Joyanne Sloan's Podcast

What do you do with desire?

Welcome back to the Peace of Prosperity.  Before I get to today's topic, I want to say thank you to my listeners who gave me their valuable feedback and made an important contribution to this podcast, which is a gift to me and the entire audience. I did forget to mention that you can always call me with your input on my toll-free number which is 866-374-8539

And now back to our subject:

I chose to approach the topic of desire during the holidays when we most often engage in expressing our current wishes while creating new goals to pursue in the year ahead. 'Tis the season of desires, large and small.  And desires must be distinguished from needs although I'm of the opinion that there's a direct correlation between the two. In other words, the more our needs aren't met, whether they be emotional, physical or spiritual in nature, the more we find ourselves desiring in order to compensate for those unmet needs.  But for now, the conversation about needs will have to wait for another episode.

Let's get back to desire.  One of the things that sets desires apart from needs is that they're optional, rather than required.  And being unnecessary, it's easy to get caught up in an inner monologue about whether or not you should indulge your desires, deny them or even worse, make yourself wrong for having them in the first place.

Now I want you to prepare yourself for the following statement which may run counter to what you were taught to believe.  And it is: there's nothing wrong with desire.  If you're still with me, I'm going to take it a step further by adding, there's everything right with desire.

Here's the truth: desire isn't sinful, immoral, or a sign of weakness.  To put it simply, desire is an unsatisfied longing.  We're not talking about acting upon your desires... yet, but only about how to approach the range of desires that accompany the human experience.  Here's my question to you: have you ever wondered why you have desire in the first place?

Desire is the silent voice of your unexpressed potential.  Desires are your constant companions for your heart or soul, or what ever you choose to call it, does not forget its hunger.  It does not go away just because you want it to or just because you neglect to answer its call.  Indeed, that's what's RIGHT about desire; how reliably it serves the evolving expression of your higher self.

In an age of polarity and competition, your desire deserves to be honored for its loyalty and determination.  Desire to survive, then thrive, and finally to contribute to life at large is what moves you forward.  Desire is what got you and me to this present moment.  That's just how it works.  And when you allow it to work... it's magic!

Believe me, the key to desires is in simply permitting yourself to tend to them.  I tried for years to ignore doing my life's work, and instead I did what I was trained to do, what paid the bills and allowed me to stay in my comfort zone.  But as time went on, guess what happened?  My comfort zone became increasingly UNcomfortable. Again and again, my universe brought me back to coaching, writing and speaking.  I eventually got more accustomed to acting upon my desires simply to avoid how painful it was to remain where I didn't belong.  And now, I can say "Yes" to my desires, "Yes, I am a coach", "Yes, I am making an impact!"

My request is that you let your dissatisfaction be your guide back to your longings and the unique truth that demands to be embodied by you. The word desire is powerful indeed; its origins are ancient and compelling.  At its root, desire means 'to await what the stars will bring'.  And the stars have brought you THIS message, through me acting upon MY desire to inspire your absolute success.

It was Joe Kapp who said "Success is living up to your potential.  That's all.  Wake up with a smile and go after life... live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it."

Please join me next time for a special New Year's podcast because I have a surprise in store for you to unleash your creativity.  Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

How do you know when you're winning?

Welcome back!  It brings me great joy to be approaching my first 10 episodes and to watch the number of subscribers steadily grow as more of you join me to share the Peace of Prosperity.  Later in the podcast, I'll be asking you for a small favor and giving you an opportunity to play a part in future episodes.

Now to today's question: "How do you know when you're winning?" I loved thinking about how to answer that and about how it feels to really win at life. Well, if you've listened to my other podcasts, youâ��ve probably figured out by now that I've got a thing for words.  In fact, I'm a self-confessed word nerd.  So, you can bet that when it came time to record this podcast that, yes, I looked up the verb "to win".  And what I found truly surprised me.

It seems that the emphasis on winning is everywhere.  And it's easy to believe that winning is everything. Even the idea of the win seems to suggest that what's most important is getting to the grand finale and that your destination IS your success.  But did you know that the word "win" was not used to convey victory until the 19th century?  So, what does it really mean to win?  The original definition is 'to struggle or strive for'.  So, the more you do, the more you actually win.  And by doing more, I'm not talking about efficiency, but about consistency.

Here's a little story to illustrate my point.  A few months ago, I bought a 1940s bungalow that's just screaming for some TLC.  So, in the process of getting settled, I went to Target and bought this really cute little set of drawers.  At about nine o'clock, one night, I thought that I'd take an hour to assemble the drawers, and then get to sleep at a reasonable time. It was curious that the box said it was a heavy piece of furniture that required two people, but it only stood about 35 inches high by a foot deep once assembled. Well, I'm sure you can guess where this is going...

By one o'clock in the morning, it still wasn't done.  I kid you not, there were 12 different bags of hardware, and none of them contained less than 10 pieces.  So there I was, exasperated and blurry eyed.  One of the holes hadn't been bored out and one of the drawer rails had split off during shipping.

