiritual in nature, the more we find ourselves desiring in order to compensate for those unmet needs.  But for now, the conversation about needs will have to wait for another episode.

 

Let's get back to desire.  One of the things that sets desires apart from needs is that they're optional, rather than required.  And being unnecessary, it's easy to get caught up in an inner monologue about whether or not you should indulge your desires, deny them or even worse, make yourself wrong for having them in the first place.

 

Now I want you to prepare yourself for the following statement which may run counter to what you were taught to believe.  And it is: there's nothing wrong with desire.  If you're still with me, I'm going to take it a step further by adding, there's everything right with desire.

 

Here's the truth: desire isn't sinful, immoral, or a sign of weakness.  To put it simply, desire is an unsatisfied longing.  We're not talking about acting upon your desires... yet, but only about how to approach the range of desires that accompany the human experience.  Here's my question to you: have you ever wondered why you have desire in the first place?

 

Desire is the silent voice of your unexpressed potential.  Desires are your constant companions for your heart or soul, or what ever you choose to call it, does not forget its hunger.  It does not go away just because you want it to or just because you neglect to answer its call.  Indeed, that's what's RIGHT about desire; how reliably it serves the evolving expression of your higher self.

 

In an age of polarity and competition, your desire deserves to be honored for its loyalty and determination.  Desire to survive, then thrive, and finally to contribute to life at large is what moves you forward.  Desire is what got you and me to this present moment.  That's just how it works.  And when you allow it to work... it's magic!

 

Believe me, the key to desires is in simply permitting yourself to tend to them.  I tried for years to ignore doing my life's work, and instead I did what I was trained to do, what paid the bills and allowed me to stay in my comfort zone.  But as time went on, guess what happened?  My comfort zone became increasingly UNcomfortable. Again and again, my universe brought me back to coaching, writing and speaking.  I eventually got more accustomed to acting upon my desires simply to avoid how painful it was to remain where I didn't belong.  And now, I can say "Yes" to my desires, "Yes, I am a coach", "Yes, I am making an impact!"

 

My request is that you let your dissatisfaction be your guide back to your longings and the unique truth that demands to be embodied by you. The word desire is powerful indeed; its origins are ancient and compelling.  At its root, desire means 'to await what the stars will bring'.  And the stars have brought you THIS message, through me acting upon MY desire to inspire your absolute success.

 

It was Joe Kapp who said "Success is living up to your potential.  That's all.  Wake up with a smile and go after life... live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it."

 

Please join me next time for a special New Year's podcast because I have a surprise in store for you to unleash your creativity.  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

How do you know when you're winning?

Welcome back!  It brings me great joy to be approaching my first 10 episodes and to watch the number of subscribers steadily grow as more of you join me to share the Peace of Prosperity.  Later in the podcast, I'll be asking you for a small favor and giving you an opportunity to play a part in future episodes.

Now to today's question: "How do you know when you're winning?" I loved thinking about how to answer that and about how it feels to really win at life. Well, if you've listened to my other podcasts, you�ve probably figured out by now that I've got a thing for words.  In fact, I'm a self-confessed word nerd.  So, you can bet that when it came time to record this podcast that, yes, I looked up the verb "to win".  And what I found truly surprised me.

It seems that the emphasis on winning is everywhere.  And it's easy to believe that winning is everything. Even the idea of the win seems to suggest that what's most important is getting to the grand finale and that your destination IS your success.  But did you know that the word "win" was not used to convey victory until the 19th century?  So, what does it really mean to win?  The original definition is 'to struggle or strive for'.  So, the more you do, the more you actually win.  And by doing more, I'm not talking about efficiency, but about consistency.

Here's a little story to illustrate my point.  A few months ago, I bought a 1940s bungalow that's just screaming for some TLC.  So, in the process of getting settled, I went to Target and bought this really cute little set of drawers.  At about nine o'clock, one night, I thought that I'd take an hour to assemble the drawers, and then get to sleep at a reasonable time. It was curious that the box said it was a heavy piece of furniture that required two people, but it only stood about 35 inches high by a foot deep once assembled. Well, I'm sure you can guess where this is going...

By one o'clock in the morning, it still wasn't done.  I kid you not, there were 12 different bags of hardware, and none of them contained less than 10 pieces.  So there I was, exasperated and blurry eyed.  One of the holes hadn't been bored out and one of the drawer rails had split off during shipping.

I'm sure you can just imagine me there with my power tools, wood glue and clamps as I realized that the second person required by the instructions was only necessary to prevent me from intentionally taking myself out with a dull drill bit. The thing was that while the little chest of drawers was almost done, I was still questioning why I'd started this thing and how I could once again delude myself into believing it was a quick project.

