Success Coaching: What's Your Resolution?

What’s Your Resolution?

Welcome back!  It's that time again when you might consider making some important changes in the year ahead. So what's your resolution? A resolution is the act of determining a course of action either privately or as a public expression of intent.

 

Are you ready to do or be something "different"?  Will you strive for self-improvement... to be more fit or more focused, or perhaps more consistent and more organized?  Are you one of those people that makes secret resolutions because you're afraid that if you tell somebody what you want to achieve and then don't do it, that you’ll only add embarrassment to the shame you might already feel? One thing's for sure, whatever you do, you're going to do it with real purpose and commitment this time.  Right?

 

But guess what?  Yours truly, the ever-reliable source of optimism, is here to share the harsh reality about resolutions.  The truth is that 72% of resolutions fail.  It's incredible I know but, if you've ever resolved to make changes in your life, then you've probably also fallen short of your goals.

 

So, in my ongoing effort to shift away from either/or thinking, I’d like you to consider the possibility that you make NO resolutions whatsoever this year.  That's not to say that personal development isn't valuable.  It is to say that growth and progress are not exclusive to your level of self-control and determination.

 

I agree that discipline has its proper place.  Within this context, I'm suggesting to you that discipline might come in the form of exercising your right to actively avoid resolution making of any kind.

 

Consider this: Is what you really want for your future based on some form of self criticism?  Is moving your goal from ideation to realization just a means to an end?  Is it a byproduct of permission-based living? Or could it be a matter of your creating those conditions upon which you allow yourself approval and kindness? 

 

It's a lot to think about I know.  But it's important that you consider the source of that which you find undesirable in yourself or otherwise deem worthy of change. Because when you fully grasp the big WHY behind your resolutions, only then can you invite something new with the requisite self-knowledge and self-acceptance that allows change to occur with any permanency.

 

So... I hope you'll join me this year in making NO resolutions.  I hope you'll share my path as I explore the alternatives to inviting positive and lasting change.

 

A friend of mine recently shared with me that she felt as though her life has no more surprises in store.  She said it with a sense of sadness and loss.  And my response to her was this: Life is absolutely full of surprises but, if you become hyper-focused on pre-determined outcomes, you'll certainly miss the unexpected opportunities that arise. When opportunity does knock, you might answer the door to discover something that doesn’t at all resemble the image in your mind. How many possibilities have been rejected or altogether thrown away because they don’t match the picture of how it’s SUPPOSED TO look?

 

So the question then for everyone in my audience is "Are you ready to let go of that perfect picture of what you think life SHOULD be?" Letting go means remaining open and present to the sometimes subtle surprises that make life so exciting! Letting go is much easier when you recognize the critically important difference between surrender and capitulation.

 

Surrendering can be thought of as giving up whereas capitulating can be likened to giving IN.  To give up is to stop trying and acknowledge defeat; an ending of sorts.  So it's no wonder that no one wants to surrender because no one wants to believe that their dreams are impossible or that they’re a failure.

 

On the other hand, when you capitulate, you give in to the natural ebb and flow that IS life!  You finally stop resisting and wasting your precious energy on struggle.  To give into the ever-present current of life is not an ending but a significant BEGINNING. From that point of beginning, you're consciously positioning yourself as agent of change; a conduit through which the unexpected may now take place.  Remember, it's not about making good things happen but letting good things happen.

 

Letting the good stuff in requires that you give into the power of NOW.  Being in the now and achieving that level of presence is to stop dreaming about what could be or trying to figure out what you're supposed to do next.  Actually, the true task at hand is to honor curiosity.

 

Curiosity is defined as being careful and diligent.  In other words, it means that you stop for a few minutes and care about what's going on, really going on, in this present moment.  It begins with recognizing yourself first then others, and ultimately recognizing the succulent possibilities that become visible to those who are patient enough to look closely.

 

In the end, it's not really a matter of changing your life but of allowing your life to change YOU!  So will you have the discipline to wait and see; to serenely await guidance and goodness to enter in its own form and upon its own schedule? Your answer will most certainly be YES if you first take a moment to imagine the joy that accompanies deep satisfaction of your curiosity.

Joseph Campbell, the acclaimed professor and author once wrote “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.�

Here's my 7-day challenge for you:

Each day for the next week make a list of those areas of your life in which you experience struggle. Instead of engaging the struggle, use your critical thinking and feeling capacity to gain an intimate understanding of what's behind the struggle.  What might you be resisting and, if you are indeed resisting, what is that resistance perpetuating?  Understanding conflicts allows you to move beyond them and come back to the gift of the present. Look upon every aspect of your life with genuine wonder an intense curiosity.  See everything with the unassuming eyes of a child. Take in all the nourishment and knowledge available to you in any passing instant to be enriched, supported, protected and guided to the life that is waiting just for you!

 

Please join me next time when I ask "Parlez-vous Prosperity?"

 

Until then, I leave you with abundant peace.