I'm sure you can just imagine me there with my power tools, wood glue and clamps as I realized that the second person required by the instructions was only necessary to prevent me from intentionally taking myself out with a dull drill bit. The thing was that while the little chest of drawers was almost done, I was still questioning why I'd started this thing and how I could once again delude myself into believing it was a quick project.

So, back to the question "How do you know when you're winning?" And keep in mind that the question is not IF you're winning, but WHEN.  Well, if to win is to struggle or strive then, by all means, I was definitely winning.  The point is that I don't think you really know exactly when you win in most cases.  You just keep plodding ahead, step by necessary step, and when you simply can't go on, you give yourself permission to stop and regroup without the need for judgment.  So I did. 

I dragged myself to bed and the next day, I completed the drawers quickly and from a much better perspective.  And life is so often just that way.  You move forward, exerting real effort but somehow your progress is hard to gauge. Eventually you get to a place, like the top of a hill you couldn't see, and from there, things get easier or pick up speed or both. For me, there was no great fanfare when I finally finished assembling the chest.  Because by definition, winning is a process rather than a point in time. There was just that delicious aftertaste of having finished the job and knowing the struggle was over. The real reward is in the closure for completion completes me completely.

Just remember, when you're really trying, the win is guaranteed because you are always learning, evolving your strategy and getting closer.  To strive is to win and to be a winner is to be successful and prosperous. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "A man is a method, a progressive arrangement, a selecting principal, gathering his like unto him wherever he goes.  What you are comes to you."

Earlier in the podcast, I told you I'd be asking you a small favor and here it is:

Please tell me about yourself, about the questions I might answer for you in the upcoming episodes.  I really want to connect with you and to evolve this podcast in the way that supports your highest good.  I'd love to hear FROM you and ABOUT you at feedback@peaceofprosperity.com

Please join me next time as I answer the question "What do I do with desire?" Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.

Welcome!

Today I'm going to ask you a very important question.  It's a question that might make you a little self-conscious at first.  It may catapult you into judgment or discomfort or, perhaps, it will cause you to think.  And the question is "What are you wearing?"

C'mon...you can tell me.  Are you still in your pajamas?  Are you sporting a corporate look?  Are you wearing those old sweats with the comfy waste?  Now that I've asked, I'm curious about your reaction.  Did you look down at yourself?  Did you stop and wonder what the things you wear say about you?

In a status-conscious culture, it's virtually impossible NOT to assign some value to the ways in which we present ourselves to others.  That's particularly true of women who've primped and powdered, polished and preened themselves for centuries in deference to the men who once wielded the power of affirming or denying a woman her good fortune or even her future.

But... things have changed.  Or have they?  Are women, who now have the power to vote, to exercise birth control and to be wildly successful, not as objectified now as much as ever before? At any point in history have women been more willing to surgically break and enter into their own bodies for the sake of suggestion?  As if to declare solely by their packaging "I'm happy and whole, successful and strong."

The reality is that I'm no stranger to this phenomenon.  I grew up in the age of endless shopping malls and, in Southern California where I was raised, the pressure to be thin, gorgeous and forever bronzed is as strong now as it ever was.

But here's the thing: I really love being a woman.  I like wearing makeup and heels.  You know there's a lot of pleasure in putting on a beautiful dress and having my four-year-old son come in and say "Mommy, you look nice" with a little glimmer and a big smile.

And there's my point: that we so often believe only what we see.  We've been taught to look and label instead of listen and learn.  We even do that to ourselves.  Untold sums have been spent by marketers who'd have us equate looking good with feeling good and feeling good with a BEING good.

I'm confident that you know precisely what I mean about how success "looks" by today's standard.  I'm quite certain that at some point, you've walked past a woman who was perfectly coiffed and dressed in designer clothes; no part of her appearance overlooked with one exception... her face.

You know her.  She's the picture of perfection and the image of success until your eyes meet hers, and there you find an expression of pain or anger, sadness or maybe even absence.  She's there, yes; filling out the clothes.  But still, she is NOT there in a deeply fundamental way.  She's playing the part, simply going through the motions, while missing the essence of what it is to be truly present to the radiant spectrum that is life.

You may never understand her suffering, and yet, her struggle is not just hers, but yours and mine.  It's the pursuit of joy.  Mercurial and uncontainable joy is not something you own, but an experience you pursue every morning that you're lucky enough to be greeted by the sunrise.

So... what are you wearing?  How might you decide to dress yourself today in the brilliant power of a smile?  What would you need to choose that for yourself?  Would you choose it if you realized that the sheer power of a smile is the very joy it can no longer contain?  It's the genuine happiness that expands and then spills forth from you to quench a needful, grateful world.

And how might sharing a smile make life better for everyone who receives your gift?  Each recipient empowered to reflect your joy back up on you like a bright light that casts out shadows and invites you to blossom, perhaps a bit wider still.

So... here's my request.  Tomorrow, when you begin your day, please don't leave the house naked.  And when you dress yourself, remember this story and don't look down, but up.  Look upon yourself with gladness, just for the day.  Consciously dress yourself in the glamour and the goodness of an open, honest smile.  For a smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home.

Please join me next time as I answer the question "How do you know when you're winning?"

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.