So, back to the question "How do you know when you're winning?" And keep in mind that the question is not IF you're winning, but WHEN.  Well, if to win is to struggle or strive then, by all means, I was definitely winning.  The point is that I don't think you really know exactly when you win in most cases.  You just keep plodding ahead, step by necessary step, and when you simply can't go on, you give yourself permission to stop and regroup without the need for judgment.  So I did. 

 

I dragged myself to bed and the next day, I completed the drawers quickly and from a much better perspective.  And life is so often just that way.  You move forward, exerting real effort but somehow your progress is hard to gauge. Eventually you get to a place, like the top of a hill you couldn't see, and from there, things get easier or pick up speed or both. For me, there was no great fanfare when I finally finished assembling the chest.  Because by definition, winning is a process rather than a point in time. There was just that delicious aftertaste of having finished the job and knowing the struggle was over. The real reward is in the closure for completion completes me completely.

Just remember, when you're really trying, the win is guaranteed because you are always learning, evolving your strategy and getting closer.  To strive is to win and to be a winner is to be successful and prosperous. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "A man is a method, a progressive arrangement, a selecting principal, gathering his like unto him wherever he goes.  What you are comes to you."

Earlier in the podcast, I told you I'd be asking you a small favor and here it is:

Please tell me about yourself, about the questions I might answer for you in the upcoming episodes.  I really want to connect with you and to evolve this podcast in the way that supports your highest good.  I'd love to hear FROM you and ABOUT you at feedback@peaceofprosperity.com

Please join me next time as I answer the question "What do I do with desire?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome!

Today I'm going to ask you a very important question.  It's a question that might make you a little self-conscious at first.  It may catapult you into judgment or discomfort or, perhaps, it will cause you to think.  And the question is "What are you wearing?"

 

C'mon...you can tell me.  Are you still in your pajamas?  Are you sporting a corporate look?  Are you wearing those old sweats with the comfy waste?  Now that I've asked, I'm curious about your reaction.  Did you look down at yourself?  Did you stop and wonder what the things you wear say about you?

 

In a status-conscious culture, it's virtually impossible NOT to assign some value to the ways in which we present ourselves to others.  That's particularly true of women who've primped and powdered, polished and preened themselves for centuries in deference to the men who once wielded the power of affirming or denying a woman her good fortune or even her future.

 

But... things have changed.  Or have they?  Are women, who now have the power to vote, to exercise birth control and to be wildly successful, not as objectified now as much as ever before? At any point in history have women been more willing to surgically break and enter into their own bodies for the sake of suggestion?  As if to declare solely by their packaging "I'm happy and whole, successful and strong."

 

The reality is that I'm no stranger to this phenomenon.  I grew up in the age of endless shopping malls and, in Southern California where I was raised, the pressure to be thin, gorgeous and forever bronzed is as strong now as it ever was.

 

But here's the thing: I really love being a woman.  I like wearing makeup and heels.  You know there's a lot of pleasure in putting on a beautiful dress and having my four-year-old son come in and say "Mommy, you look nice" with a little glimmer and a big smile.

 

And there's my point: that we so often believe only what we see.  We've been taught to look and label instead of listen and learn.  We even do that to ourselves.  Untold sums have been spent by marketers who'd have us equate looking good with feeling good and feeling good with a BEING good.

 

I'm confident that you know precisely what I mean about how success "looks" by today's standard.  I'm quite certain that at some point, you've walked past a woman who was perfectly coiffed and dressed in designer clothes; no part of her appearance overlooked with one exception... her face.

 

You know her.  She's the picture of perfection and the image of success until your eyes meet hers, and there you find an expression of pain or anger, sadness or maybe even absence.  She's there, yes; filling out the clothes.  But still, she is NOT there in a deeply fundamental way.  She's playing the part, simply going through the motions, while missing the essence of what it is to be truly present to the radiant spectrum that is life.

 

You may never understand her suffering, and yet, her struggle is not just hers, but yours and mine.  It's the pursuit of joy.  Mercurial and uncontainable joy is not something you own, but an experience you pursue every morning that you're lucky enough to be greeted by the sunrise.

 

So... what are you wearing?  How might you decide to dress yourself today in the brilliant power of a smile?  What would you need to choose that for yourself?  Would you choose it if you realized that the sheer power of a smile is the very joy it can no longer contain?  It's the genuine happiness that expands and then spills forth from you to quench a needful, grateful world.

 

And how might sharing a smile make life better for everyone who receives your gift?  Each recipient empowered to reflect your joy back up on you like a bright light that casts out shadows and invites you to blossom, perhaps a bit wider still.

 

So... here's my request.  Tomorrow, when you begin your day, please don't leave the house naked.  And when you dress yourself, remember this story and don't look down, but up.  Look upon yourself with gladness, just for the day.  Consciously dress yourself in the glamour and the goodness of an open, honest smile.  For a smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home.

 

Please join me next time as I answer the question "How do you know when you're winning?"

 

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.